Rudolph, The Lame-Ass Lawyer

Rudy Giuliani was born as Rudolph Giuliani. Yesterday’s holiday-themed post featured a Giuliani tweet, and it got me thinking of a festive holiday parody song featuring him. No, not White Power Christmas, Arrest Ye Guilty Gentlemen, or even O Flip All Ye Guilty. I’m talking about …

Wait, what? You know already? Oh right, the damn title of this blog post. So much for suspense, and the same goes for Mike Pence. Sorry, been doing too much rhyming. Without further ado, here is Rudolph, The Lame-Ass Lawyer.

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My Fave Faves – Condensed Album Edition

I killed the blog series I called My Fave Faves as quickly as I started it once I realized that even I didn’t care about what I was writing. But thanks to my oldest son, it is back for a curtain call in a slightly different form. My son is part of creating a music podcast called Ear Buds.

Ear Buds

I was featured on the 4th episode with my review of a Dan Auerbach (of the Black Keys) song called King of a One Horse Town. Spoiler Alert: Loved it! If you have iTunes, you can access that podcast through this LINK. Choose podcast #31 (which is really #4) called My Dad Is Not A Twitter Bot and you can access my song review at the 8:10 mark, which also happens to be my son’s name. Mark, not 8:10, although Mark 8:10 sounds very New Testamenty and religious. If you listen to the podcast, you will hear that my reviews were supposed to be a recurring feature. At my son’s request, I did write one more for a Greta Van Fleet song. Never aired. They lied. I’m as upset about that as an old man ordering salad at a restaurant that serves chunkless, runny blue cheese salad dressing. Gross. Gotta’ have chunks.

Recently, my son asked me for 3 to 5 of my favorite all-time albums, and not greatest hits collections. That was not going to be possible. I could not help him out. Why?

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Trumpatized 2.0

FREE download of Trumpatized at https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/antwoneedwards. Great arrangement and recording by St Louis rapper Twon Ali of an anti-Trump rap poem I wrote. I am very hopeful that this is the last day that this song has any relevance as Democrats take back Congress tomorrow. Download FREE and enjoy or stream on Spotify.

 

The Day the Music Died – Part 2, Sunday

Despite missing out on concert nirvana on Saturday, I awoke Sunday morning knowing that I would be at a concert that night, for free, accompanied by my lovely wife and complaining 10 year old daughter. When we dragged our youngest to a Cheap Trick concert, the only part she enjoyed was the raccoon working the trash can.

 

I knew that traffic would be negligible and parking would be free since the show would be in our local concert hall. I had received the good news on Saturday.

Rising Tix

Now what the heck is The Rising? It sounds a bit like a Stephen King movie.

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The Day the Music Died – Part 1, Saturday

There is a line in Don McLean’s song, American Pie, about “the day the music died.” For me, it should have been “the days the music died” which perfectly described this past weekend for me. My 2018 concert summer experience was just showing signs of life with September concerts by Cheap Trick and Rare Earth. This past Saturday, I had a chance to make 2018 a memorable concert summer.

Chicago is a city chock full o’ of summer music festivals, and Riot Fest came to town this past weekend. No, it is not a celebration of the 1968 Democratic National Convention held in Chicago between riots. It’s an incredible 3-day music festival. I could have seen Weezer headline Friday night, and I thought it would be cool on Sunday to see Debbie Harry bring Blondie to Riot Fest to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the release of their great album Parallel Lines. But I couldn’t believe the line-up of artists I could see on Saturday. I could spend about 7 hours there in music heaven wandering from stage to stage to see favorites. Take a look at this line-up …

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I Just Want to Celebrate a Rare Earth Occurrence

While not quite as dramatic as Lazarus being raised from the dead, my 2018 summer concert experience twitched imperceptibly and showed a faint pulse this past weekend after I left it for dead in this blog post. Why did I end the post with a tease like I did? Did I know that Rare Earth defibrillator paddles would jolt my 2018 summer concert experience back from the dead?

By Rare Earth, I am not referring to a rare earth element like the 15 lanthanides, or even perhaps scandium or yttrium. I am referring to this Rare Earth …

Rare Earth

However, I think the really hairy dude in the center is named Joe Scandium. Regardless, I am talking about the band Rare Earth that opened up the California Jam music festival in 1974 in front of 300,000 people …

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My Pathetic Musicless Summer Ends

There is no discussion about whether my 2018 summer concert experience sucked or not. It did. I could see it coming for a variety of reasons that I don’t have the time, space, or desire to explain here. My 2018 summer music experience consisted of 3 consecutive nights of music detailed in this blog post and this one. Pretty sad since I live close enough to Chicago to attend the Lollapalooza and Pitchfork music festivals, and Summerfest in Milwaukee is just a couple hour drive away.

But that was where my 2018 concert experience was at when we got an invite from neighbors to see Rock & Roll Hall of Famers Cheap Trick over the Labor Day weekend at Naperville’s Last Fling Festival. The invitation came as a complete surprise since most people make it a point to spend less time rather than more time with me. I had always wanted to see Cheap Trick, so I didn’t mention their invitation error as we accepted and made plans.

By the day of the concert, our Chicago area weather had turned from warm, still days of summer to the unpredictability of fall. Hot and sunny one minute. Cool and wet the next. The day of the concert was just such a day. Storms were predicted that hot and muggy night after the concert should be over, but it was already sprinkling as we backed out of the driveway on our way to the show. Sigh! But on we went. I regretted not accepting our neighbor’s offer to buy the tickets for us just in case it got rained out. I was in an Eeyore mood and just not looking forward to parking a half mile away, sitting on a blanket in a wet, grassy area and getting drenched.

After parking, we walked towards the music, and I asked one of the festival people in a courtesy cart for the most direct way to an entrance. We were invited to hop aboard for a ride over. I asked her if we looked so old that we needed a ride. She politely didn’t really answer my question, but she told me that if I wanted to see old, just wait until we see Cheap Trick.

And speaking of looking old, as I waited in line with my ID in hand to get a wristband so I could buy overpriced beer, I noticed that IDs were being carefully checked. I extended my hand holding my ID, and a band was immediately attached to my wrist, ID unchecked. After that, I knew I was ready to give Cheap Trick a run for their money when it came to looking old.

As we waited for Cheap Trick, we sat through an opening act called Lucky Boys Confusion. I took a pic of them onstage for this blog post because the dark storm clouds were rapidly heading our way.

Cheap Trick Lucky Boys

I figured if I posted a blurry pic, I could pass them off as Cheap Trick in this blog in case of a rainout. But I didn’t need to engage in any blog trickery. Before we knew it, Lucky Boys Confusion had finished their entertaining set, and the stage was being readied for Cheap Trick. But before that, we were treated to a show by an artist known to some as The Trash Panda. Pics follow.

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Musical Musings

As I hit the road tonight for a business trip, the important question on my mind was how to amuse myself for almost 4 hours in a car by myself. Crocheting was not an option as I was out of yarn. I also don’t know how to crochet. I decided to pay attention to rush hour traffic and listen to local radio for a while until I was out of the range of Chicago stations. That got to me almost to The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC which I am able to listen to thanks to Sirius XM satellite radio. Listening is as good as watching since she wears the same damn black blazer every night. As always, she was a good listen/watch.

Rachel’s show eventually disappeared into the ether. Day had become night and as my car hurtled through the darkness, I needed to keep occupied for the next 90 minutes or so. I cast my lot with music and began searching for a song to transition my drive from yak about votes to songs with notes. I stumbled upon this inconsequential, yet catchy number …

That immediately got me thinking of the Top 10 reasons NOT to meet me in The Middle. And here they are …

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Music is a Cruel Mistress

You may have seen some of my music posts, whether it be a concert review or a new song release in which I had a hand writing lyrics. I love music, but music is a very cruel mistress. She hasn’t yet been too cruel to me, probably because I keep music at arm’s length. I have even come away with a song I wrote that I want played at my funeral. That song release did not make for a popular blog post, but I don’t really care because I just love that song. But I know not to push the musical gods too much. They will chew me up and spit me out.

Just take a look at this poster for the North Coast Music Festival that is coming up over Labor Day weekend in Chicago.

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I’ll Get Back to You

As I explained in a recent blog post, the live performance debut of Do It, a song I co-wrote, did not go well. I had taken video, and I wanted the band to hear it for themselves so that it would never be played live that way again.

The video is an mp4 and a very large file size, so I decided to use DropBox to share the file with the band. Here’s a screenshot of the upload.

Dropbox

So the band will have some feedback and the video by next June. Sound good?

 

A Concerted Effort

Little did I know 3 days ago that after a summer of zero concerts, I would have 3 under my belt in 3 days. I already regaled you with tales of seeing the legendary Dave Mason, albeit briefly, in concert. Feel free to pass the story, soon to be legend, down to your grandchildren. With no budget for concert tix left in 2018, who could I possibly see perform for free?

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My Low Budget 2018 Summer Concert Experience Begins

After dropping wads of cash to see the Broadway musical Hamilton, my 2018 summer concert budget is shot. If I am going to any concerts this summer, they are going to have to be economical. This ticket’s price seemed perfect for my 2018 concert budget …

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An Inside Look at Hamilton

It may be hard to believe a cheapskate like me paid to see Hamilton, but I did this past weekend. Too bad I didn’t get a ticket for my wife. She would have enjoyed the show.

Just kidding. I got us both tickets, and excellent seats. Here’s our view from the first row of the mezzanine …

Hamilton Stage

I would definitely sit there again. But as I sat there, I became obsessed with the seats in this section …

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We Interrupt This Blog …

I hate to bring you the bad news, but the regularly scheduled blog post featuring information about my toenails has been bumped again to tomorrow. I can understand and support your decision to never read this blog again if you are that upset by these scheduling changes or are simply sick of this blog. There are days that I never want to post again. The reason for this schedule change is special. It is an opportunity to pull back the curtain and get to know me a little too well in a way that we will both feel very uncomfortable. I’m featured on a YouTube video …

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I’ve Been Stood Up

Once Trumpatized 2018 v2.0 was released, I was pretty sure I was just a few million downloads away from easy street, fame and fortune. How was I going to get a few million downloads? I figured I’d start with one million and work my way up from there. I wasn’t so sure about how to do that, except I was certain that all of you reading this would not be a huge help. Geez, it’s like pulling teeth to just get a “Like” on some of these posts, probably because reading some of my posts is like getting a tooth pulled. I had to find a way to get that song to go viral, although I was willing to settle for bacterial.

I decided on promotion. I have heard that there is no such thing as bad publicity, so I considered a really random act of stupidity that would get national attention, but the office of President is already filled. What? It’s working for him.

I tried more traditional methods and shopped the song around to some progressive media outlets. The response was incredible. No wait, I typed that wrong. The response was inaudible, except for these guys …

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Trumpatized 2018 v2.0

About a month ago, I introduced you to the rap song that I thought would send me to the Grammy Awards to pick up some hardware for Best New Artist or Whitest New Artist, one of those two. Feel free to take a listen again to Trumpatized 2018 v1.0. Heck, I even picked out a rap name to use.

That has not worked out as planned. Nobody is interested and my wife refuses to call me by my rap name of J-Saggy. And then it (or my wife, I’m really not sure which) hit me. If v1.0 failed, it couldn’t be because of the content and brilliant lyrics. The reason had to be because a Canadian recorded it. This country is so intent on making America great again that new music coming from Canada will likely be ignored. There was only one solution …

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Bush – Cusack – Wonder – Garfunkel – Cetera

RIP Barbara Bush. When I hear liberals and conservatives alike celebrating her life and mourning her passing, I am certain she was a wonderful person. As First Lady and thereafter, she worked tirelessly to promote family literacy. Although there is some irony that the person living in the White House today doesn’t read anything, Barbara Bush and her Foundation for Family Literacy has helped millions.

I wanted to follow some of the news coverage last night including the news of Mrs. Bush’s passing, but there was this movie …

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Trumpatized 2018, v1.0

You probably didn’t believe me when I wrote that I needed a rap name for when I collect a Grammy for best new rap song. I think I have settled on J-Saggy, although KY-Jelly still intrigues me. Finally, at long last, here is the upcoming Rap Song of the Year, Trumpatized 2018, v1.0 …

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Do It

It has been a while since the musical supergroup project I am part of called Sunsets Rising dropped a new song on this unsuspecting world. First, there was my head injury if you remember that blog post that also contained unabashed plugs and links for more music from Sunsets Rising. Three months later, and I still have vision issues and numbness in my face. Go ahead, make a joke about me likely having numbness in my whole head based on the quality of my blog posts the last three months.

The head injury gave way to the holidays and those gave way to one of my collaborators working on some solo music about losing a running race to a guy in a Gumby costume. He calls it Running Gumby.

gumby

Yep, that Gumby, and he did a nice job with the song. Once he was done with that song, he started work on a very vanilla rock song with a semi-catchy hook that I had written called Do It. Finishing Do It should have taken no time at all, except my songwriting collaborator decided that Do It needed to contain …

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