My Vacation Water Rescue

Sure, I helped in a water rescue while on vacation. It was nothing. No need to heap praise or adulation on me. A key to the city might be nice, but I’m not pushing for it.

My wife had used a painful foot injury as a lame (pun intended) excuse to avoid shopping with relatives. So I was in downtown Grand Ledge, Michigan walking endlessly from shop to shop while looking for something sharp to purchase and thrust into my heart.

Part of the group I was with took a break from the excitement of shopping to walk along the river. My grand-niece commented that a man was calling 911. On us? I went to confront him and cause a scene. Anything to get out of more shopping to come.

He was calling 911 since there was a riding mower in the river.


Unfortunately …

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My Wife Has Forgotten the Concept of the Free Hotel Breakfast

Many years ago when we had just two kids, my wife and I wanted to take them to Disney World. One of the biggest problems was lack of cash. My wife rejected my idea of hitchhiking down to Florida, and suggested we stay at a modest hotel that offered a free breakfast as a way to save money. Wow, that sounded boring and full of common sense, but that’s what we did. At that free hotel breakfast, we not only ate our morning meal, but we squirreled away food in every pocket and bag we could bring to the breakfast area without arousing suspicion.

Marge coat with pockets

Those muffins, boxes of cereal, and fruit became our snacks at Disney throughout the day. After one day of walking a Disney theme park with my pants pocket soaked in grease, I stopped taking bacon.

With that history, I was surprised to see this yesterday morning after breakfast …

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Too Much Junk in the Trunk

We arrived at our relative’s place in central Michigan and I immediately put my amateur arborist skills to work. When I was a kid, I had planned to be a tree surgeon when I grew up, but I couldn’t stand the sight of sap. That’s why I still have trouble looking in the mirror.

Vaudeville jokes aside, our relatives had a tree that had to come down. A quick look and the reason for the tree’s demise should be apparent to all, even non-arborists.

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