The Single Biggest Threat to Democracy

There are those that think that having a cruel, vindictive, racist, sexual predatory, dementia addled, Adderall snorting, Fox News watching, fast food & Diet Coke guzzling, fake tan and hair wearing, popular vote losing, foreign government conspiring, forever impeached moron in the White House is the single biggest threat to our democracy. Maybe. I think a case could legitimately be made.

However, consider this …

Ballot 2020

Yes, I am running again for a position nobody wants. The fact that a dope like me can get on a ballot should also get some consideration as a threat to our democracy.  I highly suggest some guardrails be added in the future to prevent this abomination from ever happening again.

A Tempting Offer

My small import/export business is always being offered money to pay down debt that we don’t have. These 2 offers just came in.


I’m really tempted to take the combined $1.5 million and run. I could give you a hint that if there is no Mite Be Funny this Sunday, you’ll know what happened, but then you’d be rooting for me to take the money and run.

Brace Yourself for my Flip-Flop

I have 5 kids and consider myself fortunate that I have only paid for braces for 1 of the kids so far. My youngest son probably needed braces, but never got them. He was born with too many teeth in his mouth and had to have several extracted including the one growing from the roof of his mouth. Something like this, but only one extra tooth in the roof of his mouth, not a whole second set of choppers. Yikes!

teeth too many

Geez, you could go broke just buying toothpaste for that mouth, but you might be able to chew your food twice as fast. Anyway, my son never got braces for several reasons:

  • I am cheap.
  • He was playing sports that required mouthguards.
  • He didn’t want them.
  • I am cheap.

Now my wife tells me our youngest daughter who is 11 needs braces. I immediately began spewing reasons why she didn’t need them. And then I did a complete 180 degree flip-flop after I heard this …

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