A Great Pumpkin?

I’m so upset. I told my wife that we had pumpkins growing in the garden. I didn’t plant them. They just sprung up from seeds from old pumpkins I composted in the garden last Fall. I even showed her pics of the pumpkins growing so she wouldn’t throw our money away on buying pumpkins.

But still, she purchased pumpkins to place on our front porch for Fall decorations. What. A. Waste. I harvested the pumpkins from our garden and placed them in front of the ones my wife had so cavalierly purchased. Take a look. They look great.

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In Through the Out Door

I have a dear friend getting a colonoscopy and endoscopy this week on the same day. I’m concerned that they may do both scopes from opposite ends at the same time. What if the two scopes meet in the middle? What if the scopes meet and get tangled? What if my friend then has to have surgery to get the scopes untangled? What if the scopes meet, fall in love, and elope together to the gall bladder? I need answers to these questions, please. I am literally asking for a friend.

Trump COVID Plan

Finally, after all these months of anxiously waiting, we get Trump’s COVID plan. Honestly, I never thought we would get a comprehensive plan from the Trump administration to battle this deadly virus. Sometimes it seemed like they didn’t even take it seriously, like when Trump and his surrogates called it a hoax. Or when they hold super-spreader campaign rallies across the county. But it’s all good because … there’s finally a plan!

Go to https://trumpcovidplan.com/ Make sure to click on the Learn More link on the page to, well, learn more, duh!

Borat, Fall, and Email Scams

I enjoyed the new Borat movie called Borat Subsequent Moviefilm. It is not quite as crass as the original, and it has a sweet father-daughter relationship plot. It rips the top off right-wing American culture so we can see just how gross it is, in case we didn’t know already. I watched it on my Kindle as soon as it was available. But I wanted to see it in all its grandeur on a larger screen. So I headed to our basement where a slightly larger TV screen is available. It was there in our basement where I experienced fall.

Not the season fall, but this kind of fall …

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Great Success!

I want to announce that I will be unavailable for blogging on the 23rd of October. That is typically cause for celebration and great rejoicing. Why am I unavailable, you ask? Wait, what? You didn’t ask? You don’t care? Regardless, I will be busy on the 23rd. I will be occupied watching this over and over again …

That’s right, the sequel to Borat hits Amazon Prime on the 23rd. The reviews are in and generally positive. And you may have heard some news yesterday about this co-star in the movie.

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New Music for Old Rockers – RIP Edition

I haven’t done a NMFOR post in almost 4 months. Without live music, it sometimes seems to me that new music doesn’t exist. But it does! There’s some excellent new music being released. Here are some links to new music by Tame Imapala, My Morning Jacket, Bruce Springsteen, and Dayglow. Now the last song isn’t new. It was released over 2 years ago by a high school kid with a green screen, some musical talent, and the ability to write an easy, listenable song. Over 42 million YouTube views later and it finally is getting some radio airplay.

I want to make it clear – none of these artists have died. They are just examples of new music being made despite the Age of COVID.

That brings me to this new release of an old song written by someone taken from us by COVID – John Prine. Kurt Vile teamed with John Prine to record Prine’s “How Lucky.” I like the contrast between Vile’s clean vocals and Prine’s rough, cancer-scarred vocals that somehow still sound great. And together at the end of the song, their voices blend together magically.

It got me thinking about all the musicians we lost in 2020. I put together this supergroup …

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We are starting a remodel of our master bathroom. Last night, we went to look at bathroom vanities at a closed fitness & massage storefront with a street address of 10039 & 1/2. I thought those fractional addresses were only found in Harry Potter novels. As we arrived, an old man with an Eastern European (?) accent accosted us in the parking lot and called inside to tell the seller that we had arrived. This morning, I purchased one of the vanities for cash only with no receipt given from the back of the seller’s rented truck in a gas station parking lot. I’m starting to think this deal may be a bit shady.

I, Monster

Take a look at the soap I’m using these days …

I count at least 5 bars used to make this Frankensoap monstrosity. But I need to come clean. I don’t want to shower you with dirty lyes. As I prepare to add another sliver of soap rejected by my wife, I realize that although there may be a monstrosity residing in my soap dish, the real monster is its creator … me.

Happy Halloween? Not for the Face-Covered Piñata

My 12 year old daughter is still casually interested in Halloween. She was thrilled to see we received this invite from a neighbor.

I have so many questions …

  • If everyone brings a face cover for the piñata, isn’t that going to be too many for the piñata to wear?
  • Does the piñata really need a face cover?
  • Can’t the piñata provide its own face cover?
  • If the face covers are for party attendees to wear, are they because of COVID or is the piñata loaded with shrapnel?
  • Can we use the water provided to clean our potential shrapnel wounds?
  • Is a piñata a small piña?

I expect my daughter to attend, stand around, try and look cool, and not attack a defenseless piñata. But she will definitely be wearing a mask, just like all of us should when we are around other non-piñata humans.


A New Cartoon? (God help us all)

That’s right, from the same mentally unstable creative team that gave you award-losing cartoons such as Mulch Ado About Nothing, Mite Be Funny, and the Pulitzer Prize-ignored Flies On Washington Walls comes a new cartoon called …

Flies On Mike Pence’s Head

Well, that didn’t go as planned. Maybe we’ll give the creative team their meds and rethink this while you enjoy a song.

How Dumb Can Trumpers Be?

One of my neighbors allowed me to plant a nice row of 5 Democratic candidate signs at the back of their property along a main road.

There are 4 signs of very important candidates that we hope will flip our county board Democratic, flip an Illinois House seat Democratic, and retain Democratic control of our House of Representatives seat on the federal level. The least important sign is the Biden/Harris sign in the middle. The Biden/Harris race is OVER in Illinois. They should win Illinois with 65% of the vote.

So, what sign gets stolen by Trumpers? That’s right, the Biden/Harris sign. That race has never really been in doubt in Illinois.

I gladly replaced the Biden sign, hoping the idiot Trumpers take the bait once again and steal the Biden sign while leaving the rest. Don’t let me down, dummies.

Emily Can Rot in Paris

Deep dish pizza is kind of a Chicago thing. Is it healthy? No. It’s a round disk of tomatoes & sauce on top of a glob of melted cheese packed inside of a delicious crust. Add meats and veggies to taste. There is no more delicious crust than Chicago’s own Lou Malnati’s pizza. It took me a couple of pies before it hooked me. Now, no other deep dish pie comes close for my taste because of the Malnati’s crust. Here’s a pic of a Malnati’s slice/complete meal.

But apparently there’s someone in Paris that disagrees about the deliciousness of Malnati’s pizza. Someone named Emily. Lurking about on Netflix. Here’s the headline …

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