This story about thermometers throwing the election to Joe Biden got the investigative team at Jim Flanigan Looks at the World whipped into a fever pitch. I took the temperature of the team on this subject. Opinions were running hot and cold over whether we should delve behind the facts to generate reckless stories full of conjecture and speculation. My mercurial views were ignored, and cooler heads prevailed.
Fresh out of temperature references, we assigned our top two Jim Flanigan Looks at the World investigative reporters to the story.
Don’t worry. I really don’t have a hostage … yet, but I am willing to learn how to take one. I was approached by Rachel (not her full real name) from the Rachel Being Chatty blog asking if I would reblog some of her posts in return for cash. No, wait, it wasn’t cash. She would reblog one of mine. It was a deal that I couldn’t refuse. You see, over time, I have become convinced that the Rachel Being Chatty blog is actually run by a famous comedian (Sarah Silverman perhaps?) who is workshopping new stand-up material. It’s full of brilliant stuff like this one …
COVID has resulted in global supply chain shortages. That’s a nice way of saying that delivery times can suck these days. My small medical equipment business is no exception. Our delivery times have been extended from time to time since COVID. But we received this PO from a customer and even with COVID-extended supply chain shortages, I think we should be able to make their requested delivery date as shown on their purchase order.
We’ll definitely get it delivered by the last month of 2050. I just may not be the person arranging the delivery in 2050.
July was a real up & down month weightwise for me. Up is not the direction I want to go, but 2 personal trips, 1 business trip, and a family birthday party throw my eating and exercise plans off a bit. I was up a couple pounds, down a couple, up, down, up, down, etc. But the final result for July was down 3 lbs, and I made my goal weight set at the beginning of the COVID lockdown.
It wasn’t because of my steps. They were down, under 10,000 per day, but purposely so.
It might appear from the featured image and headline below that this post may be heading toward a story about Republican politicians like Ron DeSantis or Matt Gaetz, but it’s not. This post is NOT about any elected Republicans, but about an actual penis snake as shown in the picture that follows the headline.
You can see I removed where the penis snakes were found, just so you can make a guess. There is a hint in the first sentence of this post. Click HERE to link to the full story and check your answer, or read the following excerpt with the answer.
Out of sheer boredom, I have been trying to schedule some open water swimming. But Saturday, my attempt to actually swim across the actual Lake Michigan was actually rebuffed as Lake Michigan was actually closed! Actually! I took our youngest daughter to stay with our oldest daughter on Saturday for a sister-bonding sleepover, and we stopped at beautiful Montrose Beach in Chicago on the way for a quick swim.
Montrose is a beautiful urban beach, complete with sand dunes. But on Saturday, it was closed because of a brisk wind from the northeast creating some dangerous riptides. I still wanted to give it a try. Where were the “my body, my choice” anti-vaxxers when I needed them to back me up?
Anyway, we walked and relaxed a bit on the beach instead of swimming. I had already gotten some laps in my pool, and after a half mile on Sunday (that’s 175 laps!), I find myself here in Lake Michigan.
My wife and I have discussed where we would like to retire. Maybe some place with a little warmer climate, by the water, and with affordable housing would be nice. Hmm, sounds like a trailer park in Louisiana would possibly qualify for consideration. But not just any trailer park will do. How does Tee Boi’s Swinger Trailer Park in Louisiana sound? Take a look and decide for yourself.
Good things are happening for me professionally today. As you may have read in one of my previous posts, I am now an elected government official in my township. I went in to the township office to audit and approve some expenses this morning, and was pleasantly surprised to see this …
I apologize to Cleveland for satirically picking on them, but I am a Chicago White Sox fan.
In this satirical post, I have decided NOT to promote my book of short stories. I don’t want anyone to be confused and think the info about my book is satirical. It’s not. I really did write a book of humorous and contemplative books about the afterlife.
As I teased in my last post, I was tempted after my swim last Saturday. Being America’s Friend, I was speaking to a total stranger despite the stranger wearing very tight shorts and sporting a somewhat satanic beard.
I was also wearing very tight swim shorts, and they were quite wet. We were both standing just outside the women’s locker room. And then the stranger tempted me to do something I haven’t done in years. He slipped me his card with his contact info. If I gave in to the temptation, I would meet the stranger again on the 1st of August for a dalliance into what I can only describe for me as … forbidden fruit.
The stranger had tempted me with this irresistible offer.
At my age, with a pandemic still raging all around, when there is something I want to do, I know I best do it quickly or maybe never have the chance. I mentioned in a recent post that I want to take my swim across Lake Michigan out of pools and into open water. I wasted no time and did just that this past Saturday.
I found a great lake to do an open water swim, but not a Great Lake. It wasn’t a good weekend to head to Lake Michigan (one of the 5 Great Lakes) to swim, because we are fostering 2 puppies. Who wants to see puppy pictures and video? Well, maybe if you’re nice and like this post, or better still, beg me, I’ll post some puppy stuff. Anyway, I found a great lake just about 40 minutes up the river from us that was hosting a morning open water swim in beautiful, crystal clear waters. Take a look …
Take a look at your calendar, and you’ll see that summer is half over. Unless you live in Canada. Summer’s already over up there. I wonder if it’s already over in Chicago. We’ve had some cool, rainy weather recently, which makes my pool quite chilly and my motivation low to swim in a frigid pool. Today is just such a day. My toes are turning blue at the thought of a pool swim today. Regardless, here we are, halfway through calendric summer, and I’m halfway across Lake Michigan at just over 11 miles into the swim.
I can’t get too bored and stop swimming. I’m figuratively in the middle of the lake. If I stop, I’ll figuratively drown! So, on I swim. But I have to spice things up. I think I need to take this swimapalooza on the road. Sure, I swam in hotel pools the past two weekends in Nebraska and Minnesota. Pardon me while I yawn. I yearn for open water. I feel the need to get some mileage in Lake Michigan itself. I will let you know if I muster the motivation to head to the greatest of the Great Lakes and actually swim in it.
If you have to deal with cool, rainy weather, what better way is there than to curl up with a good book? If you don’t have one, I suggest you settle for my well-reviewed, crappy book.
As we traveled last weekend, I made sure I got my laps in at the hotel pool, because as readers know, I am swimming across Lake Michigan. One added benefit is that I made a new friend at the pool. I do consider myself America’s friend and sweetheart. He was an older gentlemen, and we were alone in the pool area, ostensibly to swim laps. But he confronted me with, “Can I ask about your weight?” Uh-oh. I looked for the closest exit in case his next question was an invitation to join him in the hot tub. But it wasn’t. He just had a question about my weight. Then my mind flashed to this tweet I had seen and wondered if his question might go this way.
But our conversation didn’t go that route. I told him that he could ask away, and he asked me this legitimate question.
I have hairy arms. They don’t bother me, although a few small children have been frightened. However, I know some readers may wish they had less hairy arms. The solution is simple. Overeat until you are morbidly obese. Your arms will be much larger, your skin will stretch, and there will be much more space between each arm hair giving the impression of overall less hair.
My book of short stories starts with one where God is depicted with very hairy arms.
It takes more than a bizarre sense of humor and just a touch of moxie to produce a Mite Be Funny cartoon every Sunday for years now. It takes cash, and lots of it. No wait, that’s my heroin habit. Regardless, send me a buck to keep it going. In return, you get my book of short stories.