I Ate Garbage Pie

Our church has what is called a bread ministry. They have a room full of baked goods like bread, cookies, pastries, bagels, etc. that are close to or past their expiration dates. Anyone is free to take what they want. Every once in a while like this past Sunday, they even put out foods to sit at room temperature that clearly require refrigeration. I would understand this more if ours was a church with a faith healing ministry. Get the parishioners sick on questionable food, and then heal them with a couple Imodium and a Pepto-Bismol chaser. But we don’t do that. Sure, we have the snake handling, but no faith healing. That would be weird. We just get sick.

My wife and I don’t typically take much from the bread ministry, but for whatever reason last Sunday, my wife came out of there with a couple bags of stuff. I never question free food. One item was an apple pie. Shortly after arriving home, I found the pie here …

That’s really not a pic of our actual garbage, but I swear the pie in our garbage was placed right on top, with just a slice taken out. I’m not sure why I didn’t ask my wife why she had thrown the pie away before taking a slice for myself from the garbage pie, but I didn’t. It looked fine and was delicious. I chalked it up to my wife being a finicky eater.

When I finally did ask her why she dumped the pie, she chalked it up to blue, fuzzy, mold.

She also chalked up my eating garbage pie to mental incompetence. I expect to be committed any day now.

I wondered if I should give it more thought before eating from the garbage. Maybe I should inspect the food more closely. I am afraid that this may still be the end result.

And that will also continue to be the look on my wife’s face.

P.S. – I saw no mold on my piece of garbage pie, although I did not look closely. I also did not get sick. Keep the faith.