Surviving Day 2 of a National Emergency

Donald Trump sought refuge at what appears to be a very crappy omelet bar at Mar-a-Lago as the United States bravely somehow made it through Day 2 of our national emergency of not having a big wall that Mexico refuses to pay for.

Trump omelet bar.jpg

Trump made good use of his Eggsecutive Time to decide if he wanted ketchup on his omelet or not. Two bottles of ketchup at the Mar-a-Lago omelet bar. Classy.

But something is amiss in that picture. Take a another look.

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Time Monopolizer

Ugh. It is that time of the year again. The local grocery is encouraging us to play their Monopoly game again, the biggest time waster I have ever encountered. Sure, we have won every year, about a net $25 worth of gift cards + free products for about 100 hours of work. It is so much work that when it ended last year, I filed for unemployment benefits. Denied.

I had initially resisted the Monopoly game’s siren song this year. I actually passed on taking tickets after checkout. I was a reformed man. Then my wife came home with this stack.

Monopoly stack

Thanks a lot to my wife for enabling my filthy habit. As I spread the game tickets out on my bed and rolled back and forth over them, I casually grabbed one. It wasn’t long before it was open, and what did I see?

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Your Righting All Wrong

As I continue to write more short stories, I have a cousin who is editing them. She has been a professional editor for decades. I know …

lucky

I am, but not just because she is editing for free. She’s always been like a big sister to me.

aw Aw, right?

I guess that’s why I got her a pair of Fancy Bitch socks for Christmas.

fancy bitch

She’s got a bit of an edge to her, so she loves them. In turn, she just sent me a book. I think the gift is a not-so-subtle tip to use better grammar when writing. If you are serious about becoming a better writer, GET. THIS. BOOK. Oh, sorry, my caps lock and period keys sometimes get stuck due to peanut butter in the keyboard. Here’s the book …

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