I’ve Been Stood Up

Once Trumpatized 2018 v2.0 was released, I was pretty sure I was just a few million downloads away from easy street, fame and fortune. How was I going to get a few million downloads? I figured I’d start with one million and work my way up from there. I wasn’t so sure about how to do that, except I was certain that all of you reading this would not be a huge help. Geez, it’s like pulling teeth to just get a “Like” on some of these posts, probably because reading some of my posts is like getting a tooth pulled. I had to find a way to get that song to go viral, although I was willing to settle for bacterial.

I decided on promotion. I have heard that there is no such thing as bad publicity, so I considered a really random act of stupidity that would get national attention, but the office of President is already filled. What? It’s working for him.

I tried more traditional methods and shopped the song around to some progressive media outlets. The response was incredible. No wait, I typed that wrong. The response was inaudible, except for these guys …

crickets chirp

And then I got a nibble. One of the media outlets that listened to Trumpetized 2018 v1.0 with general indifference seemed to like v2.0. They wanted to interview me. Me! Nobody wants to interview me. My wife dreads the thought of even asking me if I’ve seen her car keys.

This media conglomerate that wanted to interview me (Me!) calls Chicago their home, so I was ready to make plans for a visit to their fancy studio with free donuts for the interview. I would probably wear noise-cancelling headphones and have to speak into one of those funny looking microphones.


And maybe, just maybe, if I nail the interview, I could do one of these at the end, just not as well as President Obama …


Not so fast. Apparently, I’m more of their Skype type. So I got ready for my scheduled Skype interview, at least from my chest on up, and I waited … and waited … and waited.


Maybe they knew somehow that I was not wearing pants and could not bear (no pun intended) to interview a pantsless me. It turns out that they just forgot. I’m not sure how. I have almost as many followers of this blog as that media outlet has Twitter followers, and it is pretty easy to get Twitter followers if you want them. They are not exactly media giants, but whatever. We are rescheduled for next week. I’m not optimistic with the interview a week away. Now they have even more time to forget about me. I have been forgotten by much more important people and organizations than this small media outlet. But I guess if they do forget about me, they can just join the club.


Pun intended.