The Liberal Media Invades Football (satire alert!)

I think I finally understand the complaints about the liberal media. It all became perfectly clear as I watched my beloved Chicago Bears dismantle the New England Patriots on Monday Night Football last night. Take a look at who Peyton and Eli Manning had as a guest on their Manningcast.

That’s right. A liberal former Democrat President who had nothing to do with football during his career. How about having a qanonservative former Republican President as a guest who actually owned a professional football team? Here’s the story.

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I’ve Been Stood Up

Once Trumpatized 2018 v2.0 was released, I was pretty sure I was just a few million downloads away from easy street, fame and fortune. How was I going to get a few million downloads? I figured I’d start with one million and work my way up from there. I wasn’t so sure about how to do that, except I was certain that all of you reading this would not be a huge help. Geez, it’s like pulling teeth to just get a “Like” on some of these posts, probably because reading some of my posts is like getting a tooth pulled. I had to find a way to get that song to go viral, although I was willing to settle for bacterial.

I decided on promotion. I have heard that there is no such thing as bad publicity, so I considered a really random act of stupidity that would get national attention, but the office of President is already filled. What? It’s working for him.

I tried more traditional methods and shopped the song around to some progressive media outlets. The response was incredible. No wait, I typed that wrong. The response was inaudible, except for these guys …

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Enemy of the People

I decided to follow Trump’s lead on the media. In response to this real Trump tweet from yesterday …

trump-tweet-media-enemy

I punched out our paperboy this morning. I figured he must be complicit with our enemy, delivering their fake news. That did not work out well. And is it really fair that unexpired, perfectly good coupons cannot be used to help make bail?

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