Wow, the series of 10 Republican Presidential debates taken together has been the best reality television series ever. Despite the lack of substantive discussions or facts, there was drama, comedy and conflict, exactly what you want from reality TV. Each debate saw candidates get “voted off” the main debate by how they polled with us, the general public. We even saw some “get rescued” from the junior debate and get back to the main stage when their poll numbers rose, again thanks to us. But there is just one problem.
The series ended too soon. We have no “winner” of the series. There is no conclusion. The season ended with a cliffhanger. This is worse than when the gray-haired dude who’s currently a Vegas lounge singer beat Chris Daughtry to win American Idol. It’s like when The Bachelor gets a proposal rejected or a rose shoved back in his face. It’s an unresolved series finale. I want more. Here’s what I want:
- I want Trump to continue being the nasty, foul-mouthed, bullying housemate nobody likes from Big Brother.
- I want Marco Rubio to continue to pound away at Trump, like one of the skinny little “try hard” dudes going for the upset over the cheerleaders or muscle-heads on The Amazing Race.
- I want Creepy Ted Cruz to continue to be the one candidate that everyone hates and tries to vote off this political version of Survivor.
- I want John Kasich to continue to be completely forgettable, the archetype of the usual bland, nondescript first person typically voted off the island, out of the house, etc.
- I want Ben Carson to continue to be the dude on The Bachelorette with the weird answers and conversation that Bachelorette America just can’t seem to figure out, so he’s kept around for a while for amusement purposes.
These debates need to continue with ‘Murica voting off a candidate after each debate. FOX, are you listening? I can almost hear Ryan Seacrest saying, “Dial 1-800-Save Trump to keep The Donald from elimination.” I wish I could be dialing now.
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 