Would You Like Math With Your Burger?

A question has confounded me for the last 5 years. Can people really be dumb enough to support Donald Trump? I think I have my answer, thanks to a hamburger, which seems appropriate when speaking of Trump. Or, perhaps I should say hamberder. In case you have forgotten, click this link for a reminder of hamberder heaven.

Ah, memories. Anyway, the burger of which I speak is on the menu of a chain in the US called A&W, a franchise more famous for their root beer, which is undeniably awesome. There aren’t many A&W locations in Chicagoland, but there happens to be one about 15 minutes due south of my house. I rarely pass by without getting a root beer float.

It was the story of an A&W 1/3 pound burger meant to compete with the McDonald’s Quarter Pounder in the 1980s that gave me the answer to the Trump dilemma. I wasn’t familiar with the story until I saw this new A&W commercial.

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Taking the Temperature of the 2020 Election

This is a big story, if true.

This story about thermometers throwing the election to Joe Biden got the investigative team at Jim Flanigan Looks at the World whipped into a fever pitch. I took the temperature of the team on this subject. Opinions were running hot and cold over whether we should delve behind the facts to generate reckless stories full of conjecture and speculation. My mercurial views were ignored, and cooler heads prevailed.

Fresh out of temperature references, we assigned our top two Jim Flanigan Looks at the World investigative reporters to the story.

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Post-Election Disappointment

I attended my first monthly meeting as an elected Township Trustee. I have been somewhat disappointed. While I discovered that I now have an official nameplate which is very nice, I learned that I will NOT be receiving any of the following:

  • Badge
  • Uniform
  • Cap
  • Gun

The disappointment is hard to hide, so I don’t even try. I openly weeped through most of the monthly meeting. But then, my spirits were lifted when this arrived for me …

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Weight, Hair, & Election Losses

I normally like to wait a day or two after the end of the month to announce my weight loss for the month. I check my weight for several days in a row before and after the last day of the month to verify that I actually did lose weight that month. But here we are a week into May, and I’m still not sure. My weight bounced around like a ping pong ball at a college fraternity beer pong tournament. Up several pounds one day and down a pound the next. A week into May, and about the only statement I am comfortable making is that I didn’t lose any weight. I’m still staring at losing 10 pounds by the end of warm weather in the fall.

My weight loss plan was at a serious disadvantage in April with Easter coming early in the month. My plan to deal with all the chocolate in the house at Easter was to eat it all as quickly as possible. Success!

Easter was quickly followed two days later by the local election that I lost but still won. Yes, third runner-up was enough to be elected. I felt like a kid at a rec league soccer tournament where everyone gets a trophy. But I think it’s official now that this came in the mail …

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I Lost But Still Won

That’s the problem with today’s world. I come in 4th place, but I still am considered a winner. It looks like my Third Runner Up finish is good enough to claim to be elected.

I may have been able to do better, but I think I lost some votes during the swimsuit portion of the election.

This is an unexpected win for me, and I know my opponents did not expect it. They were appalled that anyone dare run against them. They make me think of this line I like from Patrick Kane of the Chicago Black Hawks.

To those who may think I don’t deserve to win, am not qualified, didn’t campaign fairly, or maybe even rigged the election, all I can say is, “That’s democracy, baby!”

Election Drive

With my local election just 5 days away, I’m pulling out all the stops to gain votes. I added this to my car’s rear window …

I think it may be too subtle. If we learned anything from Trump supporters, it was to go big or go home. Personally, I always hoped they’d go home and stay home. If mine wasn’t a leased vehicle, I would be inclined to go all in with something like this …

Of course, with the Flanigan name rather than Trump on it. But I can’t afford to own a nice truck like that. This would likely be about the best I could pay for …

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Who’s Hiding My Pillow (Guy)?

Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy and rabid Trump supporter, has apparently gone into hiding. He claims it is because of threats on his life. Methinks he is more likely hiding from process servers who have Dominion Voting Systems lawsuit papers for him.

If you have the stomach to recall, Lindell promised time after time to blow the lid off the 2020 election fraud and implicate Dominion Voting Systems. Except … he never did. He had lots of opportunities. He even made a movie about the election rigging. Except … the movie didn’t prove anything. It was full of spurious claims that Lindell swore he could prove. Except … he never did.

So, now he is keeping a low profile. Dominion had to hire a private investigator to locate crackpot attorney Sidney Powell to serve her with the lawsuit papers. Maybe they will have to do the same with Lindell.

Well, I’m down with Lindell hiding. It would be a feather in his cap to evade process servers that may blanket the area looking for him. I can’t play the role of comforter to him as I don’t like that he’s still in bed with Trump and that he continues to insist there was an election cover-up. That just foaments hate and unrest. It sounds like a bunch of sheet to me. And one last thing about pillows …

Too Much of a Bad Thing

I’ve really tried recently to back away from all things Trump. He lost. He will most likely be prosecuted by someone, somewhere after he leaves the White House. Joe Biden will be the next President of the USA as of January 20th. After four years of Trump’s nonsensical, destructive alternative-reality, I’m sick of hearing from and about him. So, I’ve been staying away from cable news and Twitter. However, my wife tells me that Trump won’t leave and insists he didn’t lose and still plans to be living in the White House after January 20th. I wonder how he’ll like sharing the White House with the Biden’s large German Shepherds.

I hear that dogs love Trump …

And speaking of dogs, what or who do you see in this dog’s ear?

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Vote for … Me?

I had to go and open my big mouth at the last Zoom meeting of the St. Charles Township Democrats and ask about whether we were fielding candidates for any St. Charles Township positions in the Spring election. Before I could say “the election is rigged,” I was drafted as a candidate. I figured that there was no way I would actually run since I couldn’t imagine getting the 240 signatures needed to qualify for the ballot. First, global pandemic. Nobody wants to answer their door. Next, it’s cold out. Finally, I’m lazy. As it was, I got about a third. The rest were gotten for me. Gulp. Looks like I’ll be a candidate for St. Charles Township Trustee on April 6, 2021.

I was a bit nervous about revealing my “professional” alias on my Statement of Candidacy below …

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Take a Walk

It was an odd Thanksgiving Day yesterday with 3 of our 5 kids staying remote due to COVID concerns. We did a Zoom meeting with the remote kids, which seemed more normal than I expected. But before that, I took a walk with Lola the dog to the neighborhood creek.

She loved it. I liked it. I would have loved it had she not pooped 3 times on the walk. How is that even possible? It’s not like she was eating along the way. Well, we had a mostly enjoyable walk, minus the ubiquitous pooping, and I was bemused seeing these trees along the way to the creek …

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Help Yourself

In the days leading up to the election, I didn’t do much self-care. Throw Halloween in the mix, and I was subsisting on chocolate and anxiety for over a week. I was just a bit on edge. When I lost a 7 team college football parlay because the overwhelmingly prohibitive favorite Penn State that I knew would win actually lost badly, this was the result …

I loved that hot tub, but the heater was shot and we can’t sell our house with a 20 year old hot or cold tub sitting out back. I can’t stay mad too much longer at Penn State, because Pennsylvania actually delivered the election victory to Joe Biden. Anyway, that demolition was a good way to help myself alleviate stress, which I needed since there was even more stress to come.

As the cherry on top, my dear friend and brother from another mother was diagnosed with colon cancer which he WILL easily beat if he knows what’s good for him. Okay, that didn’t make sense, but he’ll know what I mean.

With the election over and democracy having won, a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can’t make my friend’s cancer disappear, but I can get checked myself. You see, I have also been lax about a colonoscopy. I am way overdue. Fortunately, our healthcare provider just coincidentally emailed me about getting a colon cancer check by mail for FREE. I immediately signed up, and received the stool sample kit this past weekend. However, there was a problem with the collection vial they sent me …

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Songs for a Day of Counting Votes

As the election vote-counting drags on, I think we all would benefit from some relevant music to get through today. I know I need some. I still find myself openly weeping at times during the day, but as news for Biden has improved, I have made some progress. I no longer cry blood.

So, here are some songs that you may like. Let’s start off with a rollicking good tune about vote-counting in the Southeast. What city can help Biden pull off a surprise state flip? This one …

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