A Weight Has Been Lifted

My life has been decidedly different the past two months. Sure, the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s holidays have played a role in changing my life as I have been selling my blood plasma weekly in order to pay for holiday entertaining and presents. Do you know how hard it is to type when you’re woozy from being a pint low? But that’s not the real change. I’m talking about shedding a weight that has rested heavy on my shoulders the past two years. I know, I know, I should also shed some weight around my mid-section. But that weight on my shoulders was formidable, and now it is almost completely gone, lifting itself from my shoulders pound by pound daily over the past two months. And it has definitely changed this blog. Thank God something has. I’ll explain.

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Fantasy Domination

If you are reading this blog post while wearing a ball gag and handcuffs, I am sorry to tell you that you have been misled by the title. I am talking about fantasy football domination in my family league like this …

Fantasy Domination.jpg

Can I get a booyah for a shutout?

booyah

Thank you. I don’t know which one of my Trump-loving relatives runs that Bye team (and what a terrible name for a fantasy football team with no logo whatsoever), but that team sucks. They scored nothing against me last week. Total fantasy domination.

But that was last week, and I only have a couple more weeks left in the season to tweak the Trump-lovers in my family fantasy football league with clever team names and logos like last week’s Collusionistas.

GOP shirt

I wanted to hammer (and sickle) the Russian connection more, so here is my new team logo …

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Stoned Fantasy

My Tired Winners family fantasy football team got back to its losing ways last weekend. Whew! The pressure of winning was unbearable and exhausting. I was loathe to abandon my Tired Winners logo. It suited me so well, at least the tired part.

Tired of Winning

But it was time to move on and a new target has recently emerged in the Russian investigation concerning Trump world. That target is GOP dirty trickster and former Trump adviser Roger Stone. To me, a logical team name appeared to be the Stoned Pinheads with one of these pics as a logo.

But I did not want to disparage pinheads, so I discarded the pinhead concept and considered this Roger Stone pic for inspiration.

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Steve Bannon’s Halloween Nightmare

It wasn’t too long ago that former Trump adviser Steve Bannon had thoughts of using his lofty position in the Trump Administration as a possible jumping off spot for a future run at the presidency. He did have the ear of the most powerful and moronic man in the world, Donald Trump.

US-POLITICS-TRUMP-STAFF

 

And then, just like that, Bannon was gone from the Trump Administration. And last night, on All Hallows’ Eve Eve, Steve Bannon found himself facing his worst Halloween nightmare here …

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Meet Jeff Fortenberry *stifled chuckle*

Jeff Fortenberry is a member of the House of Representatives from the state of Nebraska. And he’s got a funny name. You know how you want to say his last name. Go ahead, say it. I know you just said it. It is funny, isn’t it? But you know what’s not funny? Violence and vandalism. See Jeff’s tweet below.

fartenberry tweet crop

Except, when it looks like this …

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A Picture is Worth 120 Indictments

As seen on 60 Minutes, now hanging in the White House is this …

Republican Prez Pic

I guess they were out of the picture of dogs playing poker.

I really do think it is magnanimous of Donald Trump to display a painting of Alec Baldwin’s characterization of Trump. I mean, that can’t possibly be Trump, unless he has hidden about 60 pounds of flab behind him. Maybe that’s what his right arm is holding. If that is the case, poor Gerald Ford.

That picture represents 120 indictments and 89 prison sentences. I don’t expect that number to grow. Oh, you seem surprised. I mean, I don’t think Alec Baldwin or his people are going to get into enough trouble to generate indictments.

 

Well, Now What?

Now that Bart O’Kavanaugh has been confirmed to the US Supreme Court, I think we have learned a few things.

First, Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski deserves some respect. She listened to her constituents, and voted in a way to represent their wishes. I hear that useless bag of creepy skin filled with idiocy and oozing out word jumbles known as Sarah Palin is threatening to primary Murkowski in 2020. Newsflash! Murkowski was already primaried in the last Senate election in 2010 by her beloved Republican party, and she still won the general election as a freakin’ write-in candidate. Do you know how hard it is to spell Murkowski?

Q: What Democrat looks like a Republican, talks like a Republican, and votes like a Republican?

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Invisible Glasses

I am still scratching my head trying to figure out how all the Republican senators on the Judiciary Committee can turn their back on non-investigated sexual assault charges and vote to pass along SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh for a full Senate vote. Maybe it is because of the invisible glasses that Orrin Hatch wears that allows him to see the truth that we cannot see.

Hatch glasses.gif

Maybe it is because Lindsey Graham can’t imagine sexually assaulting a female. I wonder what kind of kompromat the Russians are holding over Graham’s head that have made him take such a 180 degree turn and become such a Trump toadie. Just look at the change …

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Moore or Less?

If you haven’t been paying attention, Democrats are absolutely giddy over the latest accusations of child molestation that have been levied against Bible-thumping, Ten Commandments-loving, homosexual-hating Republican Senate candidate for Alabama Roy Moore. In case you have been watching Fox News where the top story is that Hillary Clinton is now selling the USA’s uranium out of the trunk of her car, here is a link to the Washington Post story  that broke the news get you up to speed.

Some Democrats think that this will lead to a Senate victory in a couple weeks for Democratic Senate candidate Doug Jones in the special Alabama election. To those Democrats, I would say …

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Shutdown is Shot Down

I’m a little disappointed that Congress has voted to avert a government shutdown for at least another week. I’ve loathed watching how this country has dysfunctionally lurched and lumbered through the first 100 days of Trump’s administration and a Republican Congress, so I was eager to see if the absence of government would maybe make America great again. Alas, we’ll have to wait another week. Oh well, at least Trump was able to finally pass one major piece of legislation … keeping the government funded for one more week. Congrats! Not quite FDR’s New Deal, but the biggest legislative win for Trump to date. Yay?

Repeal Appeal

Republican lawmakers are having some second thoughts about the bill they are constructing to repeal Obamacare, formally known as the Affordable Care Act that provides health care insurance at reasonable, subsidized rates, irrespective of pre-existing conditions to almost 30 million Americans.

They know that repealing Obamacare will leave these almost 30 million Americans without health insurance, and that will likely result in serious illness and probably deaths for many Americans.

But that is not what is troubling Republican lawmakers.

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Trump FIRST

Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump rolled out his FIRST plan today. FIRST stands for Fix It Right Says Trump, and is meant to be a team-focused attempt to address America’s problems with teams being led by experts on those issues.

Donald Trump himself heads the America FIRST team, and has started making appointments to head his various FIRST teams that will tackle and fix America’s problems.

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Trumpnado

I saw this list of guest celebrity cameos in “Sharknado, The Fourth Awakens.”

  • Gary Busey
  • Tommy Davidson (“In Living Color”)
  • T’Keyah Crystal Keymah (“In Living Color”)
  • Imani Hakim (“Everybody Hates Chris”)
  • Masiela Lusha (“George Lopez”)
  • Cynthia Bailey (“Real Housewives of Atlanta”)
  • Erika Girardi (“Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”)
  • Robert Herjavec (“Shark Tank”)
  • Lori Greiner “(Shark Tank”)
  • Kym Johnson (“Dancing With the Stars”)
  • Carrie Keagan (TV host)
  • Gena Lee Nolin (“Baywatch”)
  • Alexandra Paul (“Baywatch”)
  • Benjy Bronk (“The Howard Stern Show”)
  • Duane Chapman (“Dog the Bounty Hunter”)
  • Stacey Dash (“Clueless”)
  • David Faustino (“Married With Children”)
  • Frank Mir (MMA fighter)
  • Roy Nelson (MMA fighter)
  • Seth Rollins (WWE star)
  • Vince Neil (Motley Crue)
  • Wayne Newton
  • Todd Chrisley (Chrisley Knows Best”)
  • Savannah Chrisley (Chrisley Knows Best”)
  • Grayson Chrisley (Chrisley Knows Best”)
  • Dr. Drew Pinsky (“Loveline” host)
  • Patti Stanger (“Millionaire Matchmaker”)
  • Corey Taylor (Slipknot)
  • Andre “Black Nerd” Meadows (YouTube star)
  • DeStorm Power (YouTube star)
  • iJustine (YouTube star)
  • Paul Shaffer (“The Late Show”)
  • Carrot Top (comedian)
  • Chippendales dancers
  • Dolvett Quince (“The Biggest Loser”)
  • Gilbert Gottfried (comedian)
  • Hayley Hasselhoff (“Fearless”)
  • Taylor-Ann Hasselhoff (“Rich Kids Of Beverly Hills)
  • Stassi Schroeder (“Vanderpump Rules”)
  • Jax Taylor (“Vanderpump Rules”)
  • Steve Guttenberg (“Police Academy”)
  • Al Roker (“Today Show”)
  • Natalie Morales (“Today Show”)
  • Jedward (music group)
  • Jay DeMarcus (Rascal Flatts)

Before I knew the list was from the latest Sharknado movie, I thought it may have been a list of the speakers from the Republican National Convention.

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Admiring the Admiral

Retired Admiral John Hutson said about Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump at the Democratic National Convention, “Donald, you’re not fit to polish John McCain’s boots.” Of course, this was a complete red herring as we all know that John McCain prefers loafers (see Sarah Palin as former running mate).

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Trump rescues bloggers, but at what cost?

The Democratic National Convention got off to a rocky start as Bernie Sanders believers appeared ready to take the Jonestown route rather than endorse Hillary Clinton. But the Democratic convention soon settled into thoughtful, rational, stirring speeches presented by prestigious politicians, everyday people, and A-list celebrities not named Scott Baio. What is a political blogger to write about?

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Upstaging the Elephants

The time is nigh for the Democrats to show that a national nominating convention can be substantive and offer clear plans for the country, and not be a thinly-disguised WWE backstory of the feud between Terrible Trump and Killer Cruz. But I think if the Dems want to try and sway some on-the-fence Trump backers to vote Democratic, here are some suggestions to add a little pizzazz to their convention.

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Plagiargate Update: Melania Plagiarism Scandal Broadens

While it appears that Melania Trump’s speech last night at the Republican National Convention did include similar words and thoughts that Michelle Obama’s 2008 speech used, that likely unintended cribbing could have and should have been easily explained away. Instead, the Plagiargate scandal has now just widened.

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Conscience Clause in RNC Delegates Future?

The anti-Trump movement growing from within the RNC delegates is pushing to add a “conscience clause” to the convention rules to allow delegates to vote for the candidate that best aligns with their conscience, presumably not Donald Trump. Even if such a “conscience clause” is introduced at the Republican convention, the strategy will simply not work.

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Troy Story

Donald Trump has been making “birther” claims this whole campaign that Ted Cruz is not a natural born citizen and not eligible to be elected President. Well, he was born in Canada, eh? I am not prepared to go into a Constitutional interpretation here as both Cruz and Trump weave in and out of the Constitution whenever it suits their needs. My point is that after losing to Cruz in the Wisconsin Republican primary election, Trump has completely confused his birther argument against Cruz along with his followers.

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Trump Threatens Cruz’s Wife

It seems completely normal to hear that Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump is threatening Ted Cruz, but now the wives are involved, the gloves are off and food may be spilled.

After an anti-Trump PAC tweeted out revealing pictures of Melania Trump from a GQ photoshoot, husband Donald came to her aid and threatened via twitter to “spill the beans” on Heidi Cruz. He didn’t provide more details about what dirt he was planning to dish on Heidi. I hope it is not the police report from 11 years ago that indicated she was having some mental health incident. Yawn. I mean, she MARRIED Ted Cruz. I think anyone would have mental health challenges being married to that creepy guy.

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Marco? Rubio! Marco? Rubio!

In honor of Marco Rubio’s crashing and burning presidential campaign, I suggest the kid’s swimming pool game of tag formerly known as Marco Polo now be called Marco Rubio. That’s about the only thing that will ever be named after him as it is becoming clear that there will never be a Marco Rubio Presidential Library. Consider this …

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Best. Reality. TV. Ever. Except …

Wow, the series of 10 Republican Presidential debates taken together has been the best reality television series ever. Despite the lack of substantive discussions or facts, there was drama, comedy and conflict, exactly what you want from reality TV. Each debate saw candidates get “voted off” the main debate by how they polled with us, the general public. We even saw some “get rescued” from the junior debate and get back to the main stage when their poll numbers rose, again thanks to us. But there is just one problem.

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Trump Continues Insult Onslaught Undeterred

Republican presidential primary front-running candidate Donald Trump continues his campaign of insults without apologies. This highly unusual strategy was initially thought to be sure to backfire and be short-lived, pandering only to the lowest stratum of US society. However, that has not appeared to be the case, and Trump continues his insulting barrage against individuals and groups. Continue reading

Fox Business Network Promises Smoother Republican Debate

Republican presidential hopefuls should feel more comfortable with the next debate hosted by conservative-friendly Fox Business Network. The last debate hosted by CNBC featured significant squabbling between the candidates and liberal-media moderators with plenty of perceived “gotcha” questions. Fox Business promises a smoother format that will permit the candidates more opportunity to present their campaign platforms without interference from partisan moderators. Continue reading