Greek Geek Gawk

I am sad to say that one of my self-acclaimed and sometimes mildly amusing Mite Be Funny cartoons is NOT the all-time most-viewed post on this blog. It is this monstrosity …

It registers well over 3000 views, and that number continues to grow daily. If you search on Google for “maga hat mark of the best,” my post is at the top of page 2. I hesitate to post a link, but if someone is really interested in the original satirical post on Biblical/political (Biblitical?) numerology, click HERE.

In July, I added this post to disavow the original post as UTTER NONSENSE. It didn’t work. I could just kill the original post, but the views alternately entertain and terrify me. And then this comment from a reader arrived …

Continue reading “Greek Geek Gawk”

Buy Bargain Book

The blockbuster novella I published earlier this year called My Parasitic Twin Wants to be President is for sale this weekend for under $1. Use this link to buy a digital copy you can read on a PC, Mac, iPhone, Android phone, or Kindle tablet for just $0.99 … https://tinyurl.com/BuyTwinBook. All proceeds will be donated to local Democratic candidates.

The NY Times Book Review noted, “This is one of the most powerful books of 2020.” They weren’t talking about the book I published, but my book does have reviews. How about this one?

“A witty story that combines humor, satire, and astute observations of our current political reality. Connects the absurd with contemporary issues, providing the reader with an unexpected, humorous, and thought-provoking perspective of modern times. Well written and engaging from cover to cover. Highly recommended!” Who needs the NY Times Book Review when you have a review like that on Amazon?

Now if you don’t intend to purchase, I need to introduce you to the illustrator.

Continue reading “Buy Bargain Book”

War with Iran has weighed heavy on my mind this past week. I think I have figured out how this Iran mess transpired. Here’s my recreation of possible actual, imaginary conversations.

January 2

Advisor: Happy New Year, President Trump. Impeachment chatter will start again soon.

Trump: We need a distraction. What’s the craziest thing I can do in response to pro-Iranian militants storming our embassy in Iraq?

Advisor: Well, the military’s most extreme option, which they only submitted to make the other options look more attractive, is to assasinate Iran’s #2 in command.

Trump: Hmmm, taking out the Iranian Pence. Sounds good. Let’s do that.

Advisor: But, Mr. President …

Trump: My gut tells me that’s right and that I need a Big Mac. It’s go time on both.

January 8

Advisor: Missiles launched by Iran have landed at 2 of our air bases in Iraq.

Trump: Hmmm, Iranians must like their Pence more than America likes ours. More importantly, how do the polls look?

Advisor: Republicans and Democrats polled are united in their opposition to war with Iran.

Trump: Hmmm, let’s take a look at that sanctions thingy.

Elf on the Shelf to Unionize – Repost with New Content

Work is surprisingly busy this time of the year when I thought business would be winding down a bit. That is actually good since my income is directly linked to my sales, and I just got a peek at my wife’s credit card bill with all the Christmas gift charges on it. I’m swooning just thinking about it. My charge card is also filled with holiday gift charges, but mostly from the Dollar Store so the total hasn’t hit triple digits yet. The bottom line is that I don’t seem to have much time to generate clever posts. I know, you’re asking yourself, “What’s his excuse for the rest of the year?”

Anyway, it seems like a good time to dust off an old Elf on the Shelf post from 4 years ago that continues to get a lot of views around Christmas. Our youngest child is now past the Elf on the Shelf stage, so that frees up some of my time at night that previously had me occupied finding clever hiding spots for Holly, my daughter’s Elf. I still regret perching Holly on the toilet that one time.

elf toilet.jpg

 

I wish my son had paid more attention before peeing in the middle of the night. No big deal. A couple flushes and Holly was rinsed nicely.

Anyway, here’s the original Elf on the Shelf post from 2015 (with some punctuation corrections) …

The popular elves from The Elf on the Shelf fame have had it with working conditions and are organizing a union. Continue reading “Elf on the Shelf to Unionize – Repost with New Content”

My Parasitic Twin Wants to be President – Chapter Two – The Debates

Well, after publishing excerpts from chapter one, nobody stepped up and told me to stop writing this nonsense. You only have yourselves to blame for the following excerpts from the campaign diary called My Parasitic Twin Wants to be President.

Continue reading “My Parasitic Twin Wants to be President – Chapter Two – The Debates”

Alabama – Come for the Rape & Stay for the Incest

With the signing of their landmark anti-abortion bill into law, Alabama legislators are reaching out to an often overlooked demographic … male sexual predators who want a family. Alabama’s new anti-abortion law makes no exception in cases of rape or incest, so Alabama has instantly become a desirable destination for sexual predators looking to start a family.

Alabama State Senator Cletus “Skeeter” Fairborn, who voted ‘yes’ on the new law, explained his vote, “Look, Alabama is losing population for some reason. We got to get us some new citizens. Sexual predators are not welcome most places, but here in Alabama we love Judge Roy Moore. He’s a great role model of a sexual predator who has been able to lead a successful life in Alabama. Alabama would be lucky to have more people like Roy Moore moving into the state. Roll Tide!”

Alabama’s new law includes an amendment that provides a financial incentive of $1000 per household for each relative that the household entices to move to Alabama, as long as the relative is a convicted sexual predator, or willing to learn through taking state-approved classes. Skeeter continued, “Family life is real important to us here in Alabama, and what better way is there to expand our families than from healthy breeding stock within our own families?”

When asked to comment on why she didn’t veto the bill that takes control over women’s bodies away from women, Governor Kay Ivey explained, “I’m a woman. I have no control over what my body does.”

She certainly does not any longer.

Is Trump Right About Fake News?

I’m confused, which everyone who has ever read this blog already knows. I think Donald Trump is correct when he complains about ‘Fake News.’ I am starting to believe it exists.

Take this video from Judge Jeanine Pirro from Fox News on Michael Flynn. You may want to skip to the very end where Pirro suggests that Judge Sullivan could throw out Flynn’s guilty plea.

Did you watch the whole video? Did you throw up in your mouth just a bit in parts like I did? Understandable. This “judge throws out Flynn’s guilty plea due to FBI wrongdoing” narrative had been pushed by Fox News and White House talking heads for a while. Instead, Judge Emmet Sullivan, a Reagan appointee, excoriated Flynn in a blistering diatribe to the point of dropping the treason bomb as a possible additional charge. Oops.

And what about the Clinton Foundation?

Continue reading “Is Trump Right About Fake News?”