Twoday

I received a text from my youngest daughter’s school reminding everyone that today is actually twoday. You know, 2-22-22 in the US and 22-2-22 in the rest of the world. I much prefer the symmetry of 22-2-22 and love those even numbers, despite 2 being prime. Thanks, OCD! I will not much like 55-5-55 assuming my kids preserve my brain for reanimation at some point in 2055 and that May has expanded to 55 days by then through an invasion and annexation of part of April.

Anyway, the school is encouraging students to dress with a 2 theme today. You know, 2 socks, 2 shoes, or limiting them to 2 facial piercings & visible tattoos. I think my daughter is planning to wear one of my toupees, or I should say twopees, twoday.

As for me, I have big plans.

I will be using 2 legs to walk. No more hopping around on 1 leg for me.

I also plan on swinging my 2 arms when I walk, unlike “normal.”

With my daughter wearing my toupee/twopee twoday, I will be carefully combing both of my 2 hairs on top of my head.

And speaking of my daughter, I plan to spend time with both of my 2 youngest daughters twoday, the one that attends school and her evil twin who is tastefully restrained for her comfort and safety in our attic. And as for my fancy school-learnin’ daughter, she has once again left the house for school with a top that is two short for my peace of mind, but that seems to be an everyday occurrence, not just on twoday.

I plan to brush all 2 of my teeth today, both the upper and lower.

And I’m doing the best I can to refrain from using the bathroom this morning until I can do a number 2. I know, I went two far with that one, all in keeping with the spirit and celebration of twoday.

So, have a Happy Twoday twoday on Twosday.