My Emmy Dreams are Fading Fast

I had plans to revive my television career and win an Emmy in 2022, but those plans took a hit this past weekend. Oh, did I bury the lead that I previously had a career in television? I had a supporting role on the game show Shop ’til You Drop. I was on a business trip to California many years ago, went to watch a Shop ’til You Drop taping in Hollywood, and was plucked out from among the rabble in the studio audience to play a supporting role on that episode. I got to wear a colorful clown wig saturated with shampoo that contestants smelled in an effort to guess the brand of shampoo. I wore the wig well, bringing a never before seen regal dignity to the role and fully expected an Emmy nomination for my performance. Sadly, it never came. Probably due to the Irish prejudice rife in Hollywood in those days as evidenced by this Itchy & Scratchy cartoon from that era.

After hanging around the studio’s back alley entrance for a few weeks unsuccessfully waiting to be discovered after my breakout role, I grudgingly left Sin City to return to my career as the Sales & Marketing Manager for a Midwestern temperature sensor manufacturer. Yawn. It was difficult after having tasted the forbidden fruit growing on the seamy underbelly of Hollywood. Oh, wait, scratch that. I forgot, my wife sometimes reads this mess.

Anyhoo, I fully expected that my television career was about to be resurrected this past weekend after seeing this in the local paper.

Yep, Netflix was coming to town with actor Michael Fassbender to film the series The Killing. Note to the local newspaper, italicize the names of TV series and only put quotes around the titles of specific episodes. Regardless, this is pretty big news for an area where this showed up today in my local news feed.

Wait, did he fall off a roof or out of a helicopter? Didn’t they have a stock pic of a roof handy? Just noticed the caption also works as “Injured man breaking after falling …”

Despite my town being home to model/actress/anti-vaxxer Jenny McCarthy and husband Donnie Wahlberg, formerly a New Kid on the Block but now an Old Man on the Block, having celebrities come to town to film locally is kind of a big deal. I signed up for a website where you can apply to be extras in movies and television. I saw The Killing needed extras when they filmed other places, so I figured they would need them here. Nope. Nothing. Maybe they don’t need extras for these scenes they are filming, but I think I know the real reason … Hollywood pretty boy actor Michael Fassbender.

He probably got wind of my interest in a role as an extra in The Killing, and I am sure he knows of my previous work on Shop ’til You Drop. I suspect he was afraid that my extraordinary extra work would steal scenes from him, so he probably arranged to import any extras needed rather than risk recruiting locals that might include me.

Well, the joke might be on Fassbender after all. I heard they were going to film the St. Patrick’s Day parade for use in the show, and you can guess who was marching in it with the St. Charles Democrats. I’m the one in the pic with shamrock antennae just behind US House Representative Bill Foster with the green scarf.

I don’t recall seeing the parade being filmed, but I also don’t recall seeing it not being filmed. I was focused on auditioning for a bigger role that day … that of a democracy-loving patriot. Hollywood and my fans may have to wait for my return to the screen just a bit longer, but return I will someday, or maybe I won’t. It’s one of those two. But if I do return, can an Emmy or Oscar be far behind? Yeah, probably.

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