Another Edition of … Am I a Bad Guy?

Tonight I start what I hope will be a series of blood plasma donations. Blood plasma is critically needed to create medicines to treat rare, genetic, and chronic diseases. I first heard about it through my brother-in-law who donates. Of course, he’s also donated one of his kidneys. Show-off. Anyway, here’s an overview if you are interested.

I am fine with all that, but one thing troubles me. I want to specify that my blood plasma only be used to treat Democrats and Independents. Definitely NOT to be used to help Republicans. Am I a bad guy?

My Emmy Dreams are Fading Fast

I had plans to revive my television career and win an Emmy in 2022, but those plans took a hit this past weekend. Oh, did I bury the lead that I previously had a career in television? I had a supporting role on the game show Shop ’til You Drop. I was on a business trip to California many years ago, went to watch a Shop ’til You Drop taping in Hollywood, and was plucked out from among the rabble in the studio audience to play a supporting role on that episode. I got to wear a colorful clown wig saturated with shampoo that contestants smelled in an effort to guess the brand of shampoo. I wore the wig well, bringing a never before seen regal dignity to the role and fully expected an Emmy nomination for my performance. Sadly, it never came. Probably due to the Irish prejudice rife in Hollywood in those days as evidenced by this Itchy & Scratchy cartoon from that era.

After hanging around the studio’s back alley entrance for a few weeks unsuccessfully waiting to be discovered after my breakout role, I grudgingly left Sin City to return to my career as the Sales & Marketing Manager for a Midwestern temperature sensor manufacturer. Yawn. It was difficult after having tasted the forbidden fruit growing on the seamy underbelly of Hollywood. Oh, wait, scratch that. I forgot, my wife sometimes reads this mess.

Anyhoo, I fully expected that my television career was about to be resurrected this past weekend after seeing this in the local paper.

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Too Much of a Bad Thing

I’ve really tried recently to back away from all things Trump. He lost. He will most likely be prosecuted by someone, somewhere after he leaves the White House. Joe Biden will be the next President of the USA as of January 20th. After four years of Trump’s nonsensical, destructive alternative-reality, I’m sick of hearing from and about him. So, I’ve been staying away from cable news and Twitter. However, my wife tells me that Trump won’t leave and insists he didn’t lose and still plans to be living in the White House after January 20th. I wonder how he’ll like sharing the White House with the Biden’s large German Shepherds.

I hear that dogs love Trump …

And speaking of dogs, what or who do you see in this dog’s ear?

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Slow Down

I needed a break this morning. I have been cycling hard every morning to get in shape so I can deliver to my precinct via bike the Democratic voting guides once they get printed. Democratic leadership wanted to wait to print the guides until after Biden picked a VP. They really could have printed them months earlier. The ticket could have been Biden & ‘A Bit of Moss on the Side of a Tree in the Depths of a Forest’ and Democrats would still have voted for him. I do like the addition of Senator Kamala Harris as VP. Speaking of addition, I think Biden + Harris = 93. See what I did there?

Back to cycling, I felt I needed a day off. I decided to take a shorter, slower cycle to check on a blackberry patch that should have been just about spent. It was, although by slowing down I was able to spot a few stragglers that I picked for the freezer. It’s been a good berry-picking season.

I cycled a bit further and came upon a field of these beauties …

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Why Do Republicans Support Trump? Mystery Solved!

Why Republicans support Trump has confounded me over the past 4 years. Seemingly intelligent family and friends blindly follow Trump regardless of what idiocy he spouts or does. It is truly bewildering. But I’ve finally solved the mystery, thanks to Facebook.

I noticed this Facebook challenge that one of my Facebook friends did.

Triangle D

That Facebook friend is a staunch Democrat, hence the blue D. Okay, I’ll admit it. 24 is not the correct answer. There are 18 triangles. How can I be sure? I used to be a math major in college, I’m an annoying smarty-pants, and in my spare time, I enjoy looking at brightly colored geometric shapes for hours on end. 18 is the correct answer.

Now take a look at how a loyal Republican answered.

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My Parasitic Twin Wants to be President

The long-dreaded novella is finally released. I have teased it on this blog before with excerpts. Despite all the warnings and pleadings from my psychiatrist, adviser, priest, therapist, mentor, rabbi, psychologist, consultant, minister, counselor, guru, internet stalker(s), pastor, life coach, wife and kids, I decided to publish anyway. Why would they protest? If the title doesn’t tip you off, maybe the book cover will.

Cover Final

You can purchase here … https://tinyurl.com/BuyTwinBook. Just 3 bucks! If you are outside the USA, try your local Amazon site and search for “parasitic twin.” All you need is an Amazon account. You can download this digital novella to your phone, computer, tablet, or Wang word processor.

ALL proceeds will be donated to worthy candidates and causes in advance of the 2020 election.  In other words, Democrats. You will be donating over 2 bucks (our royalty from Amazon after Jeff Bezos takes his cut) to excellent causes.

For more background on Ray & Gary Czyzylck, visit www.elect-ray.webnode.com.  If you want, you can email Ray at rayczylzyck@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @czylzyck.

WARNING: This novella promises to be unlike anything you have ever read. Keep medical supplies close by when you read it just in case your sides split from laughing too hard.

Buy this book. Ray and Gary are waiting patiently. Come on. Stop reading and order. There are no more jokes in this post. Order now.

 

 

 

 

 

Winnowing the Candidates – Summer Vacation Edition

So far, we have made progress in winnowing the candidates. Here’s who we have winnowed so far:

  • Bernie Sanders
  • Tulsi Gabbard
  • John Delaney
  • Seth Moulton
  • Tim Ryan
  • Mike Gravel
  • John Hickenlooper
  • Wayne Messam
  • Andrew Yang
  • Eric Swalwell

Needs reasons? Just search this blog for winnowing to find all the posts. That leaves us with this field remaining.

Dem Candidates 22 wo swalwell

Except, I wasn’t quite sure who this guy is … Dem unknown

Reverse Google Image Search suggested Dr. Dorociak, a dentist from Sarasota or the deceased Daniel Judd of Gloucester, MA. I wouldn’t doubt that either of them may be running. I narrowed it down to an already-winnowed Tim Ryan or new-to-the-race NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio. Not quite sure, but it won’t matter by the end of this article. Spoiler alert!

Not pictured is former Alaskan Senator and current old man Mike Gravel, responsible for the coolest meme of the 2020 campaign so far.

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Persist to Resist

Well, Attorney General Barr did his job as a Trump lackey appointee and threw cold water on any Special Counsel Robert Mueller findings over the weekend. I think the passage of time will reveal some more positive takeaways, but for now, what do we do? This?

Belushi drinking

Okay, so I did a little of that myself on Sunday. The Mueller investigation was not the end game. It has spun off so many other investigations that will continue on. I also have a feeling that when House Democrats get their hands on the full Mueller report, maybe Trump will start to once again look a bit more collusiony and obstructiony when all the details are revealed.

So put down the bottle and ask yourself …

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Trump’s Dirty Laundry Super Gif Special Edition

The New York Times has certainly made a splash as they have exposed bare the Trump family’s tax fraud and money laundering through the decades. I am primarily familiar with money laundering thanks to the great TV series Breaking Bad.

Breaking Bad Costner

That’s a coincidence. I have an aunt who many years ago used to swear I looked just like Nicholas Cage. Let’s just say Cage has aged better since then thanks to a better trainer, better cosmetician, better tailor, better hairpiece (I use a scrap I cut out from an old burlap sack), and fewer kids. But that’s a story for another blog. Let’s get back to the Trump crime family and money laundering.

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