It’s March, so it was time to march today in our town’s St. Patrick’s Day parade. I was supposed to ride in the back of a snowplow with other St. Charles Township elected officials, but with snow in the forecast, the township canceled so that all snowplows would be ready for snow removal. That’s actually very responsible but no fun. Instead, I marched with fellow Kane County and St. Charles Township Democrats.
The group of Democrats marching has grown quite a bit over the years. This year we had 2 US House representatives, an Illinois House representative, various Kane County elected officials and board membes, and me as the sole elected township official. In addition, we had Democrat candidates for our upcoming municipal election in April and many other local Dems. We’re kind of a big deal now.
Can you see me in the back holding the “Be The Change! Vote Democrat” sign? Barely, right? Why did I get stuck in the back? Well, I am tall, and I also looked ridiculous. See for yourself …
I had plans to revive my television career and win an Emmy in 2022, but those plans took a hit this past weekend. Oh, did I bury the lead that I previously had a career in television? I had a supporting role on the game show Shop ’til You Drop. I was on a business trip to California many years ago, went to watch a Shop ’til You Drop taping in Hollywood, and was plucked out from among the rabble in the studio audience to play a supporting role on that episode. I got to wear a colorful clown wig saturated with shampoo that contestants smelled in an effort to guess the brand of shampoo. I wore the wig well, bringing a never before seen regal dignity to the role and fully expected an Emmy nomination for my performance. Sadly, it never came. Probably due to the Irish prejudice rife in Hollywood in those days as evidenced by this Itchy & Scratchy cartoon from that era.
After hanging around the studio’s back alley entrance for a few weeks unsuccessfully waiting to be discovered after my breakout role, I grudgingly left Sin City to return to my career as the Sales & Marketing Manager for a Midwestern temperature sensor manufacturer. Yawn. It was difficult after having tasted the forbidden fruit growing on the seamy underbelly of Hollywood. Oh, wait, scratch that. I forgot, my wife sometimes reads this mess.
Anyhoo, I fully expected that my television career was about to be resurrected this past weekend after seeing this in the local paper.
I fancy myself an idea person, although I readily admit that most of my ideas are bad. I like to think that I have had so many bad ideas in my life that I have become a pretty good judge of ideas. I’ll give you an example.
Area Democrats are marching in the local St. Patrick’s Day Parade this Saturday. I will be marching with my daughter, unless it is too cold, or rainy, or if she gets a better offer. Then I’ll be proudly walking without my daughter and just with my fellow Democrats, flipping off anyone in the crowd with a MAGA hat on. Just kidding. I wouldn’t do that. But a MAGA-hatted parade watcher was flipping off Democrats in the last parade I marched in. Those MAGAts are class acts.
Anyway, a fellow Democrat offered the following ideas for the parade via email …
I stumbled out of bed early yesterday and looked for my weapon. Yes, I was headed to war. If you don’t know what I am talking about, please read about the Civil War II. But I knew there would be nothing civil about it. I grabbed some grub, printed my map and headed for the battlefield with my weapon of choice …