Goodbye Emmy, Hello Oscar

I’m not sure why my last post was sadder. Was it because I did not get an extra role in the Netflix series filming in my town this past week, or was it because I have a pathetic desire to get on television? Maybe both?

Well, I turned the page and snagged a movie role instead. Could there be an Oscar in my future? Definitely! I think Oscar is the name of the cameraman who will be filming the movie.

So, which movie? Here’s a synopsis.

And did I snag the lead role of old racist George?

Sadly, no. But I will be one of the …

I think I was made for that role. I’ve been ordering my own food in restaurants since 2012. To prepare for the role, I’ve begun practicing possible lines I typically use in restaurants like …

  • Could I get some extra napkins?
  • What’s a fly doing in my soup? (Answer: The backstroke)
  • Can I get an order of escargot as an appetizer, but without the snails?
  • Who’s a guy have to sleep with around here to get a lemon wedge for my water?
  • Hold the mayo.
  • Is there a way I could get a booster seat for my ventriloquist dummy?
  • Is 10% too much to tip if I never got the lemon wedge for my water?
  • Do you have decaf? Caffeine makes me constipated.
  • Check, please!

And the compensation?

Hey, it’s a start. I’m doing it for a reason other than money. And I figure that once the film gets exposure at film festivals, it’ll only be a matter of time before Hollywood comes calling for me. Probably a very long time.

I hope the Hollywood scouts and agents will be able to recognize me after make-up. There was a time in my life when multiple people told me I resembled Nicholas Cage, but those days are long gone. These days the same people are telling me I have a face made for radio. The film’s director who interviewed me via Zoom asked if I was allergic to make-up … lots of make-up … a heavy topcoat of make-up applied with a putty knife. If that happens, at least I hope I get a prosthetic nose, which, by the way, is a good name for a band.

So, why I am really doing this? Well, it sounds like fun to start. Remember having fun before COVID? But my main reason I want to do this is that I am thrilled to be a part of any project with an anti-racism message. The story resonates with me. My mother was against our adopting our first African-American child. It took a while for my mother to adjust to our transracial family that she was unwillingly made part of. She came to love all our children, regardless of color. My hope is the film has a happy ending where racist George also comes to grips with being part of a transracial family and learns to love his biracial granddaughter. As for me, I hope that I’ll be the Restaurant Patron who gets to order a nice slice of cherry pie. Check, please!

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