Hollywood Called But Got My Voicemail

After making my screen debut in 2022 and positively sizzling on the silver screen in such movie roles as bar patron, funeral mourner, and HS social studies teacher, there is no doubt that Hollywood has taken notice of my considerable acting skills and ability to eat an excessive share of the free refreshments set out for the actors and extras. It’s true that I have not yet received a nomination for an Oscar, Golden Globe, or even a People’s Choice Award, as if I would even accept a nomination for that last one. However, I know Hollywood has their eyes on me. How do I know? I received this invitation the other day.

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Merry Christmas on the Twelfth & Final Day of Blogging

Despite not feeling top notch, I caffeinated up and went to the family’s Christmas Eve gathering. While there, I was accused of having an STD (I don’t) by my own immediate family, had my hairline (or lack thereof) analyzed and assailed, and was goaded by my 4 year old great nephew into attempting (successfully) a somersault. So, it was a typical Christmas Eve. At least I didn’t get a black eye as in year’s past.

I did take one step closer to making my mini story “Peach Life” into an animated film. Another great nephew who studies filmmaking (but not animation) at Columbia College in Chicago told me my concept was very doable. And my middle daughter seemed to think she could do it using Tik Tok. I guess I’m adapting my “Peach Life” story into a screenplay next.

And I came up with a really funny joke on Christmas Eve that I wanted to share with you today, but I can’t recall any details of it whatsoever. You’ll have to settle for Merry Christmas from the Flanigan house.

Yesterday Was a Weird Day

I started yesterday with a Wordle that I swore I had solved in 2 … then 3 … then 4 … then 5 … then 6 … then nope.

Was I becoming cognitively impaired, or was it just bad luck guessing? Any regular reader of this blog will choose the former. I even harbored thoughts of it as I got word that yet another of my cousins who is my age now is showing signs of dementia. But I chalked it up to bad luck guessing and got ready to continue my career in the cinema.

No, I wasn’t hired as an usher at the local Megaplex. I had a paying gig as a film extra playing a funeralgoer at Graceland Cemetery. Not Elvis’s final resting place in Graceland in Tennessee as I had originally thought, but Graceland Cemetery in Chicago.

Traffic was light and I made it to the Chicago cemetery faster than Google said I would. I parked and had a distance to walk to the chapel where the filming would take place. That’s when I hitchhiked for the first time in my life.

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Hollywood Comes Calling

After launching my movie career as a hilarious comedy extra in a short film, and following that with a dramatic speaking role in a feature film, Hollywood can’t get enough of me. I recently was invited to read for a lead role in a film using a British accent. I can do a couple phrases in a Cockney accent, but a proper British accent eludes me. Oddly enough, I write in British English. As a couple examples, I always want to add a “u” to words like color, and I tend towards using towards rather than toward. See what I mean? My editor/cousin/godmother pointed those and others out to me as she edits my short stories. Could I be the reincarnation of Charles Dickens?

And I really have not had the time (or British accent) lately to pursue show biz. I’ve been much too busy at work and with the upcoming election. But Hollywood refuses to be denied my talents and continues recruiting me. I received this invitation today.

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Can I Win an Oscar Posthumously?

After my stirring, unpaid, non-speaking (who needs words when one can emote like I do?) rendition of a Restaurant/Bar Patron in the highly-anticipated, expected-blockbuster of a short film titled 32 Degrees, of course the next logical step for me was to get a paid, speaking role in the full length feature film El Frio Silencio, right? By the way, that title is Spanish for The Frio Silencio. Something just wasn’t adding up, but there was the role of Social Studies teacher Mr. Warren being dangled in front of me.

I saw a social media post from the Director that the classroom had already been arranged.

That was indeed the classroom we used for filming with me at the front forgetting my lines. I think we shot this new film in the same school in which the Director’s 2017 film The Wild Cats was filmed when I’ll bet he was a student at that school at that time. Here’s the trailer for his 2017 film The Wild Cats.

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Lights … Camera … Inaction!

After several attempts, I finally made it onto a movie set last night … and I didn’t sneak in. I was there to be filmed and likely turned into a matinee idol and overnight sensation. No, it isn’t a major motion picture. It’s a short comedy film that will undoubtedly net me an Academy Award nomination for Best Background Extra Who Can Barely Be Seen.

Upon arriving on time to the movie set in a Chicago restaurant, I sat for an hour. It turns out that there’s lots of sitting around on movie sets waiting for something, anything to happen. Fortunately, there were plenty of snacks for us extras to gorge on. Sure, we are unpaid extras, but do you have any idea how many bags of fruit snacks I can cram into my pants pockets?

The set looked something like this.

In fact, it looked exactly like that … except when there was a giant 8 foot tall polar bear in the shot. Then it looked more like this.

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Goodbye Emmy, Hello Oscar

I’m not sure why my last post was sadder. Was it because I did not get an extra role in the Netflix series filming in my town this past week, or was it because I have a pathetic desire to get on television? Maybe both?

Well, I turned the page and snagged a movie role instead. Could there be an Oscar in my future? Definitely! I think Oscar is the name of the cameraman who will be filming the movie.

So, which movie? Here’s a synopsis.

And did I snag the lead role of old racist George?

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