I had plans to revive my television career and win an Emmy in 2022, but those plans took a hit this past weekend. Oh, did I bury the lead that I previously had a career in television? I had a supporting role on the game show Shop ’til You Drop. I was on a business trip to California many years ago, went to watch a Shop ’til You Drop taping in Hollywood, and was plucked out from among the rabble in the studio audience to play a supporting role on that episode. I got to wear a colorful clown wig saturated with shampoo that contestants smelled in an effort to guess the brand of shampoo. I wore the wig well, bringing a never before seen regal dignity to the role and fully expected an Emmy nomination for my performance. Sadly, it never came. Probably due to the Irish prejudice rife in Hollywood in those days as evidenced by this Itchy & Scratchy cartoon from that era.
After hanging around the studio’s back alley entrance for a few weeks unsuccessfully waiting to be discovered after my breakout role, I grudgingly left Sin City to return to my career as the Sales & Marketing Manager for a Midwestern temperature sensor manufacturer. Yawn. It was difficult after having tasted the forbidden fruit growing on the seamy underbelly of Hollywood. Oh, wait, scratch that. I forgot, my wife sometimes reads this mess.
Anyhoo, I fully expected that my television career was about to be resurrected this past weekend after seeing this in the local paper.
Now that I discovered that I know someone who has a successful Netflix series, Chicago Party Aunt, I have dusted off some of my old TV show ideas to pitch to Chicago Party Aunt’s creator to then pitch to Netflix. Here’s an idea of what you may see on Netflix in the future, thanks to me.
A dermatologist uses only lit cigarettes to burn unwanted growths off patients. Working title – Lit Zits!
An accupuncturist with a fear of needles uses lit cigarettes instead. Working title – There’s No Point.
Editor’s Note: Enough with the lit cigarettes already.
Think of this as a sequel to All Creatures Great and Small. A veterinarian only euthanizes patients. Working title – All Creatures Dead.
A former game show host becomes President. Oh, never mind on that one. That show was tried and was a complete disaster for four years.
An electrician with overactive sweat glands works in a constant puddle of perspiration. Working title – Shocking!
An airline pilot with narcolepsy only flies around sunrise with a therapy rooster that crows constantly to keep the pilot awake. Working title – Alarm Cock.
A zombie neurosurgeon’s patients all mysteriously die. Working title – Brain Food.
A heroin addict becomes a jockey to support his habit. Working title – Ride the White Horse.
Enjoy your future Netflix viewing, and you’re welcome!
Deep dish pizza is kind of a Chicago thing. Is it healthy? No. It’s a round disk of tomatoes & sauce on top of a glob of melted cheese packed inside of a delicious crust. Add meats and veggies to taste. There is no more delicious crust than Chicago’s own Lou Malnati’s pizza. It took me a couple of pies before it hooked me. Now, no other deep dish pie comes close for my taste because of the Malnati’s crust. Here’s a pic of a Malnati’s slice/complete meal.
But apparently there’s someone in Paris that disagrees about the deliciousness of Malnati’s pizza. Someone named Emily. Lurking about on Netflix. Here’s the headline …