Republican’s Furious Over Justice Scalia’s Death

Republicans had initially been quite upset in the wake of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia dying so inconveniently for them early in an election year. But then they discovered what they thought was a golden nugget that Scalia had left them in his passing.

It was originally reported that Scalia had died with a pillow over his face. Republicans, truthers, and conspiracy theorists were thrilled at the thought of speculating over who smothered Justice Scalia. Obama? Trump? Cruz? (Certain to be overlooked were logical suspects named Natural Causes and Heart Failure.) Crazy conspiracy theories have already been proliferating throughout the conservative media and the internet.

And then, the bombshell dropped. No, President Obama has not confessed. It now has been clarified that Scalia was found with a pillow above his head, between his head and the headboard of the bed. Republican’s are furious at the thought that Justice Scalia may have died peacefully. Oh well, at least there’s still “Obama as the Anti-Christ” theory to keep them occupied and terrified.