I couldn’t come up with a mulch cartoon today, so you get more Twitter funnies. You’re welcome!
Here’s a campaign sign for Trump that I can get behind …
Speaking of getting behind Trump, today he delivered the most cogent tweet he has ever tweeted …
I take back anything bad I wrote about Twitter in this morning’s post. All is forgiven when I see the dictionary apparently trolling Trump on Twitter today.
I officially love Twitter and find it wonderfully exhilarating.
Don’t follow me on Twitter, please, not like any sane person would have any interest in doing that. I use Twitter to keep up on the latest Trump Resistance conspiracy theories and rage against Trump’s nonsensical tweets. I did get a kick out of engaging in some Twitter communication with my all-time favorite DJ just last weekend when he tweeted out that he was featuring music from 1982 on his Saturday morning show.
I think that’s what Twitter was supposed to be. Instead, we get idiotic Trump tweets like these …
The slide to dementia continues as Trump’s tweet stuttering accelerates …
Question … Does Trump know what Google is or does?
The title of this post could apply to this blog from the very first post, but it is especially applicable now. It used to be that readers could count on a post full of drivel from me almost every single day. You may have noticed (and rejoiced) that my posts have become more sporadic and less Trumpy. As for the latter, I am just sick of that saggy skin sack of lies and monkey feces. Sorry, that’s not fair to monkeys.
Wow, touchy. I said I was sorry. Anyway, I just want Trump impeached and voted out in 2020. I find nothing funny about him any longer.
As for the sporadicity (not a word, but a potential album title) of my posts, that’s another story.
Is it crazy that I get worried that Trump hasn’t tweeted in over 18 hours? You know he’s up. You know he’s been watching Fox & Friends. Why no tweets? It makes me worried when he doesn’t tweet, like he is dealing with an actual national security issue. With his dissolving brain, that is cause for concern.
Okay, this is turning into live-blogging. As I type this post, Trump tweeted this …
Ah, that’s better. There is something comforting to me about Trump getting back to tweeting and wasting his time rather than potentially governing. This country is really messed up.
I saw this on Twitter this morning …
What happened in that one minute to change America from having to be made great to being great? Maybe Fox & Friends said something. Maybe nothing. Maybe he is tooting his own horn while still trying to sell more of those MAGA caps. Maybe his brain just continues to melt into dementia.
I saw some 3-5-3 haiku on Twitter regarding Florida House Rep and Trump sycophant Matt Gaetz threatening Michael Cohen via this tweet.
I could not resist trying my hand at some haiku. I came up with a lot of variations on the same theme, but finally settled on this.
Gaetz sends tweet
My life has been decidedly different the past two months. Sure, the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s holidays have played a role in changing my life as I have been selling my blood plasma weekly in order to pay for holiday entertaining and presents. Do you know how hard it is to type when you’re woozy from being a pint low? But that’s not the real change. I’m talking about shedding a weight that has rested heavy on my shoulders the past two years. I know, I know, I should also shed some weight around my mid-section. But that weight on my shoulders was formidable, and now it is almost completely gone, lifting itself from my shoulders pound by pound daily over the past two months. And it has definitely changed this blog. Thank God something has. I’ll explain.
My wife does not use Twitter. My wife does not like Donald Trump. She seemed to me to be the perfect person to try my first Trump Twitter Test.
I refuse to follow Donald Trump on Twitter or anywhere else, but I do check in on him from time to time. I do follow a Donald Trump parody account that amuses me to no end.
So the test I prepared was to present my wife a parody Trump tweet and a real Trump tweet to see if she could identify parody vs. real. Would you like to play, too?
I have prepared the 2 tweets so they present very similarly. Ready? Here’s #1.
I’m not yet very experienced in Twitter. I’m in the process of emerging from my Facebook chrysalis, and my Twitter wings are still wet. So when I saw that it looks like I’m being followed on Twitter by one of the most ruthless mobsters from the most famous crime family in the USA, I was not pleased. I didn’t panic. I didn’t delete all my tweets. I did clean out my 401K, but that was simply to pay a delinquent gas bill. Sorry, but just not a dedicated saver here and the weather is downright cold.
This is the Twitter notification I saw that sent chills through my body, or maybe it was that our gas heat had been shut off for going on 3 days now. Continue reading
I am so thankful for Twitter. Now I know how I want my Christmas lights to look this year …
Doesn’t that arouse inside of you a desire to come and see the climax of my Christmas decorating? But that’s not all the holiday decorating that Twitter has inspired.
Every year I do a Nativity on Ice, but it is always so difficult putting skates on the dog. Who else is going to play the role of the ass in the stable? Don’t answer that. Regardless, instead of a Nativity on Ice this season, thanks to Twitter, I am inspired to do … Continue reading
I have purged my Facebook successfully of all ridiculous, right wing, conspiracy theory posts. I just don’t see them anymore. I now see all sorts of cute kitty and animal videos.
Now there’s a clickbait gif if I ever saw it. I still get new Facebook friend requests daily from people I don’t know, but it is easy enough to delete those.
I thought Twitter would be better than Facebook. Then I see a tweet like this …
A recent blog post from here got some traction on Twitter and garnered hundreds of views for this blog. Maybe it was the picture I used.
Regardless, hundreds of views and ZERO “Likes” on Twitter. Zero as in nothing. Zero as in less than one, and one is the loneliest number. Zero as in zed for our Canadian readers. Take off, eh!
The post took more time than my usual word diarrhea that I hurl at this screen almost daily like feces from my monkey cage that I call my office. I actually gave it a little thought. And yet, it remains wildly unlikable on Twitter and here.
But then I tweeted this innocuous, throwaway, insignificant response to a tweet from someone I follow …
Has it really been 17 years since September 11, 2017? Wow, time flies.
Donald Trump cares. He knows we don’t have as much time as he does to watch television and tweet about what he just saw on Fox and Friends. He is always trying to help us through Twitter. He just helped us again. He knows we may not be able to keep up with all the times he obstructed justice during interviews, press conferences, rallies, statements, and tweets. Just in case we forgot that he has obstructed justice, we are grateful that he dropped this tweet on us …
Several of my children were visiting a few days ago to celebrate one of their birthdays, although I swear that we celebrate more kid birthdays than the number of kids I have. I asked my eldest daughter who is Twitter-savvy about how many Likes or Retweets are needed for a tweet to be considered to have gone viral. She replied, “Thousands.”
The reason I asked is because of this tweet of mine …
It caught me by surprise that 146 people would like this tweet because it is a fairly inconsequential tweeted response to Rep Eric Swalwell of California and the dude who runs MadDog PAC that sells great anti-Trump swag to fund anti-Trump billboards across the country. It is so inconsequential that I have elected not to even show the whole tweet. If you really want to see it, follow me on Twitter @jim_flanigan. I recommend against it.
But then, what really surprised me was this …
I saw this tweet in real time this morning. I couldn’t quite believe what I was reading.
I had no reply to tweet because I was not prepared for Trump Sr. throwing his son under the bus the way he did. Trump Sr. appears to use the “I didn’t do it, but my son did” defense.
I can only speculate on the conversation this tweet generated.
Jr: Oh father, I feel quite uncomfortable with my head resting under the bus tire.
Sr: Don’t worry. They’ll provide you a pillow in prison.
What better time is it to explore the depths of my reportedly absent mind than a rainy day? So without further ado (and further adon’t), I offer you another edition of my Random Thoughts.
My dog is now losing her puppy teeth.
Does that mean a new necklace for my wife is in her future?
This is a perfect example of the reason I gave up trying to do funny, phony Trump tweets …
Hindsight always seems to be 20/20. No, not this kind of hindsight …
I’m talking about looking back and rethinking decisions. For example, take Hawaii, please …
I just love the circular logic in this Trump tweet …
So if we take away people’s food stamps and make participation in the program more difficult, less people use food stamps. Brilliant! I cannot dispute that logical argument that is nothing more than chasing your logical tail. However, I think it is a bit of a reach to say that A (taking away people’s food stamps) resulted in B (more employment). Maybe the last line should read … The American people are finally hungry!
I would prefer to see a similar tweet like this …
Donald Trump is a guy who has repeatedly claimed that he never would divulge his military strategy, I think mainly because he typically doesn’t have one. Now that bombing Syria looks like an option, Trump is only too willing to share that with the world …
I’m going to cut Donald Trump some slack on this tweet from early this morning …
Although I circled 5 errors, I am willing to give the guy a break. He was up early, working hard, tweeting away. Mistakes happen. They just seem to happen everyday, multiple times per day to Trump. Just FYI, although Trump has referred to himself in the third person before, in this tweet he was trying to quote scumbag lawyer Alan Dershowitz. Sorry, alleged scumbag lawyer Alan Dershowitz. To his credit, Trump corrected the tweet. Here is the “corrected” version …
Gulp. I hate when that happens. It is really the worst. I shouldn’t miss it after all these years, but I did. I didn’t see any signs, any hints, any tweets.
This tweet from Trump actually started out good, but then …
Someone woke up grumpy.
We have learned exclusively that Donald Trump will not tweet any defense of his former adviser, George Papadopoulos, who has plead guilty to lying to the FBI, primarily because he can’t spell Papadopoulos.
I took a walk yesterday for exercise. It was cold, dreary, overcast and at times, snowing hard. For someone with SAD, it was a very difficult walk. I’m not talking about being sad. I’m talking about Seasonal Affective Disorder, when the lack of sunlight in fall & winter causes my body to crash and my lightbox becomes my best friend, somewhat like this …
Donald Trump is finally paying some attention to the victims of the hurricanes that devastated Puerto Rico. He sent out this series of tweets explaining their plight …
Is Trump saying this is a bad thing or is he showing Republicans how to get re-elected?
I want to extend my congratulations to Donald Trump on the birth of his new grandson, whose arrival was of course tweeted out …
In related news, Trump’s lead lawyer in the Russia investigation, Ty Cobb, said that the newest Trump has no knowledge of anything Russian and would be unavailable to Robert Mueller for testimony regarding the Russia investigation for at least a year. Expected godfather “Uncle” Felix Sater was unavailable for comment.
Kudos to Ken Frazier, CEO of pharmaceutical manufacturer Merck, for resigning from Trump’s American manufacturing council. Frazier had been the sole black CEO on that council. Gee, what a surprise. Frazier’s resignation on behalf of Merck appears to stem directly from Trump’s lack of leadership following the Charlottesville white supremacist debacle this weekend, per this statement tweeted out …
This morning, the blithering and blathering idiots hosting Fox & Friends asked UN Ambassador Nikki Haley to comment on their Fox story reporting that spy satellites detected that North Korea is moving more missiles in place for testing. That sounds like pretty sensitive stuff. To her credit, Nikki Haley responded this way …
WARNING: This is an experimental, interactive post. Read with caution.
This was a great Made In America Week, celebrating the USA’s production capability. We are grateful for Donald Trump’s contribution to USA production, although that may sound counter-intuitive since just about everything with a Trump name on it such as all of Ivanka’s fashion line and Trump’s golf paraphernalia is made outside the USA, except for those crappy MAGA caps.
And then we have this tweet …
For some reason, people have compared Senator Mitch McConnell to a turtle. Well yesterday, McConnell was turtling along like usual, waiting for Senator John McCain to get healthy enough to return to the Senate and vote for the Senate’s Trumpcare bill.
And then, Twitter happened. Was it a Trump tweet?