Winnowing the Candidates – Part 1

There are already too many Democratic candidates for the 2020 Presidential race. So each month, I will reduce the field by one candidate through an announcement in this blog. If more keep joining the race, we may have to eliminate a candidate every two weeks. After my blog post, the candidate named in the post will be notified and expected to withdraw from the race. Maybe by the 2020 convention, we’ll have the field whittled down to a single, strong candidate to defeat Donald Trump in 2020.

The first candidate I am eliminating from the race is …

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Calamari Appeteaser

I am always eager to order calamari as an appetizer when I eat out. Yum. I enjoy the chewy texture which makes it seem like the calamari is fighting back a bit when I’m eating it. Give up calamari. You cannot defeat my jaws of steel and digestive juices.

Michael Cohen threw us a calamari appeteaser with his testimony when he dropped the name of Matthew Calamari numerous times. Who? Was Michael Cohen talking about a favorite character in Good Fellas or The Godfather?

Calamari is apparently former security muscle and now the COO of the Trump Organization. Do you think he knows some stuff that Americans would like to know? Get ready to see this guy Matthew Calamari in front of some House committees being grilled in the near future.

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Some Summit

The Donald Trump – Kim Jong-un Summit in Vietnam is over quicker than expected. Trump left earlier than planned and looked grumpy. Maybe it was the chairs?

kim trump chairs

Were the chairs chosen to make Kim look slim and tall while Trumpy looks short and fat? If so, that worked perfectly. And speaking of fat, here’s an artist’s conception of possibly why they could not reach any agreement …

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Flies On Washington Walls #143

FOWW #143a Cohen

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Haiku to You

I saw some 3-5-3 haiku on Twitter regarding Florida House Rep and Trump sycophant Matt Gaetz threatening Michael Cohen via this tweet.

gaetz tweet

I could not resist trying my hand at some haiku. I came up with a lot of variations on the same theme, but finally settled on this.

Gaetz sends tweet

To intimidate

Commits crime

Unpresidented

I thought a lot about President’s Day yesterday. I drove from Chicago down to St. Louis, and passed through Lincoln, Illinois as well as Springfield, Illinois where a young Abraham Lincoln lived and worked as an Illinois state legislator. I think Lincoln shed a few tears yesterday because of a tweet. Surprisingly, it was not a tweet from Donald Trump. No, this tweet came from Honest Abe’s own Republican party. Take a look …

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Surviving Day 2 of a National Emergency

Donald Trump sought refuge at what appears to be a very crappy omelet bar at Mar-a-Lago as the United States bravely somehow made it through Day 2 of our national emergency of not having a big wall that Mexico refuses to pay for.

Trump omelet bar.jpg

Trump made good use of his Eggsecutive Time to decide if he wanted ketchup on his omelet or not. Two bottles of ketchup at the Mar-a-Lago omelet bar. Classy.

But something is amiss in that picture. Take a another look.

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Flies On Washington Walls #141 – National Emergency Multi-Panel Edition

FOWW #141a National Emergency

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A Good Day For Trump Bashing

Today feels to me like a good day to bash Donald Trump. I don’t very often feel bad about making fun of Trump. He is a heinous individual. Really sub-human in a cretinous sort of way. Hey, even the dictionary tells me he is a worthless cheat.

trumpery definition

The person who summed up best how I feel is the Make Anagrams Great Again guy on Twitter, Chris Davis @tweakyourpc with this acrostic poem.

anagram trump name.gif

Wow, that really nails my feelings for Trump. But then I do sometimes feel bad if I take a cheap shot at him about something he can’t help, like his tiny hands. In my recent Flies On Washington Walls SOTU address preview, I had the flies predict there would be more of this type of two-fisted drinking.

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An Open Letter to American Employers

Dear American Employers,

I am writing to you to ask that you please excuse any hungover employees today. They are likely hungover due to watching Donald Trump’s State of the Union address. They probably played a drinking game associated with the Trump SOTU address, possibly a drink every time Trump sniffed or made a partisan comment. And really, drinking was the only way to get through that whole speech of his. Please cut the hungover drunks some slack today. They are patriots and were just doing their civic duty.

Resistingly yours,

Jim Flanigan

 

Flies On Washington Walls – YUGE Multi-Panel State of the Union Preview Edition

FOWW #139a SOTU

 

FOWW #139b SOTU

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Write On!

This post is dedicated to all the aspiring bloggers and writers that may read this. No pics, gifs or ‘continue reading’ links to click.

I have officially finished a piece of writing outside of this blog that brings me great satisfaction. My book? Well, maybe not so much. It is about two-thirds complete, but I don’t like it as much as I had hoped. If I don’t like it, how can I expect the general public to like it? Of course, Trump was elected, so I guess quality product is not that important to the general public after all. Further proof of that is that many people consider The Big Bang Theory to be a funny television show. Spoiler alert … it’s not. Anyway, my book is not abandoned, just shelved for a while as I have delved into short story fiction.

When I started writing this blog 3+ years ago to get some writing practice in an attempt to become a better writer, I could not write fiction. Yes, I had tried it in the past, and the attempts were cringe-inducing. I kept one of those attempts to inspire me to do better. Now I have a fictional short story that I really like … A LOT! Wow, I sound almost Trumpian there in praise of my efforts.

But my point in this post is to encourage YOU to keep writing. Take chances. Take risks. Write something different. Write for yourself. You never know where it may lead you. It is taking me down an unexpected fictional path. Well, the path is not fictional, but the resulting stories are. When our internet was out this past week, that was reason enough for me not to work, and I pounded out a first draft of a new story that I also very much like.

I have seen fellow bloggers try to take new paths before with disastrous (my opinion only) results, abandon the project, and go back to doing what they do best. That’s okay. Not all new projects are successes. Case in point … the My Fave Faves feature on this blog. I publicly abandoned ship on the second post of that feature because I realized that even I didn’t care about it. But I like writing about music, so my new feature called New Music for Old Rockers will likely hang around for a bit. It’s a new path for me that pleases me, at least for now. It’s less about me, and more about the music. I’m not interesting, but the music is. I have seen others bloggers branch out in new and interesting (again, my opinion) ways, finding a new path for their writing. Write On!

I would also encourage you to get an editor. I am fortunate to have a cousin who is also my godmother, but who I consider more as an older sister (sounds like a Tennessee family tree) that is also a professional editor and published author. She was the one who had been encouraging me to write for years now. You can blame her for this blog. While she liked my first fictional story, she red-lined it up pretty good in her editing process. I let it sit for six months, partly due to my 2018 mid-term election activity and partly due to wounded pride. After the election, I picked it back up, finally understanding that my cousin, the professional editor, has more skills and experience than I, the hack blogger, will ever have. She was trying to make my story better, and she did. I accepted the edits and it is no less my story, but with a professional edit. So get a second set of eyes on your creations. It can be a blow to your pride, but well worth the experience.

Where will I go from here with my short-story fiction? I guess if I write enough of them, that could be a book. I’m not sure, but that’s the path I’m headed down now. I will not be publishing them here. I feel comfortable in saying that if you are reading this blog, then I can’t trust you or your judgement. You will have to be content with another Mite Be Funny cartoon tomorrow. I know, I know. I announced a hiatus for Mite Be Funny, and there was much rejoicing. I even attended several ‘Mite Be Funny Ends!’ parties. I started Mite Be Funny with the unrealistic goal of 100 cartoons. Tomorrow will be #102. I can’t stop. It pleases me. That’s my point in this post. Write what pleases you. Write On!

RESIST

I wear my RESIST button everywhere on my coat.

resist button

It hangs from a tag on my coat, so I am able to turn it face down to avoid any confrontation with a Trumpster. I have a very low tolerance level for stupidity, and am just not interested in engaging a Trumpster.

It was very cold yesterday morning when I stumbled into the oral surgeon’s office for a scheduled root canal procedure. And then I realized I may have made a mistake …

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Inspired by Nature

I woke up to -9 degrees Fahrenheit this morning. I’m inspired to stay inside and not leave the house until June. For some reason, this winter pic reminds me of Paul Manafort and now Roger Stone.

icicles

 

It also inspired me to come up with an idea that could reopen the US government. What are the two words that could reopen the US government?

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Not in Her House

The back & forth has been fascinating to watch.

  • Donald Trump accepts Nancy Pelosi’s invitation to make a State of the Union address.
  • Pelosi rescinds the invite due to security concerns during the government shutdown.
  • Trump says he is coming anyway to make the speech.
  • Pelosi advises him that he is not coming without a concurrent resolution that her House will not pass.
  • Trump looks dumbfounded when informed about needing a concurrent resolution.

People have used the analogy that Trump is playing checkers while Special Counsel Robert Mueller is playing chess. That may or may not be. If Trump and Pelosi are both playing chess, Queen Pelosi is chasing King Trump across the board, putting him in check with every move she makes.

I don’t put it past Trump to just show up. If he does, I think this may be the result.

pelosi gavel.gif

Thanks to @Tarquin_Helmet on Twitter for his movie that became that cute gif.

An AOK MLK Day

I hope you had a good Dr. Martin Luther King Jr Day. I took some of the day off, and I hauled my 10 year old and her friend to an arcade where they could pretend they were somewhere else, anywhere else than with me, until it came time to recharge their gaming cards.

10 at d&b

Also today, Donald Trump and Mike Pence surprised everyone with an unscheduled visit to take a minute to lay a wreath at the memorial to Dr. Martin Luther King. That was it. A minute. No words. No service projects. One quick wreath. The house cartoonist for Mad Dog PAC, @repeat1968, offered up this cartoon on Twitter to perfectly memorialize the event.

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Flies On Washington Walls #138 – Special Subornation Explanation Multi-Panel Edition

foww #138a suborning

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MAGA – Make Anagrams Great Again

I realize that my earlier post today was not very funny. It was more of a cathartic blog/scream for me. Let’s call it a bleam. I just can’t get over our elected legislators siding with Russia, even if some of them are elected by people in Sharthole, Mississippi. No offense to Shartholians.

But Twitter made me smile today. I suggested to @tweakyourpc who is Chris Davis of Make Anagrams Great Again to do a Where’s Mitch anagram. That’s what we are all asking. Mitch McConnell is not putting bills on the Senate floor to reopen the US government, and has been generally hiding out recently, except for voting to lift Russia sanctions. Traitor! Oops, there I go again. Anyway, @tweakyourpc Chris obliged with this gem …

anagram where's mitch

Thanks to Chris for making me smile. I hope you do, too.

Russian to Vote

The US Senate voted yesterday on whether or not to allow sanctions against Russia to be lifted. All Democratic Senators voted to retain the sanctions. I was pleased to see these Republican Senators vote with the Democrats to retain the sanctions:

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