Unpresidented

I thought a lot about President’s Day yesterday. I drove from Chicago down to St. Louis, and passed through Lincoln, Illinois as well as Springfield, Illinois where a young Abraham Lincoln lived and worked as an Illinois state legislator. I think Lincoln shed a few tears yesterday because of a tweet. Surprisingly, it was not a tweet from Donald Trump. No, this tweet came from Honest Abe’s own Republican party. Take a look …

GOP tweet

Gross. What’s next? Maybe on the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center, the Trump Campaign Store will offer 9 to 11% off. There is only one President’s Day sale I want to see.

President day

On the plus side, if I was building an all-President basketball team, I would grab Abraham Lincoln at 6’4″ with my second pick as my starting center. He was the tallest President, so I’ll take my chances with Abe in the middle. Just don’t ask him about his shot. Touchy subject.

Of course, with my first pick I would take Barack Obama at 6’1″ as my point guard. He had a basketball court installed in the White House. He’s running the offense on my team.

obama-spin

In the backcourt with the Big O, I would add 5’10” Dwight Eisenhower. There is no record of Ike being a basketball player, and he did not make the West Point baseball team. However, he was a starting linebacker and running back for the West Point football team until his football career ended in injury when he tried to tackle the legendary Jim Thorpe. Eisenhower then went on to box, horseback ride, fence and do gymnastics. That sounds like an athlete I want on my team.

A President standing 6’3″ tall should get consideration for the front line of my team. Hmmm, Donald Trump is listed at 6’3″, although he seems to be the same height or a tad shorter than 6’1″ Barack Obama.

obama trump

Trump gets automatically disqualified because his hands have to be so greasy from KFC and McDonald’s that he would be a turnover machine.

Rather than Trump, I will take a couple other Republicans to round out my front line with Honest Abe. Give me a Gerald Ford at power forward. I have no idea if he can shoot a basketball, but Ford was a star football player at 6′ tall for the University of Michigan. He even got some interest from the pro ranks. I’ll gladly put a rugged Gerry Ford at the 4 spot in my line-up to grab some rebounds and play tough defense.

Rounding out my starting five will be a 6’2″ George H.W. Bush at small forward. He was captain of Yale’s baseball team after he was a WW2 war hero. I’ll gladly take that grit and athleticism on my team.

I’ve got to have a bench. In addition to being a great leader, George Washington stood 6’2″ tall. George, grab some pine, and I don’t mean your dentures. I also want William Howard Taft on my bench. Big Bill stood 6’0″ tall, but topped out at 350 lbs. I want Wide Willie coming off my bench to set some picks, throw some elbows in the paint, and grab some rebounds. That last spot on my bench goes to John F. Kennedy standing at 6’1″ tall. It’s true that JFK had a bad back, but he was a varsity swimmer at Harvard, and showed good speed and athleticism in touch football games at Hyannis Port.

This post accomplishes nothing, except to prove that I have way to much time to think while I drive from Chicago to St Louis.

 

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