Surviving Day 2 of a National Emergency

Donald Trump sought refuge at what appears to be a very crappy omelet bar at Mar-a-Lago as the United States bravely somehow made it through Day 2 of our national emergency of not having a big wall that Mexico refuses to pay for.

Trump omelet bar.jpg

Trump made good use of his Eggsecutive Time to decide if he wanted ketchup on his omelet or not. Two bottles of ketchup at the Mar-a-Lago omelet bar. Classy.

But something is amiss in that picture. Take a another look.

Sure, there’s that cheesy poster of Trump behind the omelet chef. And there’s the odd occurrence of a mirror within Trump’s sight that he’s not looking into. But take an even closer look.

Trump no make up

Without make-up, that is some major splotchiness on Trump’s face. Contrary to rumors circulating, Major Splotchiness is not going to be nominated as Secretary of Defense.

And where did his hair go? Normally, it is cascading over his ears and over his collar like this.

Trump hair normal

Could the hair be in a man-bun under his hat?

Trump man bun

Whatever that thing is that he wears on his head certainly is long enough to be bunnable.


Or maybe he has lost his hair as he worries about our nation being frozen in the terrifying grip of our national emergency.

Trump bald

You know, that does not appear to be a bad look. He looks less like the hideous monster that we know him to be.

So how did you spend Day 2 of our national emergency? I spent the day shoring-up the fencing around my property just in case Trump’s wall never gets built. Then I went back into my bunker and assumed the fetal position as I awaited being overrun by illegal immigrants MS-13 gang members. And that’s no yolk.