A Dreaded Top 10 List

I was going to start 2020 with the Top 10 List in this post below. And then I thought, “No, let’s not start 2020 with a classless post. Let’s stay classy and have a great 2020.” Well, you know that’s a pipe dream now with the COVID-19 coronavirus crashing our 2020 party. I’m currently eating corn on the cob for breakfast so we have cobs available for when we run out of toilet paper, and I’ll soon head out to collect filth for our dinner tonight.

filth cropped

And what do watch as we eat another filth casserole for dinner? Netflix is so strained that all we can get to stream without constant buffering is a documentary on the Republicans race to the White House in 2008. You know what that means? You betcha’ … more Sarah Palin.

sarah palin

So, it has come to this. The Top 10 list I didn’t want to use in 2020 follows. Sorry.

Top 10 Hair to Transplant to my Head

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My Wife’s Car Smells Like Little Jimmy

No, not that Little Jimmy. Get your mind out of the gutter. It smells like me as a young lad. I couldn’t figure out why. I smelled the air freshener dangling from the rear view mirror.

Bahama.JPG

I’m not sure what a breeze in the Bahamas smells like, but this air freshener smells like a tropical drink. I’m also not sure why my wife even needs an air freshener in the car. She always smells good to me.

So, I wasn’t sure where the Little Jimmy smell came from until I spotted this …

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Surviving Day 2 of a National Emergency

Donald Trump sought refuge at what appears to be a very crappy omelet bar at Mar-a-Lago as the United States bravely somehow made it through Day 2 of our national emergency of not having a big wall that Mexico refuses to pay for.

Trump omelet bar.jpg

Trump made good use of his Eggsecutive Time to decide if he wanted ketchup on his omelet or not. Two bottles of ketchup at the Mar-a-Lago omelet bar. Classy.

But something is amiss in that picture. Take a another look.

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Bald-Faced Truth

We have a beautiful dog.

Lola cut

She’s got some issues. One issue is that she scratches and bites herself … A LOT! It could be from mites, allergies (Mite Be Allergic), the environment, hormones, etc. In other words, our vet has no idea. She actually has some bald spots now. I feel for her as I do, too. My wife is making me very uncomfortable with all her talk about how bad the bald spots on the dog look. It is hitting too close to home. Sure, I don’t scratch and bite my hair out, but still, I’m a bit touchy.

And then I saw White House Nazi Stephen Miller on Face The Nation this past Sunday morning. He is a known baldy, but he looked very different this time. Take a look. Before is on the left and Face The Nation Stephen Miller is on the right.

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