Bald-Faced Truth

We have a beautiful dog.

Lola cut

She’s got some issues. One issue is that she scratches and bites herself … A LOT! It could be from mites, allergies (Mite Be Allergic), the environment, hormones, etc. In other words, our vet has no idea. She actually has some bald spots now. I feel for her as I do, too. My wife is making me very uncomfortable with all her talk about how bad the bald spots on the dog look. It is hitting too close to home. Sure, I don’t scratch and bite my hair out, but still, I’m a bit touchy.

And then I saw White House Nazi Stephen Miller on Face The Nation this past Sunday morning. He is a known baldy, but he looked very different this time. Take a look. Before is on the left and Face The Nation Stephen Miller is on the right.

Hmmm, looks like Miller, who works for Herr Fuhrer, has created a hair furor. That is definitely not his real hair. There are some who suggest he spray-painted his head.

baldness spray

I doubt that even the Trump Administration would allow Miller to paint his head before going on TV. There is a product called Toppik that may have been used.

toppik 1

You shake it on, sort of like seasoning your head. I wonder what it is.

toppik 4

Ew. So the barbershops and hair salons across the country are sweeping their floors and selling our hair to Toppik so balding people can wear floor hair on their head. And how can we be sure that is head hair that we are seasoning our head with? Ew, again.

There are competing products out there like this one that has this unbelievable promotional video.

toppik

Wow! Looks too good to be true. And they are offering FREE samples. How could I not? Oh right, because I would have to buy the “free” sample.

toppik 2

I suppose that could be a toupee on Miller’s noggin.

Toupee.gif

Just another reason why Muhammad Ali was The Greatest.

We may never know how Stephen Miller sprouted hair so quickly. Let’s just add it to the list of cover-ups courtesy of the Trump Administration.

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Bald-Faced Truth

  1. Aw, your poor dog. My cat has had the same thing. She’ll chew and bite at the base of her tail and tear the fur out; it’s gotten so bad before that it went up her spine. We still don’t know why. The vet could never figure it out, but the shots worked for a bit. She seemed to get sick from them, but she’d stop tearing out her fur. Lately, she seems a lot better, though. I haven’t seen her do it, and her fur has almost completely grown back. Hope your dog feels better soon. (And that hair product sounds nasty. Ugh, I shudder at the thought.)

    Like

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