I received this pen as a gift last summer.

Maybe I should clarify. This pen was given to me at a summer party last year because the owner threw up in his mouth every time he looked at it. I gladly grabbed it. The 8 sayings are listed on the back …

Those are so 2017. Some of those sayings still apply, but how about these new ones?

• Witch hunt!
• No collusion!
• Paul Manafort worked for me for a very short time.
• Michael Cohen is a rat.

I’m looking forward to hearing either one of these two in 2019.

• I plead guilty.
• I resign.

I will admit that this pen is very authentic. First, take a look at where it was made.

That’s just so Trump. The only way it could be more authentic is if it was Made in Russia.

I think they really caught the spirit of Trump’s hair with this pen.

The only thing I don’t like is the thought of pushing down on Trump’s hair whether it is the pen’s fake plastic hair or Trump’s fake real hair.

But talk about authentic! Take a look at the top of Trump’s head.

I’m not sure if the holes in Trump’s actual head are that symmetrical, but they surely exist.