Jim Flanigan Looks at the World
Turning the Mundane into Fundane Since 2015
In between moments of sheer boredom (because most of the candidates were all correct most of the time last night), I took copious notes that I will share with you.
Bill de Blasio – Rude, brash New Yorker who helped raise his profile significantly with his bravado. Uh-oh, that sounds familiar.
Tim Ryan – Looks like Bill de Blasio’s son. Nothing else to see or hear here. Move along.
Well, I warned you all. Here are excerpts from Chapter One of the book that I’m writing concurrent with the presidential campaign. Yes, the grammar is wrong. It is written in the first person – a campaign diary supposedly written by the modestly-educated host twin of the parasitic twin candidate. The grammar is meant to be wrong. Click to read the excepts, if you dare.
Continue reading “My Parasitic Twin Wants to be President – Chapter One – The Decision”
The title of this post could apply to this blog from the very first post, but it is especially applicable now. It used to be that readers could count on a post full of drivel from me almost every single day. You may have noticed (and rejoiced) that my posts have become more sporadic and less Trumpy. As for the latter, I am just sick of that saggy skin sack of lies and monkey feces. Sorry, that’s not fair to monkeys.
Wow, touchy. I said I was sorry. Anyway, I just want Trump impeached and voted out in 2020. I find nothing funny about him any longer.
As for the sporadicity (not a word, but a potential album title) of my posts, that’s another story.
So far, we have made progress in winnowing the candidates. Here’s who we have winnowed so far:
Needs reasons? Just search this blog for winnowing to find all the posts. That leaves us with this field remaining.
Except, I wasn’t quite sure who this guy is … 
Reverse Google Image Search suggested Dr. Dorociak, a dentist from Sarasota or the deceased Daniel Judd of Gloucester, MA. I wouldn’t doubt that either of them may be running. I narrowed it down to an already-winnowed Tim Ryan or new-to-the-race NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio. Not quite sure, but it won’t matter by the end of this article. Spoiler alert!
Not pictured is former Alaskan Senator and current old man Mike Gravel, responsible for the coolest meme of the 2020 campaign so far.
Continue reading “Winnowing the Candidates – Summer Vacation Edition”
This is really getting ridiculous. I can’t cut Democratic presidential candidates fast enough before more take their place. Here’s a recent poll from Emerson, and I have lined-out in red the candidates I have already eliminated.
Now we have Montana Governor Steve Bullock and NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio entering the race. I hate to do it, but it’s time to cut three. Here we go.
Continue reading “Winnowing the Candidates – Three Must Flee”
To catch-up the Trump supporters and similar slow/non-readers of this blog, here are the candidates we have eliminated from the Democratic primary race to date.
I mean, really, someone has to tell these people to go home and stop wasting money. I felt bad about the Delaney winnowing since he was the first in the race and seems like a good guy, until I saw this …
Continue reading “Winnowing the Candidates – Pelosi’s Revenge”
This is not becoming a favorite recurring blog post of mine. I liked it when I was eliminating candidates such as John Hickenlooper, Bernie Sanders, and Comrade Tulsi Gabbard from the Democratic presidential race. But now I have to start cutting some good people, like this guy.
Three guesses who he is. Go …
Nope, nope, and nope. That presidential candidate is …
Continue reading “Winnowing the Candidates – Twofer Edition”
Well, Attorney General Barr did his job as a Trump lackey appointee and threw cold water on any Special Counsel Robert Mueller findings over the weekend. I think the passage of time will reveal some more positive takeaways, but for now, what do we do? This?
Okay, so I did a little of that myself on Sunday. The Mueller investigation was not the end game. It has spun off so many other investigations that will continue on. I also have a feeling that when House Democrats get their hands on the full Mueller report, maybe Trump will start to once again look a bit more collusiony and obstructiony when all the details are revealed.
So put down the bottle and ask yourself …
Now that Beto O’Rourke is in the Democratic primary race, the rest of the field beto be ready for him. Get it? I know, that was a stretch. Sorry. But take a look at this real 2 acre crop circle in this field in Austin, Texas.
I guess you can say Beto is leading the field. Alright, I’ll stop.
Thankfully, South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg has taken his sweet time to officially announce he’s out of the Democratic race for President after I cut him last week. I’m certain he’s not ignoring me, and has just been getting his campaign in order before withdrawing gracefully from the race. Hold on, Mayor Pete. You’re back in.
My decision is partially because there was a winnowing of potential candidates that organically took place over the last week. Just take a look at this list that announced they are not running:
Continue reading “Winnowing the Candidates – Part 1 Revised – Pete’s Back, Back Pete”
There are already too many Democratic candidates for the 2020 Presidential race. So each month, I will reduce the field by one candidate through an announcement in this blog. If more keep joining the race, we may have to eliminate a candidate every two weeks. After my blog post, the candidate named in the post will be notified and expected to withdraw from the race. Maybe by the 2020 convention, we’ll have the field whittled down to a single, strong candidate to defeat Donald Trump in 2020.
The first candidate I am eliminating from the race is …
My life has been decidedly different the past two months. Sure, the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s holidays have played a role in changing my life as I have been selling my blood plasma weekly in order to pay for holiday entertaining and presents. Do you know how hard it is to type when you’re woozy from being a pint low? But that’s not the real change. I’m talking about shedding a weight that has rested heavy on my shoulders the past two years. I know, I know, I should also shed some weight around my mid-section. But that weight on my shoulders was formidable, and now it is almost completely gone, lifting itself from my shoulders pound by pound daily over the past two months. And it has definitely changed this blog. Thank God something has. I’ll explain.
My fantasy football season was a disaster this year. My excuse is that I was so distracted by the mid-term elections and the need to elect a Democratic Congress, that my early season effort and concentration suffered. Thanks Obama, for not running for a third term. But I have enjoyed the resurgence of the Chicago Bears as they won the NFC North this season.
I get all choked up about it as I type this as will Bears fans that read this.
Or maybe it was just a pork chop. I don’t know. I do know I never expected the Bears to be this good. To amuse myself during the football season in case the Bears have a bad team, I play other football games like Pick ‘Em games where you just try and pick the winners of each game each week. I normally do okay in those games, and I usually just hope to win a weekly prize. My dreams got a little bigger this last week of the football regular season. Take a look at these standings.
My team’s fortunes in my Trump-lover-filled family’s fantasy football league have taken a turn for the better since changing my team name and logo to the Blue Wavers.
My team continues to win and finds itself sitting 1 game out of the last playoff spot with 2 games left to play in the regular season. Call it superstition or stupidity (they may actually be used interchangeably), but I am keeping my team name as Blue Wavers for another week as long as the wins keep piling up. However, the team is now Blue Wavers 38 as even more House seats have fallen to Democrats amounting to a net gain of 38 House seats. How are these election results still coming in? Do they have preschoolers hand-counting the ballots?
But my fatherly love was tested thanks to my fantasy football team this week.
I thought that my family fantasy football team name last week, Blue Waves, would be my last team name and cool looking logo for the season.
My season was over. I have a terrible team. I spent way too much time working on the mid-term election and not enough time on a small, inconsequential, low dollar family fantasy football league. Thanks Obama. I had had some fun poking my Trump-loving family members in the league. They poked back in jest with Trumpy team names of their own. They didn’t understand that there actually was a Blue Wave. One of my nephews named his team the Blue Puddles. Does he not understand basic math concepts of whole numbers and greater than & less than? And then this happened …
I see that my oldest daughter’s cat has voted …
I don’t know about you, but ever since the 34th Amendment to the Constitution was ratified allowing cats to vote, I’ve had a problem with it.
I think it is a categorically cataclysmic catastrophe that really gives me paws to reflect. Sorry about the catatonic-inducing, catty catchphrases and caterwauling. It was not even that cathartic, although definitely catachrestic.
It wasn’t too long ago that former Trump adviser Steve Bannon had thoughts of using his lofty position in the Trump Administration as a possible jumping off spot for a future run at the presidency. He did have the ear of the most powerful and moronic man in the world, Donald Trump.
And then, just like that, Bannon was gone from the Trump Administration. And last night, on All Hallows’ Eve Eve, Steve Bannon found himself facing his worst Halloween nightmare here …
Jeff Fortenberry is a member of the House of Representatives from the state of Nebraska. And he’s got a funny name. You know how you want to say his last name. Go ahead, say it. I know you just said it. It is funny, isn’t it? But you know what’s not funny? Violence and vandalism. See Jeff’s tweet below.
Except, when it looks like this …
Last night at a rally in Houston, Lyin’ Ted Cruz bowed and paid fealty to Donald Trump.
At the moment he bowed before his new dark overlord, Lyin’ Ted became Winning Ted in Trump’s view. At that moment, in the eyes of Trump, Cruz’s father was exonerated for being part of the plot to kill JFK. At that moment, Trump decided to no longer call Heidi Cruz ugly in public, although he reserved the right to still think she is.
The Trumps were in Houston to “help” Cruz in his Senate race against Democrat Beto O’Rourke, who could be the most exciting Senate candidate to ultimately lose. Let’s hope Democrats find something for him to do for a couple years until the next election.
Meanwhile, Cruz is running a campaign with this motto …
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 