Winnowing the Candidates – Twofer Edition

This is not becoming a favorite recurring blog post of mine. I liked it when I was eliminating candidates such as John Hickenlooper, Bernie Sanders, and Comrade Tulsi Gabbard from the Democratic presidential race. But now I have to start cutting some good people, like this guy.

John Delaney Three guesses who he is. Go …

Nope, nope, and nope. That presidential candidate is …

john-delaney-open-graph-blue

Still nothing? Allow me to clarify. John Delaney, House Rep from Maryland. I’ve heard him interviewed. He seems like a nice guy. He has a nice website. He’s been running for President for a real long time now. In fact, he declared for President first in July of 2017, and has been running for almost two years now. I do like that stick-to-itiveness.

Dem candidates

But this is the graphic that tells me that John Delaney needs to go.

Dems Poll

It doesn’t look too bad when you see his name in the middle of the pack. Hey, anything can happen in this race. But 1% after almost two years running? Website renewal time for Delaney is quickly approaching this July. I’m going to help him save his money and officially chop him now. Thanks for participating Rep. Delaney.

As for the twofer I teased in the title, don’t even look for this guy on that Iowa poll since he just joined the race this month. No, I’m not talking about CA House Rep. Eric Swalwell, who I really like. I’m talking about this guy …

Mike_Gravel_cropped No, that is not Bernie Sanders with a mustache. This guy is even older.

Meet Mike Gravel. Love the name. Love his service to our country. He was an Army officer. No, not during the War in Vietnam. During the Korean War, which occurred shortly after WWII ended. He was a House Rep in Alaska, and also the Democratic Senator from Alaska. Really, thank you for your service Mr. Gravel. But now he is a declared candidate for President issuing campaign memes like this one on Instagram where he is destroying Beto O’Rourke with his laser eyes and oddly enough his laser index finger.

Mike Gravel meme

Laser finger? How does that dude type without destroying his keyboard, or in his case, his Smith Corona?

typrewriter.jpg

I can forgive a bad campaign meme, but the typewriter may be the real problem. Mike Gravel is so old that he may still use one. He’s 88 years old. As was the case with Bernie Sanders, if I have to grudgingly support an old white guy for President, it will likely be Joe Biden.

Hmmm, Gravel? It is starting to make sense now. Was he the Gravel that Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin suggested that House Rep. Maxine Waters use? Maybe the Trump Administration is afraid of Mike Gravel for President? Although I still would take Mike Gravel in a street brawl over Donald Trump (don’t forget the laser eyes and finger!), I don’t want him as my presidential candidate. Thank you for your service, but you are out of the race.

 

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