Jim Flanigan Looks at the World
Turning the Mundane into Fundane Since 2015
During this Arrestmas season, have you noticed how Republicans won’t say, “Merry Arrestmas” and will only say “Happy Holidays” or “Fuck off?” Come to think of it, they always say the latter to me. Dare I suggest that Republicans are waging a War on Arrestmas?
Okay, so I vowed in my last post not to go back to Trump coverage, but a friend sent me this today.
Continue reading “Merry Arrestmas”
I’ve read that Trump is considering a third party presidential run in 2024 if Republicans refuse to nominate him. He is drawing comparisons to Teddy Roosevelt and his Bull Moose Party back in 1912. I think that is a perfect analogy for Trump’s campaign today, including the name with just a small modification. Rather than the Bull Moose Party, Trump should more accurately call it the Bull Shit Party.
I have watched gas prices continue to drop to under $3 per gallon, and conservatives are very quiet now concerning how high gas prices are President Joe Biden’s fault. If they were smart (Spoiler Alert: They’re not), they would note that gas prices have been dropping since Trump entered the 2024 presidential race. There must be a correlation.
I saw Trump on his Truth Social network suggesting that the cold weather and winter storm we had a week ago proves that there is no climate change and global warming. So, if climate change and global warming have been resolved, did Joe Biden fix them?
I hate the thought of the Republican clown show running the House of Representatives in 2023. However, considering the Republicans controlled the House, Senate, and White House from 2021 through 2022 and accomplished absolutely nothing except another tax cut for the rich, I think the next 2 years may be unproductive but impossible not to watch in a car crash sort of way. Buckle up. I am sure House hearings on the search for Hillary Clinton’s emails on Hunter Biden’s laptop that may be located in Benghazi will start soon.
Tonight I start what I hope will be a series of blood plasma donations. Blood plasma is critically needed to create medicines to treat rare, genetic, and chronic diseases. I first heard about it through my brother-in-law who donates. Of course, he’s also donated one of his kidneys. Show-off. Anyway, here’s an overview if you are interested.
I am fine with all that, but one thing troubles me. I want to specify that my blood plasma only be used to treat Democrats and Independents. Definitely NOT to be used to help Republicans. Am I a bad guy?
I attended a rally for democracy yesterday on the anniversary of the January 6th Capitol insurrection. In the past, I blogged that rallying for voting rights was dumb, but having to rally to solicit support for democracy sounds even dumber to me. But there I was yesterday, in single digit cold temps, on a bridge with no feeling in my fingers or toes. Now those single digit temps were in Fahrenheit. In Celsius, it was around -12 or -13, which seems even colder to me. However, in Kelvin it was a balmy 260. I want to live in a Kelvin world NOW.
Anyhoo, we got plenty of support, but there were the usual middle fingers thrown our way and “Let’s go, Brandon” yells. Hey buddy, Brandon won. But the oddest comment was someone who yelled that democracy leads to communism. Is that the latest “logic” from Fox News?
I am a bit upset about my picture making the local newspaper. Take a look.
Continue reading “Freezing for Democracy”
I apologize to Cleveland for satirically picking on them, but I am a Chicago White Sox fan.
In this satirical post, I have decided NOT to promote my book of short stories. I don’t want anyone to be confused and think the info about my book is satirical. It’s not. I really did write a book of humorous and contemplative books about the afterlife.
Seriously, if you don’t believe this is real and not just more satire, click this link to buy the book on Amazon for under a buck.
Go ahead, prove it to yourself. I dare you.
I have a big day of blogging ahead for me as I reveal the final total of my winter weight gain in a post later today or tonight or tomorrow morning or whenever the hell I find the time to finish it. Stop rushing me! Before I start all my bloggishness, please join me in the National Anthem, as sung by Sailor Sabol at CPAC 2021, the right wing conservative conference, white supremacist meet & greet, and COVID super-spreader event. Feel free to put your hand over your heart, but I suggest you move both hands over your ears about halfway in as this Sailor encounters choppy waters (no relation to Muddy Waters).
Look, I can’t sing, but I am self-aware enough to know that I can’t sing. We’ve all seen those anthem videos when the singer forgets the words. We should have been so fortunate with Sailor. I wondered what key Sailor was singing in. It turns out – all of them.
This is the political party that wraps themselves in the American flag and claims to bleed red, white, and blue. If Republicans are so damn patriotic, get a good singer for the anthem at your events.
By the way, in exchange for the use of that YouTube video in this blog post, I am contractually obligated to mention that Sailor Sabol is available for bookings at weddings, bar and baht mitzvahs, and waterboardings.
So, where do QAnon conspiracy nutjobs go from here? I imagine them asking each other, “Can Trump still declare martial law AFTER Biden is inaugurated?” And to be clear, that’s MARTIAL law, not marshall law.
Oops! See what you did there, Marco?
No worries, just correct it.
Continue reading “QAnon Questions”
I’ve really tried recently to back away from all things Trump. He lost. He will most likely be prosecuted by someone, somewhere after he leaves the White House. Joe Biden will be the next President of the USA as of January 20th. After four years of Trump’s nonsensical, destructive alternative-reality, I’m sick of hearing from and about him. So, I’ve been staying away from cable news and Twitter. However, my wife tells me that Trump won’t leave and insists he didn’t lose and still plans to be living in the White House after January 20th. I wonder how he’ll like sharing the White House with the Biden’s large German Shepherds.
I hear that dogs love Trump …
And speaking of dogs, what or who do you see in this dog’s ear?
Continue reading “Too Much of a Bad Thing”
Why Republicans support Trump has confounded me over the past 4 years. Seemingly intelligent family and friends blindly follow Trump regardless of what idiocy he spouts or does. It is truly bewildering. But I’ve finally solved the mystery, thanks to Facebook.
I noticed this Facebook challenge that one of my Facebook friends did.
That Facebook friend is a staunch Democrat, hence the blue D. Okay, I’ll admit it. 24 is not the correct answer. There are 18 triangles. How can I be sure? I used to be a math major in college, I’m an annoying smarty-pants, and in my spare time, I enjoy looking at brightly colored geometric shapes for hours on end. 18 is the correct answer.
Now take a look at how a loyal Republican answered.
Continue reading “Why Do Republicans Support Trump? Mystery Solved!”
Yesterday, while Democratic candidates were beating each other up in a debate, House Republicans on a retreat in Baltimore were listening to a rambling, repetitive diatribe from guest-slurrer Donald Trump. Yes, the same Baltimore that Trump decried as rat-infested. So, MadDog PAC and Twitter provocateur Claude Taylor (@TrueFactsStated) took their Trump Rat Truck to Baltimore to join the protests. Oh, they also embellished the street sign a bit.
I just bought one of those signs from MadDog PAC (you can too at www.maddogpac.com) and am looking for a landing spot on the Flanigan compound to proudly display it. The Baltimore Sun covered the event and the counter-protests. I read their article online mainly to see what they said about the Trump Rat Truck. However, in the course of reading the article, an ad came up. That’s normal, but this time the ad was just so apropos. The article was talking about House Republicans losing the majority in 2018, and this was the ad that followed …
I spotted this on Twitter over the weekend …
Well, I am James the Idiot, so I had to learn more. I dove headfirst into the dazzlinglight.org website and came across this confusing text that could use a little dazzling light shining on it to help me understand it better.
Yesterday, we all decided that I was well-suited to forge a new career as a spy. But for what country or group? ISIS would be easy. They’ll recruit any nutjob like me. Well, I certainly am NOT going to be doing any spying for ISIS for one very important reason.
On Wednesday evening, I biked about 1 mile over to a stranger’s house, helped myself to an adult beverage from their cooler and settled into a comfy couch on their back deck. The homeowner let me stay and even offered me snacks! The reason is simple.
Wow, catchy title to this blog post. It is so lame that I couldn’t bring myself to capitalize any words in the title, not even the personal pronoun. I can see why this blog was recently voted Most Likely to Suck at the 2017 Bloggie Awards. If the title of this blog post captured your imagination and curiosity, then you should get out more. But first, read on if you must.
Continue reading “i thought my phone was broken this morning”
I’m not a overly religious guy. I belong to a church, but really don’t trust any church that would have me as a member. Props to Groucho for that joke. And I am not too picky about what church I attend. You can label me more spiritual than religious. I see God everywhere and nowhere, if that makes any sense. The one place I see God nowhere these days is …
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 