Yesterday, we all decided that I was well-suited to forge a new career as a spy. But for what country or group? ISIS would be easy. They’ll recruit any nutjob like me. Well, I certainly am NOT going to be doing any spying for ISIS for one very important reason.

Those heavy robes worn in the Middle East look really hot, and I mean that in a temperature way, not a fashion way.

I think I’d get a little swampy under those robes in hot weather. Although, I have to admit the robes aren’t any worse than topcoats like this one Bogart wore so well in Casablanca, a great spy movie.

At least under the robes, there doesn’t need to be anything else.

With a name like Flanigan, maybe the Irish Republican Army (IRA) would be a good spy fit for me. But the IRA has split, merged and re-formed more times than the Rolling Stones and Fleetwood Mac combined. I want some stability in my spying career, and I don’t eat enough potatoes.

I guess it would make sense to offer my spying expertise to my own country and spy for the USA. I’m just not sure if I spy under the Trump administration and current Republican rule if I would be spying for the USA or for Russia.

So that makes my decision simple. I’ll spy for Russia. I may have to change my party affiliation to the GOP to fit in.

And if Democrats are successful in taking back Congress in November and taking down Trump, then I can always defect back to the USA, a hero.