I’ve been very busy with my medical equipment business recently. The hard work has paid off. Today I secured a large order from a Swiss customer who is buying equipment they will pick-up in Germany for shipment to Russia (no collusion!). The payment will be made by the Swiss customer in euros to my bank account in the UK that will be converted to US dollars and sent to my bank account in the USA so that my LLC can access the funds. I feel a bit like international business magnate Donald Trump, but without the criminality. Oh, sorry, I just noticed I spelled maggot wrong in that last sentence.

Is Trump Right About Fake News?

I’m confused, which everyone who has ever read this blog already knows. I think Donald Trump is correct when he complains about ‘Fake News.’ I am starting to believe it exists.

Take this video from Judge Jeanine Pirro from Fox News on Michael Flynn. You may want to skip to the very end where Pirro suggests that Judge Sullivan could throw out Flynn’s guilty plea.

Did you watch the whole video? Did you throw up in your mouth just a bit in parts like I did? Understandable. This “judge throws out Flynn’s guilty plea due to FBI wrongdoing” narrative had been pushed by Fox News and White House talking heads for a while. Instead, Judge Emmet Sullivan, a Reagan appointee, excoriated Flynn in a blistering diatribe to the point of dropping the treason bomb as a possible additional charge. Oops.

And what about the Clinton Foundation?

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Fantasy Domination

If you are reading this blog post while wearing a ball gag and handcuffs, I am sorry to tell you that you have been misled by the title. I am talking about fantasy football domination in my family league like this …

Fantasy Domination.jpg

Can I get a booyah for a shutout?

booyah

Thank you. I don’t know which one of my Trump-loving relatives runs that Bye team (and what a terrible name for a fantasy football team with no logo whatsoever), but that team sucks. They scored nothing against me last week. Total fantasy domination.

But that was last week, and I only have a couple more weeks left in the season to tweak the Trump-lovers in my family fantasy football league with clever team names and logos like last week’s Collusionistas.

GOP shirt

I wanted to hammer (and sickle) the Russian connection more, so here is my new team logo …

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And Under the Trump Bus Goes Don Jr.

I saw this tweet in real time this morning. I couldn’t quite believe what I was reading.

Trump Tweet Meeting

I had no reply to tweet because I was not prepared for Trump Sr. throwing his son under the bus the way he did. Trump Sr. appears to use the “I didn’t do it, but my son did” defense.

I can only speculate on the conversation this tweet generated.

Jr: Oh father, I feel quite uncomfortable with my head resting under the bus tire.

Sr: Don’t worry. They’ll provide you a pillow in prison.

New Trump, Same Bad Memory

I want to extend my congratulations to Donald Trump on the birth of his new grandson, whose arrival was of course tweeted out …

Trump Tweet Grandson

In related news, Trump’s lead lawyer in the Russia investigation, Ty Cobb, said that the newest Trump has no knowledge of anything Russian and would be unavailable to Robert Mueller for testimony regarding the Russia investigation for at least a year. Expected godfather “Uncle” Felix Sater was unavailable for comment.

Made In America Week Ends баснословно

WARNING: This is an experimental, interactive post. Read with caution.

This was a great Made In America Week, celebrating the USA’s production capability.  We are grateful for Donald Trump’s contribution to USA production, although that may sound counter-intuitive since just about everything with a Trump name on it such as all of Ivanka’s fashion line and Trump’s golf paraphernalia is made outside the USA, except for those crappy MAGA caps.

And then we have this tweet …

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I Spy A Spy

I was thrilled to hear that the Trump Russia investigation has expanded to include former Trump campaign adviser Boris Epshteyn. Well, about freakin’ time. He is obviously a Russian spy. How do I know? Well, he’s named Boris, which is a classic Russian spy name. Just think about any Boris that you may have heard of before.

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Trump Ruins Another Blog Post

Ugh, this idiot Trump ruined another one of my childish blog posts scheduled for publication tonight. It wasn’t much of a post. It was just a pic of real Trump tweets in chronological order crying about the Russia investigations, Sally Yates and James Clapper. At the end, I added a fake Trump tweet for comic effect. Here it is …

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Rubber Trump

Unlike some of my “enhanced” Trump tweets, this one is the real deal …

Trump Tweet DNC Russia

This is an excellent example of perfect deployment of the “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you” defense. I would not be surprised if we see a follow-up tweet using the “I know you are, but what am I?” argument.

Aristotle would be so proud.

Everyone in the Trump Pool!

New office pool idea …

So far, Mike Flynn and Paul Manafort from Team Trump’s administration and campaign have retroactively registered as agents of foreign governments.

Gather your cube farm co-workers together and everyone gets to randomly select a current or former member of the Trump campaign or administration. Or make it even more fun and hold a Team Trump “draft” where your cube mates can select Team Trump members themselves. Winner is the one whose Team Trump selection next registers or is arrested as an agent of a foreign government. Since there will be many more identified as agents of foreign governments, there can be second and third places prizes, too. Not allowed is Donald Trump. We all know he is a current Russian agent.

(Tip: I’ve got all my money bet on Carter Page.)