russia
Rubled
I was in a rhyming, but bad mood about Trump knowing about Russian bounties on American soldiers’ heads as I walked this morning. The only thing that kept me from screaming was that I was also picking berries as I walked. Anyway, here it is …
The poem is a pic, so feel free to save and share.
Mooooving to Moscow?
I saw this on TV the other day …
Maybe the Republicans are right with their love of Russia. I live in the USA and can’t afford to buy VR gear. Even the cows have VR glasses in Russia. I feel like an udder failure.
I’ve been very busy with my medical equipment business recently. The hard work has paid off. Today I secured a large order from a Swiss customer who is buying equipment they will pick-up in Germany for shipment to Russia (no collusion!). The payment will be made by the Swiss customer in euros to my bank account in the UK that will be converted to US dollars and sent to my bank account in the USA so that my LLC can access the funds. I feel a bit like international business magnate Donald Trump, but without the criminality. Oh, sorry, I just noticed I spelled maggot wrong in that last sentence.
Signs the Apocalypse is Here
There are signs that the Apocalypse is nigh. First up, these are roaming the streets of the UK now …
Is Trump Right About Fake News?
I’m confused, which everyone who has ever read this blog already knows. I think Donald Trump is correct when he complains about ‘Fake News.’ I am starting to believe it exists.
Take this video from Judge Jeanine Pirro from Fox News on Michael Flynn. You may want to skip to the very end where Pirro suggests that Judge Sullivan could throw out Flynn’s guilty plea.
Did you watch the whole video? Did you throw up in your mouth just a bit in parts like I did? Understandable. This “judge throws out Flynn’s guilty plea due to FBI wrongdoing” narrative had been pushed by Fox News and White House talking heads for a while. Instead, Judge Emmet Sullivan, a Reagan appointee, excoriated Flynn in a blistering diatribe to the point of dropping the treason bomb as a possible additional charge. Oops.
And what about the Clinton Foundation?
Fantasy Domination
If you are reading this blog post while wearing a ball gag and handcuffs, I am sorry to tell you that you have been misled by the title. I am talking about fantasy football domination in my family league like this …
Can I get a booyah for a shutout?
Thank you. I don’t know which one of my Trump-loving relatives runs that Bye team (and what a terrible name for a fantasy football team with no logo whatsoever), but that team sucks. They scored nothing against me last week. Total fantasy domination.
But that was last week, and I only have a couple more weeks left in the season to tweak the Trump-lovers in my family fantasy football league with clever team names and logos like last week’s Collusionistas.
I wanted to hammer (and sickle) the Russian connection more, so here is my new team logo …
I Spy, Part 2
Yesterday, we all decided that I was well-suited to forge a new career as a spy. But for what country or group? ISIS would be easy. They’ll recruit any nutjob like me. Well, I certainly am NOT going to be doing any spying for ISIS for one very important reason.
And Under the Trump Bus Goes Don Jr.
I saw this tweet in real time this morning. I couldn’t quite believe what I was reading.
I had no reply to tweet because I was not prepared for Trump Sr. throwing his son under the bus the way he did. Trump Sr. appears to use the “I didn’t do it, but my son did” defense.
I can only speculate on the conversation this tweet generated.
Jr: Oh father, I feel quite uncomfortable with my head resting under the bus tire.
Sr: Don’t worry. They’ll provide you a pillow in prison.
No Secrets!
Donald Trump is a guy who has repeatedly claimed that he never would divulge his military strategy, I think mainly because he typically doesn’t have one. Now that bombing Syria looks like an option, Trump is only too willing to share that with the world …
Hair Farce One
Although we recently broke a Trump cover-up story for our readers, we now have some proof that Donald Trump does not lie … at least about his hair. It is definitely his own. If you haven’t seen this yet, take a look …
Flies On Washington Walls #61
Flies On Washington Walls #60
New Trump, Same Bad Memory
I want to extend my congratulations to Donald Trump on the birth of his new grandson, whose arrival was of course tweeted out …
In related news, Trump’s lead lawyer in the Russia investigation, Ty Cobb, said that the newest Trump has no knowledge of anything Russian and would be unavailable to Robert Mueller for testimony regarding the Russia investigation for at least a year. Expected godfather “Uncle” Felix Sater was unavailable for comment.
He’ll Pay For This Bill
Yesterday, Donald Trump signed the first major piece of legislation passed in his first 6+ months in office. No, not healthcare. No, not infrastructure. No, not tax reform.
Made In America Week Ends баснословно
WARNING: This is an experimental, interactive post. Read with caution.
This was a great Made In America Week, celebrating the USA’s production capability. We are grateful for Donald Trump’s contribution to USA production, although that may sound counter-intuitive since just about everything with a Trump name on it such as all of Ivanka’s fashion line and Trump’s golf paraphernalia is made outside the USA, except for those crappy MAGA caps.
And then we have this tweet …
I Spy A Spy
I was thrilled to hear that the Trump Russia investigation has expanded to include former Trump campaign adviser Boris Epshteyn. Well, about freakin’ time. He is obviously a Russian spy. How do I know? Well, he’s named Boris, which is a classic Russian spy name. Just think about any Boris that you may have heard of before.
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Value Intelligence
Recent news reports tell me that Donald Trump gave away intelligence to the Russians. Based on what I have seen so far, I do not think he can afford to give away any intelligence. He needs all he has left in his addled mind.
To Russia With Love
Keep It Under Your Hat
Trump Ruins Another Blog Post
Ugh, this idiot Trump ruined another one of my childish blog posts scheduled for publication tonight. It wasn’t much of a post. It was just a pic of real Trump tweets in chronological order crying about the Russia investigations, Sally Yates and James Clapper. At the end, I added a fake Trump tweet for comic effect. Here it is …
Rubber Trump
Unlike some of my “enhanced” Trump tweets, this one is the real deal …
This is an excellent example of perfect deployment of the “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you” defense. I would not be surprised if we see a follow-up tweet using the “I know you are, but what am I?” argument.
Aristotle would be so proud.
Everyone in the Trump Pool!
New office pool idea …
So far, Mike Flynn and Paul Manafort from Team Trump’s administration and campaign have retroactively registered as agents of foreign governments.
Gather your cube farm co-workers together and everyone gets to randomly select a current or former member of the Trump campaign or administration. Or make it even more fun and hold a Team Trump “draft” where your cube mates can select Team Trump members themselves. Winner is the one whose Team Trump selection next registers or is arrested as an agent of a foreign government. Since there will be many more identified as agents of foreign governments, there can be second and third places prizes, too. Not allowed is Donald Trump. We all know he is a current Russian agent.
(Tip: I’ve got all my money bet on Carter Page.)
Russian Friends?
BREAKING NEWS:
Russian influence in the USA has now been traced all the way back to unsuccessful efforts to get Jennifer Aniston as Rachel removed from the cast of “Friends” back in the early 2000’s. Sources claim that Russia hoped the cast shake-up would make the US appear less friendly.
Tweets, Taps & Ties, Oh My!
The Hirsute Orange Turd that the American Electorate left steaming on the lawn of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue just dropped a serious tweetstorm onto former President Obama …
Nyet
Breaking News …
In an effort to simplify the Russian investigation, Democrats now want to know if anyone in the Trump administration has NOT had contact with the Russians.
Russian to Judgment
I don’t like the direction this Trump/Russian thing is headed one bit .
TripAdvisor or TrumpAdvisor?
Donald Trump is having his first press conference today in almost half a year. Despite all the things that have gone on in the last 6 months, I really want the first question to be this …
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“Russian” to Wish You a Happy New Year
USA sides with Russia in dispute with Turkey
