Fantasy Domination

If you are reading this blog post while wearing a ball gag and handcuffs, I am sorry to tell you that you have been misled by the title. I am talking about fantasy football domination in my family league like this …

Fantasy Domination.jpg

Can I get a booyah for a shutout?

booyah

Thank you. I don’t know which one of my Trump-loving relatives runs that Bye team (and what a terrible name for a fantasy football team with no logo whatsoever), but that team sucks. They scored nothing against me last week. Total fantasy domination.

But that was last week, and I only have a couple more weeks left in the season to tweak the Trump-lovers in my family fantasy football league with clever team names and logos like last week’s Collusionistas.

GOP shirt

I wanted to hammer (and sickle) the Russian connection more, so here is my new team logo …

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My Dead Fantasy

The dream is over. When I last blogged about my family league’s Blue Wavers 40 fantasy football team, it had pulled itself out of last place and was stacking wins on the way to the playoffs. Go Blue Wavers 40!

blue wave

Except, the Blue Wavers 40 didn’t make it. Four straight wins to end the season was not enough to snag the last playoff spot, snatched by a nephew (no longer a favorite) on a tie-breaker. And to think I did a reading at his wedding. After ripping the final playoff spot away from me and stomping my heart into a red gelatinous puddle, he better not ask me to do a reading at his divorce.

But I do get to play on. That means it is time for a team name change to the …

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A Father’s Fantasy Love

My team’s fortunes in my Trump-lover-filled family’s fantasy football league have taken a turn for the better since changing my team name and logo to the Blue Wavers.

blue wave

My team continues to win and finds itself sitting 1 game out of the last playoff spot with 2 games left to play in the regular season. Call it superstition or stupidity (they may actually be used interchangeably), but I am keeping my team name as Blue Wavers for another week as long as the wins keep piling up. However, the team is now Blue Wavers 38 as even more House seats have fallen to Democrats amounting to a net gain of 38 House seats. How are these election results still coming in? Do they have preschoolers hand-counting the ballots?

But my fatherly love was tested thanks to my fantasy football team this week.

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Math is not a Fantasy

I thought that my family fantasy football team name last week, Blue Waves, would be my last team name and cool looking logo for the season.

blue wave

My season was over. I have a terrible team. I spent way too much time working on the mid-term election and not enough time on a small, inconsequential, low dollar family fantasy football league. Thanks Obama. I had had some fun poking my Trump-loving family members in the league. They poked back in jest with Trumpy team names of their own. They didn’t understand that there actually was a Blue Wave. One of my nephews named his team the Blue Puddles. Does he not understand basic math concepts of whole numbers and greater than & less than? And then this happened …

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Reality Trumps Fantasy

I really enjoy playing fantasy football. Over the past 28 or so years of participating, I have won more than I’ve lost. I wanted a win badly on Tuesday. I got it, but not from the Stoned Back Tattoos in my family’s fantasy football league.

No, my Roger Stone-inspired team took another loss. The win I am talking about on Tuesday was this …

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Stoned Fantasy

My Tired Winners family fantasy football team got back to its losing ways last weekend. Whew! The pressure of winning was unbearable and exhausting. I was loathe to abandon my Tired Winners logo. It suited me so well, at least the tired part.

Tired of Winning

But it was time to move on and a new target has recently emerged in the Russian investigation concerning Trump world. That target is GOP dirty trickster and former Trump adviser Roger Stone. To me, a logical team name appeared to be the Stoned Pinheads with one of these pics as a logo.

But I did not want to disparage pinheads, so I discarded the pinhead concept and considered this Roger Stone pic for inspiration.

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Fantasy Exhaustion

Last week, my family league’s fantasy football team’s perfect record was finally blemished. I should have expected nothing less than a blemished record from the Manfart’s Mugshots.

Manafort Mugshots

That’s right, my team, under the name Manafart’s Mugshots, finally won. My streak of losses to start the season has been broken. Too bad it was a win against my liberal niece from Colorado and not against one of my Trump-loving relatives.

I have changed the team name almost every week except for the week that I kept the Baby Blimps around for an extra one because of what I received in the mail. Spoiler alert – not a pipe bomb. Now where do we go from here for the team name and logo?

Inspired once again by Donald Trump and the promises he has made, I present to you …

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