Blog Shutdown

January 12, 2019 ~ Jim Flanigan

Due to the continuing US government shutdown, this blog (deemed as non-essential by the Trump Administration) will not be posting for a few days. Finally, you can be grateful to Donald Trump for something. Any posts that may occur will likely be lacking humor. I hope you will be able to tell the difference.

Thanks to a generous grant from CACA (Corporation Advancing Cartoon Arachnids), Mite Be Funny has been fully funded through tomorrow, and Mite Be Funny #100 will post tomorrow as scheduled. We are seeking further funding from organizations like FFF (Foundation For Flies) to continue to bring you such regular features like Flies On Washington Walls cartoons. Don’t hold your breath.

Immigration Explained

January 10, 2019January 13, 2019 ~ Jim Flanigan

Now that I am an ordained minister, I feel it is incumbent upon me to explain and sermonize about humanitarian issues like immigration. I can easily explain the basics of immigration thanks to this drawing I found on Twitter.

But there is so much more. For example, this picture doesn’t even begin to address the use of “unbelievable vehicles” by the Mexican drug cartels.

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Your Salvation is in my Hands

January 9, 2019January 8, 2019 ~ Jim Flanigan ~ 3 Comments

In yesterday’s post, I waxed philosophical about religion. Later that day, I waxed my back & shoulders. I’ll blog about that hair-raising experience another day. Today, I will tell you what I am doing about the whole religion issue.

I’m not one to sit back and do nothing, unless it is the weekend and effort is required on my part. I think religion has gone off course, especially with so-called evangelical Christians supporting hedonistic pagan Donald Trump. I don’t want to crucify or even cross those Christians. They don’t need my persecution. I think they need salvation.

With that in mind, I acquired this yesterday …

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Shhhh!

January 7, 2019January 6, 2019 ~ Jim Flanigan

A dear friend, who is also a follower of this blog, just came back from a silent weekend retreat. I’m anxious to hear how it was, assuming he can speak now. If he tries to be a tough cookie, we have ways to make him talk.

Why, oh why, do I love those bad jokes? I initially thought I would never do a silent retreat. Then I got to thinking of some of the benefits …

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A Weight Has Been Lifted

January 4, 2019 ~ Jim Flanigan

My life has been decidedly different the past two months. Sure, the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s holidays have played a role in changing my life as I have been selling my blood plasma weekly in order to pay for holiday entertaining and presents. Do you know how hard it is to type when you’re woozy from being a pint low? But that’s not the real change. I’m talking about shedding a weight that has rested heavy on my shoulders the past two years. I know, I know, I should also shed some weight around my mid-section. But that weight on my shoulders was formidable, and now it is almost completely gone, lifting itself from my shoulders pound by pound daily over the past two months. And it has definitely changed this blog. Thank God something has. I’ll explain.

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Send in the Clones

January 4, 2019January 3, 2019 ~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

Not sure what was up with the four bald dudes (bad name for a barbershop quartet) with Trump at yesterday’s press briefing on border security.

And did they miss a major portion of Trump’s head & face with the orange make-up or tanning cream or Cheeto dust or whatever he uses to get that unnatural burnt orange hue?

Maybe we should demand he get his make-up correct before we consider giving him 5 billion dollars for a border wall.

Resolute Resolutions

January 2, 2019January 1, 2019 ~ Jim Flanigan

As I scrambled to come up with New Year’s resolutions that did not involve watching more television shows, napping, or eating more food, I referred to folk singer and activist Woody Guthrie’s 1943 New Year’s resolutions for inspiration. Take a look … Continue reading “Resolute Resolutions” →

Trump’s Marley Moment

December 24, 2018December 23, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan

I think Donald Trump may be due for a “Marley moment” this Christmas Eve, and I’m talking about Jacob Marley, not Bob Marley, although a Bob Marley moment might do Trump some good, too.

I saw this pic and can definitely see the Jacob Marley moment coming.

Don’t notice anything unusual other than a reality show host and huckster of crappy products from bankrupt companies sitting in the Oval Office? Take a closer look …

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The End of Fantasy

December 22, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan

All football season long, I have been tweaking my Trump-loving relatives that I play with in my family’s fantasy football league by choosing anti-Trump names for the team. Last week, my team name was the Gang of Puppets.

I still go back and forth as to whether I should have named the team Gang of Putin. Oh well, both work.

I wanted to finish off the season with a good name and logo. I considered The Indictables or The Indictmentals using a Roger Stone pic as the team logo.

That is one goofy looking head. I think it is a done deal that a Roger Stone indictment is imminent. But I had already featured Stone as a team logo, or at least his Dick Nixon back tattoo.

I skipped another Stone team name and logo. I have tried to make my team names and logos topical. Trending in the news now is this pic …

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Trump Twitter Test

December 21, 2018December 20, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan

My wife does not use Twitter. My wife does not like Donald Trump. She seemed to me to be the perfect person to try my first Trump Twitter Test.

I refuse to follow Donald Trump on Twitter or anywhere else, but I do check in on him from time to time. I do follow a Donald Trump parody account that amuses me to no end.

So the test I prepared was to present my wife a parody Trump tweet and a real Trump tweet to see if she could identify parody vs. real. Would you like to play, too?

I have prepared the 2 tweets so they present very similarly. Ready? Here’s #1.

Here’s #2.

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Flies On Washington Walls #136

December 21, 2018December 20, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

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Trump to End Elf on the Shelf in USA?

December 20, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan

Here is a Christmas post from 2016, still quite timely, and updated for 2018.

The Elf on the Shelf appears to be in danger of disappearing from the USA by Christmas 2018.

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Is Trump Right About Fake News?

December 19, 2018December 19, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan

I’m confused, which everyone who has ever read this blog already knows. I think Donald Trump is correct when he complains about ‘Fake News.’ I am starting to believe it exists.

Take this video from Judge Jeanine Pirro from Fox News on Michael Flynn. You may want to skip to the very end where Pirro suggests that Judge Sullivan could throw out Flynn’s guilty plea.

Did you watch the whole video? Did you throw up in your mouth just a bit in parts like I did? Understandable. This “judge throws out Flynn’s guilty plea due to FBI wrongdoing” narrative had been pushed by Fox News and White House talking heads for a while. Instead, Judge Emmet Sullivan, a Reagan appointee, excoriated Flynn in a blistering diatribe to the point of dropping the treason bomb as a possible additional charge. Oops.

And what about the Clinton Foundation?

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Bald-Faced Truth

December 18, 2018December 17, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

We have a beautiful dog.

She’s got some issues. One issue is that she scratches and bites herself … A LOT! It could be from mites, allergies (Mite Be Allergic), the environment, hormones, etc. In other words, our vet has no idea. She actually has some bald spots now. I feel for her as I do, too. My wife is making me very uncomfortable with all her talk about how bad the bald spots on the dog look. It is hitting too close to home. Sure, I don’t scratch and bite my hair out, but still, I’m a bit touchy.

And then I saw White House Nazi Stephen Miller on Face The Nation this past Sunday morning. He is a known baldy, but he looked very different this time. Take a look. Before is on the left and Face The Nation Stephen Miller is on the right.

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Fantasy Domination

December 15, 2018December 15, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

If you are reading this blog post while wearing a ball gag and handcuffs, I am sorry to tell you that you have been misled by the title. I am talking about fantasy football domination in my family league like this …

Can I get a booyah for a shutout?

Thank you. I don’t know which one of my Trump-loving relatives runs that Bye team (and what a terrible name for a fantasy football team with no logo whatsoever), but that team sucks. They scored nothing against me last week. Total fantasy domination.

But that was last week, and I only have a couple more weeks left in the season to tweak the Trump-lovers in my family fantasy football league with clever team names and logos like last week’s Collusionistas.

I wanted to hammer (and sickle) the Russian connection more, so here is my new team logo …

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Flies On Washington Walls #135

December 13, 2018December 12, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan

Flies On Washington Walls #134

December 12, 2018December 11, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

No Smocking Allowed

December 10, 2018December 10, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan

My Dead Fantasy

December 8, 2018December 7, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

The dream is over. When I last blogged about my family league’s Blue Wavers 40 fantasy football team, it had pulled itself out of last place and was stacking wins on the way to the playoffs. Go Blue Wavers 40!

Except, the Blue Wavers 40 didn’t make it. Four straight wins to end the season was not enough to snag the last playoff spot, snatched by a nephew (no longer a favorite) on a tie-breaker. And to think I did a reading at his wedding. After ripping the final playoff spot away from me and stomping my heart into a red gelatinous puddle, he better not ask me to do a reading at his divorce.

But I do get to play on. That means it is time for a team name change to the …