Trump to End Elf on the Shelf in USA?

Here is a Christmas post from 2016, still quite timely, and updated for 2018.


The Elf on the Shelf appears to be in danger of disappearing from the USA by Christmas 2018.

Trump Administration representatives met with Elf on the Shelf union leaders to make it clear that without the proper immigration papers, no Elf on the Shelf will be legally allowed into the USA any longer. “These migrants without any papers just appear in the USA on December 1st in droves, making mischief in unsuspecting homes throughout the country, and then disappear on Christmas Day with no consequences for their actions,” noted perennial Santa naughty-lister and Trump spokesperson Kellyanne Conway. “Many of these self-professed elves spend the other 11 months of the year carousing in Mexico,” Conway continued, “so we will see how well they can scale a wall after we build it in 2019.”


Unknown Elf on the Shelf shown chillaxing in the offseason in Acapulco

Elf on the Shelf union leader Holly replied, “We have a ton of influence with the jolly fat man, and I am not talking about Chris Christie. If we are kept from doing our job, we’ll just have to see how much Republicans like Christmas morning when the Lexus they asked for doesn’t show up on their driveway with a big freakin’ bow on top like in the commercial. Do they really think their cheap-ass spouse will buy it for them?”

 The Department of Homeland Security did confirm that their 2019 budget contains a line item for the purchase of millions of small nets.