There’s a Coal Wind Blowing

Remember when bringing back the coal industry was a thing?

Two years into the Trump Reich and we see this …


‘Market forces’ my ass. It’s coal we’re talking about. It’s like using a buggy whip to try and make a car go faster. Well, I may be snarky, but I am always ready to offer some solutions to Make America Great Again. Better sit down and buckle-up for these. I have a short term and long term fix in mind for coal.

Short Term Solution to the War on Coal

That’s right, the War on Coal. Don’t say you don’t hate coal. Anyway, my short term solution concerns Christmas. This Christmas, every Trump supporter gets a lump of coal in their stocking instead of any gifts. Tens of millions of lumps of coal get distributed.


Long Term Solution to the War on Coal

What does Trump want more than a healthy coal industry? No, not another night with Stormy Daniels. The Wall. What if we built Trump’s precious wall out of coal?

coal wall

That’s a big wall. Oh sure, it is 100% flammable, but we could put signs up. And nobody is going to try and scale a flaming wall. We all know fire is too dangerous to mess with.

fire bad.gif

Well, most of us do. Just to be on the safe side, aren’t diamonds very hard, and aren’t diamonds made from coal?

coal to diamonds.gif

Thanks Superman and Richard Pryor in the background. What if we used Superman to make all the coal into diamonds, and then glued a wall of diamonds together?


OK, so no Trump supporters working on gluing those diamonds together. Sure, it might sound crazy to build Trump’s wall out of coal or even diamonds. But as crazy as bringing back the coal industry? I think not.