Show Me The Money!

Some bloggers make money off their blogs. I don’t know how to do that.

I see other blogs selling products. I don’t know how to do that.

I see other blogs plastered with advertising. I don’t know how to do that.

I see other blogs with affiliate links. I don’t know how to do that, and on top of that, I don’t know what affiliate links are. If they are anything like sausage links, I am willing to learn about them.

Despite my general lack of knowledge about blogging and specific lack of knowledge about making money off blogging, I have decided to monetize this blog in the only way I know how. I’ll take a hundred bucks to make this my last blog post ever. You know you want to be the one to shut this down. Make me an offer before I post again.

Blog Shutdown

Due to the continuing US government shutdown, this blog (deemed as non-essential by the Trump Administration) will not be posting for a few days. Finally, you can be grateful to Donald Trump for something. Any posts that may occur will likely be lacking humor. I hope you will be able to tell the difference.

Thanks to a generous grant from CACA (Corporation Advancing Cartoon Arachnids), Mite Be Funny has been fully funded through tomorrow, and Mite Be Funny #100 will post tomorrow as scheduled. We are seeking further funding from organizations like FFF (Foundation For Flies) to continue to bring you such regular features like Flies On Washington Walls cartoons. Don’t hold your breath.

A Weight Has Been Lifted

My life has been decidedly different the past two months. Sure, the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s holidays have played a role in changing my life as I have been selling my blood plasma weekly in order to pay for holiday entertaining and presents. Do you know how hard it is to type when you’re woozy from being a pint low? But that’s not the real change. I’m talking about shedding a weight that has rested heavy on my shoulders the past two years. I know, I know, I should also shed some weight around my mid-section. But that weight on my shoulders was formidable, and now it is almost completely gone, lifting itself from my shoulders pound by pound daily over the past two months. And it has definitely changed this blog. Thank God something has. I’ll explain.

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2018 Follower of the Year Award

I’m used to seeing the featured image on today’s blog, except normally with one less finger on each hand extended. But it is that time of the year to cross your fingers and hope to be the lucky one to be chosen the 2018 Jim Flanigan Looks at the World Follower of the Year. As I mentioned in a recent blog post, the 2017 winner went on to snare a high paying job in 2018. This could be you in 2019!

crossing guard

No, not a crossing guard, but undercover law enforcement or a drug kingpin in a speeding getaway car. Regardless of whether or not you score a high-paying job, you’ll always be the 2018 Jim Flanigan Looks at the World Follower of the Year. So, without further ado … oh, wait. We need a drumroll befitting this award.

drumroll belly

Perfect. The 2018 Jim Flanigan Looks at the World Follower of the Year is …

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I Missed Another Blogging Milestone

I don’t know how it happened. I was watching the number of followers of this blog slowly rise from almost nobody to a few misguided souls seeking succor and comfort from my words. And if that is what you seek from this blog, boy, did you come to the wrong place.

Despite my vigilance, I missed the addition of a follower that helped us reach the … get ready for this … dizzying amount of a quarter of a thousand followers. That’s right, despite my best efforts at worst writing, almost zero promotion (I’m not counting that scathing review of this blog in the Crabtree Corners Courier last summer), and a complete lack of continuity or theme to this blog, we now have well over ten times the number of blog followers as attendees at a Steve Bannon Holiday Inn campaign stop in Kansas to promote Steve Watkins for Congress.

Bannon Kansas2

Now that I have a quarter of 1,000 (whoa, check out all those zeroes!) followers, it almost makes me want to try harder. Nah. But there is a potential windfall coming up in less than a week for one lucky follower.

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Thanks Trump, for Wasting our Time

I have invented a time-saving grammar innovation to help revolutionize the world. However, due to Donald Trump, I can’t implement it across the USA. I will explain.

We’re always wasting time. A good example is this blog. I wasted time writing this post, and now I’m wasting your time as you read it. You’re welcome! Sure, an easy solution would be for me to stop blogging. How many of you have asked the question, “Why does he keep writing that drivel?”

hands up

Hey, that was rhetorical. Hands down please.

I wondered if there wasn’t another way to save time so I could still waste time with this blog. I set to work on a solution.

deep thought

But I couldn’t come up with anything because the room was full of floating mathematical equations. Geez, those are annoying.

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