A Modern Hanukkah Miracle?

The 8 Days of Hanukkah tradition comes from a time just after Jewish rebels liberated the Temple in Jerusalem during the Maccabean Revolt. To rededicate the Temple, a menorah was to be lit continuously. Obviously, energy conservation was not a hot topic back then. No wonder we have climate change issues these days. Anyway, the bad news was that they only had enough oil to last one day. The good news was that a miracle occured, and their one day’s worth of oil lasted eight days until they got new oil.

I know it’s still a little premature for Hanukkah, but did I just personally experience a modern 8 Days of Haukkah? Yeah, I know it may not be as exciting of a story as the original, but it is to me. I was a part of this miracle. I literally partook of the miracle. While it doesn’t concern jugs of oil, it does involve this particular jug …

That gallon jug of milk was to be best used by the 3rd of December. Sure, sometimes you get a day or two grace period before the milk sours and then gets chunky. But not this jug of milk. For eight glorious days, I used expired milk without a moment’s thought of how I was tempting fate. For eight miraculous days, it graced my cereal, was part of hot chocolates, and was my go-to drink to accompany spicy food. It was undeniably a modern Hanukkah miracle … except for not occuring during Hanukkah and having absolutely nothing to do with Jewish religious ceremonies. Small detail, really. Let’s not split hairs. I was part of a miracle that happened within a week of Hanukkah, and that’s what’s important.

To add to the mystery, on the morning of the ninth day, the whole jug and remaining small quantity of milk had mysteriously disappeared from the refrigerator. Had God miraculously vanished it so I wouldn’t start worshipping the milk jug? Had it ever really existed at all, or did I just dream of such miraculous happenings? And if it did exist, why was God using cheap parlor tricks to jerk me around? Those questions plagued me … until I found the empty jug in recycling. Apparently, my wife didn’t feel like driving me to the ER if I dared try the milk again. No problem. If eight days is good enough for our Jewish friends at Hanukkah, eight days is good enough for the Modern Flanigan Gentilized Hanukkah Milk Miracle. Maybe we can shorten that to Moflagehamimi. Doesn’t that sound like a religious holiday worth toasting? Now, where’s my milk?