Jim Flanigan Looks at the World
Turning the Mundane into Fundane Since 2015
Of course, I won’t be the one giving you a totally FREE Apple Watch. Come on, I’m already offering you an almost free (under a buck!) award-winning book of short stories. But I can point you in the right direction to get a FREE Apple Watch. I have to admit, I was skeptical. But I registered, and this arrived by FedEx.
Continue reading “Want a FREE Apple Watch?”But who in their right mind would? It would be challenging to find anyone who would admit to taking my advice. I have seen a lot of my dermatologist recently as she carved away more skin cancer from my noggin. I was hoping that in lieu of payment, I could do some “consulting” work for her. I have spent almost all of my career in sales & marketing, so I thought I could help her out with some ways to promote her business and make her waiting room even busier.
I had noticed more women than men in the waiting room. On my initial recent visit to my dermatologist, I shared with her a way to draw more men to her practice. For every visit a man makes to her practice, offer a free transplant of 5 hairs. I’d be in to see her every couple weeks for excellent dermatological care and a better hairline.
On my next visit to her for the actual surgery, I wasn’t sure if I was more excited to have my cancer removed or get 5 hairs planted on top of my head.
Continue reading “My Dermatologist Won’t Take My Advice”
I have a new “career” as an independent Product Marketing Consultant. So far I have done “consulting” for companies on a variety of topics such as a cremation website, an anti-virus program, lawn & garden product packaging, Medicare, printer ink, and entertainment streaming services, along with others. Yes, people actually are listening to my opinion and paying me good money for it. In the past, nobody has ever wanted to even hear my opinion, let alone pay me for it. My wife doesn’t want to hear it. My friends don’t want to hear me drone on about this and that and how my soup’s too cold. And my kids certainly have never listened to me. They stuck with listening to their mother. Good choice on their parts.
I had blogged that I was hoping to be chosen for a product marketing study about candy. The candy study was local, paid well, and involved me eating caramel candy.
Exactly, Homer. And then yesterday, I got this text.
Continue reading “A Sweet Deal”
As I mentioned before, I have been taking part in product marketing studies as a way to make some extra cash. It’s been working well. I find them fun and interesting, and I think I’m pretty good at them. There is a caramel candy taste study I hope I am chosen for that is 3 hours long and pays $350. If I can eat caramel for 3 hours, I think I would do it for free.
Anyway, I am always on the lookout for new studies to which I can apply. I saw this one the other day.
It kind of makes me wish I had recurring cold sores (note to self: bad name for a band).
Well, I tried. I really did. I went to my appointment earlier this week and got my mini-physical. Turns out that I’m in excellent health, thank you. Although I’m not sure how good of a physical it really was as they would not let me drop my pants or take off my shirt in the office. I then answered a bunch of questions about my health history before I was ultimately rejected and went home in disgrace. Just to clarify, in disgrace is normally how I return home from everywhere.
That’s right, they didn’t want my donation of blood plasma without a doctor’s note from my dermatologist verifying that she has my skin cancer under control. No problem, right? Uh, actually …
Continue reading “Vampire Resistant”
Tonight I start what I hope will be a series of blood plasma donations. Blood plasma is critically needed to create medicines to treat rare, genetic, and chronic diseases. I first heard about it through my brother-in-law who donates. Of course, he’s also donated one of his kidneys. Show-off. Anyway, here’s an overview if you are interested.
I am fine with all that, but one thing troubles me. I want to specify that my blood plasma only be used to treat Democrats and Independents. Definitely NOT to be used to help Republicans. Am I a bad guy?
I didn’t do a post about my weight loss/gain in March, but I planned to. I was so proud. The 1 single solitary pound I gained in February I was able to lose in March. Big deal, right? Well, for me, it was. I was all set to explain (with pictures!) how I was certain that taking a specific type of walk outside was responsible for losing that 1 single pound in March.
But then April happened. April showers bring May flowers, right? But snow showers? We had several snows at the beginning of April that kept me inside. And when it wasn’t snowing, it seemed to be raining. The clouds parted for a few days, including Easter, but Easter brought with it lots of chocolate. After Easter, it rained some more, sometimes in monsoon-like fashion. Most of my exercise was indoors in April. The pounds piled on unabated. How could I blog proudly about a 1 pound loss in March when I was porking out in April. I was ready to shrug, give up, and just accept what appeared was going to be a 5 pound weight GAIN in April when I got sick. Then the strangest thing happened.
Continue reading “I’m Completely Lost on My Weight Loss Journey”
Like you really care. I’ve been silent for most of this week, and I haven’t even received one “Please Post Soon” card. All I’ve gotten is an overdue gas bill warning me that I’ll be without gas if I don’t pay. As if I would ever be gasless. I wish! So does this Brazilian model.
Although I warned you that there may be changes coming to this blog, at least fart content remains. Full fart story here. Most changes I had planned were pertaining specifically to how this blog looks, content, ads, etc. That hasn’t really worked out as planned. It seems that unless I give WordPress a lot of money each year to “upgrade” this blog, then some desired features are unavailable to me. More money poured into this blog? That’s like investing in WorldCom and ain’t happening.
But there are a couple really good things happening.
Continue reading “Where’ve I Been?”
I need to focus on March for weight loss, because February was a disaster. I gained a pound. On second thought, considering world events, the added pound in February probably doesn’t really qualify as a disaster.
It wasn’t for lack of effort that I gained weight. My steps/cycles remained consistent.
Negating those consistent steps was my love for chocolate and Valentine’s Day intersecting. It would help if my wife bought me chocolate from the dollar store rather than from the fancy-schmancy chocolatier in town. Maybe she loves me so much that she wants there to be more of me to love. Well, in February, she got her wish.
But Valentine’s Day was just one day. That can’t be the whole reason for my weight gain. I think I know what the real reason is though.
Continue reading “My March to Weight Loss”
I was so excited. I was scheduled this week to participate in 2 paid market research studies that involved taste tests. I had found my true calling. It fit my skill set so perfectly. I could sit on my ass, eat and/or drink, use a computer, give my opinion, and get paid for it. I was born for that. I do that at home all the time and never get paid for it.
The first taste test went well. I got to try 2 versions of a berry granola cereal. The first version was skimpy with the berries, and I gave it a thumbs down. The second version was loaded with berries and earned a better rating from me. What I don’t like about berry cereals is the dried berries have a weird texture unless they get softened with milk. It was a timed taste test, so I had to crunch through some of the berries which I didn’t like. I much prefer fresh or thawed frozen berries in my cereal.
At the conclusion, I collected my Visa card loaded with cash and headed home. It sounds like a success, but there was one big problem.
Continue reading “Taste Test Fail”
I’m overweight in February and am thrilled. Why? Certainly not because I gained 5 pounds in December which was the maximum I was allowing myself for the whole winter.
They may have gotten the pronoun wrong in that gif, but that’s me they are talking about. As I reported in my last weighty post, my goal for January was to simply hold the line and not gain any more weight in January. Unlikely? Yes. Who wants to exercise and watch what you eat in the dead of winter? Not me. I want to sit, eat, and watch television while my wife, kids, and neighbors shovel my snow. But it somehow happened. I gave it a week into February to make 100% sure, but I continue to hang in at 5 pounds max gained and may even be heading back down just a bit. I’m thrilled!
Against all odds, my steps actually trended up a bit in January. Take a look.
Continue reading “Feeling Fabulously Fat For February”
I have started a new “career” doing market research studies for cash. So far, I have finished a Medicare study that was not only profitable, but provided me useful information. Next week, I am scheduled for some product taste testing. Yum!
As I review and apply for opportunities, I spotted these two.
Now that’s a lot of money. After seeing those, I can’t help but feel jealous of those with lung cancer and hospitalized with COVID. Am I a bad guy?
It’s been cold here. A blogger I follow recently referred to such bitter cold as Brass Monkey Weather. We’ve had our fill of brass monkey weather recently in the Chicago area. Just yesterday, we endured temps of -14F/-25C. During weather this cold, I like to use our oven as much as I can. After I am done with the oven, I open it a bit and let hot air (not from me) flood the kitchen. I love that feeling of warmth enveloping me. But I can’t anymore since my dog set himself on fire. He’s ruined it for me, because now we have these on the oven.
Continue reading “I’m Not L’oven This Weather”
I shop at a local Aldi store a couple times a month. Never have I received one of these with my fresh produce, but I want to, because, well, someone else got one free.
Of course, this happened in Australia. Where else? They have so many dangerous, deadly creatures there that I think they probably expect to find a scorpion in their vegetables. Here’s the comment from the woman who found the scorpion.
‘I’m happy dealing with caterpillars and bugs in fresh produce but was shocked to see a scorpion crawling around. He was very much alive and very cranky.’
Here’s Aldi’s response:
Continue reading “Where’s My Free Scorpion?”
When last we left our intrepid mites, they were stuck in a laundry hamper. Let’s see if they’ve been able to extricate themselves from that predicament.
He’s always looked somewhat depressed, even as a puppy.
But now, he’s acting out. The other night, in a effort to stem the tide of my winter weight gain, I went to bed without eating even one of the delicious chocolate brownies that my wife had made.
Continue reading “Is My Dog Suicidal or Murderous?”
Every winter for me it is the same. I gain weight. I planned to allow myself 5 pounds of weight gain this winter. However, I never expected I would hit my 5 pound “goal” by the end of December, but there I was, staring at the scale in disbelief at the beginning of 2022. Just a tip for those of you trying to lose weight, sucking in your gut while standing on the scale and staring in disbelief does not reduce your weight.
I delayed writing this until I was sure that the weight gain was a just temporary upward blip. Instead, as I write this, I am certain that my 5 pound weight loss visitor is here for an extended stay. But the good news is that I’m holding steady there and we are over half the way through calendric winter. And instead of thinking that I have gained back 25% of the weight I lost, it helps for me to think that I have gained back 1/16th of the weight I lost 4 times. Seems less to me.
One problem could be my steps took a literal step back in December. Take a look.
Continue reading “Waitlisted for Weight Loss”
Unfortunately, it’s MY home. My 13 year old daughter tested positive for Covid yesterday, and has some symptoms, but not severe. We hope and pray she recovers quickly and fully with no side effects. Get vaccinated and boosted.
Our daughter just got her booster shot Friday, so probably not soon enough to fully protect her. I’m not surprised she got sick. Our local school district is being decimated by Covid at the student and educator level. So far, my wife (an educator in the school district) has escaped a Covid infection, but I figured my daughter would eventually get it. All her friends seem to be getting it. Peer pressure, perhaps?
So, now what? I’ll be spending a lot of time away from my family in my home office and basement, so business as usual for me. I will be stocking up on Covid therapeutics, just in case. Ivermectin? Check! But I do have a question. Will the dewormer Ivermectin work on Covid if you don’t have worms? If not, I’ll have to stock up on worms, too.
Twitter has proven to be a treasure trove of information as to how to treat Covid beyond such commonsense cures like livestock dewormers. I had all I needed for this next one in the kitchen.
Continue reading “COVID Comes Home”
I watched that new movie Don’t Look Up. I didn’t think it was the greatest film ever made, but liked parts of it. Well, so much for the movie review portion of this blog post. One part I found totally unbelievable was when they showed people exercising while watching the news of a giant comet coming to destroy the planet.
If I knew a planet-killing comet was on the way, I would immediately cease all forms of exercise and healthy eating. I would eat myself into a chocolate coma (good name for a band) and await the inevitable destruction. Of course, that would be after I took care of my family by telling them to take shelter in the basement and to keep their grubby mitts off my chocolate.
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 