Want a FREE Apple Watch?

Of course, I won’t be the one giving you a totally FREE Apple Watch. Come on, I’m already offering you an almost free (under a buck!) award-winning book of short stories. But I can point you in the right direction to get a FREE Apple Watch. I have to admit, I was skeptical. But I registered, and this arrived by FedEx.

Yep, a brain health study sent me an Apple Watch, or at least an Apple Watch box. A brain health study studying my brain just drips with irony. I guess they need brains on both ends of the health spectrum. I opened the box to be pleasantly surprised to see …

That’s right, a actual Apple Watch inside, not an Appel Watch. It’s the real deal. Now, there are some strings attached.

• I had to have an iPhone. Sorry, android users.
• I have to wear the Apple Watch. I’m embarrassed to report that I had to use the small (women’s?) band. I have unusually small wrists. I wonder if I can get a handicapped parking placard because of my small wrists.
• I had to sync the Apple Watch to my iPhone.
• I had to download the Intuition app to my iPhone.
• I have to allow them to collect activity data from the app.
• I had to take a series of cognitive tests to get a baseline for my brain health. Remember when Trump was bragging about how he aced a test they use on dementia patients? He wouldn’t stand a chance with these tests. There were no “challenges” like identifying which animal is an elephant. They were more about weird geometric shapes and remembering which weird shape appeared where on the screen. The bottom line for me is that I can recall up to 6 things with no difficulty, up to 8 with maybe 2 attempts, and am lost over 8. Oh, and completely lost if I have to recall where I left my reading glasses.
• I have to earn 100,000 points by doing activities and challenges to keep the Apple Watch and earn cash. After some more baseline questions, I started off with these points.

That sure seems like a long way to go to get to keep the watch. But if you know anything about me or have been following this blog for a while, you should know that I am okay with long-haul challenges. I mean, I’m at 276 Mite Be Funny cartoons and counting. I swam across Lake Michigan last summer. This sham of a blog is pushing 7 years old. I’ve prayed the rosary every day for the past 32 years for a cure for baldness. I will earn the 100,000 points.

The first opportunity to earn points has to been to take their stand “challenge.” I have to stand for at least one minute for at least 12 hours during each day for one week. That doesn’t seem like much of a challenge. What am I in, an iron lung?

So, if you want an Apple Watch, scan the QR code below and sign up. Maybe I get something for the referral or maybe not. I wasn’t paying attention to that part. You know, bad brain health.