A Sweet Deal

I have a new “career” as an independent Product Marketing Consultant. So far I have done “consulting” for companies on a variety of topics such as a cremation website, an anti-virus program, lawn & garden product packaging, Medicare, printer ink, and entertainment streaming services, along with others. Yes, people actually are listening to my opinion and paying me good money for it. In the past, nobody has ever wanted to even hear my opinion, let alone pay me for it. My wife doesn’t want to hear it. My friends don’t want to hear me drone on about this and that and how my soup’s too cold. And my kids certainly have never listened to me. They stuck with listening to their mother. Good choice on their parts.

I had blogged that I was hoping to be chosen for a product marketing study about candy. The candy study was local, paid well, and involved me eating caramel candy.

Exactly, Homer. And then yesterday, I got this text.

Rejoicing, indeed … until I got the follow-up phone call with more information. This is not for a local candy study. I am not required to eat any candy, and no candy will be provided for me to eat. They want to know more about our 13 year old daughter’s candy likes & dislikes. Ugh! It won’t even be my opinion about candy. It will me my opinion about my daughter’s opinion on candy. I guess if they want to pay me for my opinion about my kid’s opinion, who am I to say no to that?

In retrospect, since I am headed to the dentist later today to get a cavity or two filled, it is probably for the best. Maybe I can use the proceeds from the candy study to pay my dental bill. Irony strikes again.

If you want a really sweet deal, buy my hilariously disturbing book of short stories about the afterlife for under a buck! You can’t even get a candy bar for that! Well, maybe a Mounds Bar, but who wants coconut in a candy bar?


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