A Sweet Deal

I have a new “career” as an independent Product Marketing Consultant. So far I have done “consulting” for companies on a variety of topics such as a cremation website, an anti-virus program, lawn & garden product packaging, Medicare, printer ink, and entertainment streaming services, along with others. Yes, people actually are listening to my opinion and paying me good money for it. In the past, nobody has ever wanted to even hear my opinion, let alone pay me for it. My wife doesn’t want to hear it. My friends don’t want to hear me drone on about this and that and how my soup’s too cold. And my kids certainly have never listened to me. They stuck with listening to their mother. Good choice on their parts.

I had blogged that I was hoping to be chosen for a product marketing study about candy. The candy study was local, paid well, and involved me eating caramel candy.

Exactly, Homer. And then yesterday, I got this text.

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No Red Carpet for Me

Is the red carpet at the Academy Awards huge like that kid says? Don’t ask me. It looks like I’ll never know. I should’ve known better than to buy a plane ticket to the 2023 Academy Awards so far in advance. You remember the Oscar I was almost assured of winning? Well, now that’s slipped out of my grasp.

I was cut from the movie. I didn’t even make it onto the cutting room floor. My scene was cut before filming even began. I was given some lame excuse about the restaurant my scene was to be filmed in was no longer available. I suspect it was the dastardly work of one of them jealous Hollyweird types like Matt Damon. He’s very paranoid about anyone else succeeding.

See what I mean? I wasted a whole week experimenting with make-up and mugging into the mirror to practice stealing the scene.

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Where’ve I Been?

Like you really care. I’ve been silent for most of this week, and I haven’t even received one “Please Post Soon” card. All I’ve gotten is an overdue gas bill warning me that I’ll be without gas if I don’t pay. As if I would ever be gasless. I wish! So does this Brazilian model.

Although I warned you that there may be changes coming to this blog, at least fart content remains. Full fart story here. Most changes I had planned were pertaining specifically to how this blog looks, content, ads, etc. That hasn’t really worked out as planned. It seems that unless I give WordPress a lot of money each year to “upgrade” this blog, then some desired features are unavailable to me. More money poured into this blog? That’s like investing in WorldCom and ain’t happening.

But there are a couple really good things happening.

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Taste Test Fail

I was so excited. I was scheduled this week to participate in 2 paid market research studies that involved taste tests. I had found my true calling. It fit my skill set so perfectly. I could sit on my ass, eat and/or drink, use a computer, give my opinion, and get paid for it. I was born for that. I do that at home all the time and never get paid for it.

The first taste test went well. I got to try 2 versions of a berry granola cereal. The first version was skimpy with the berries, and I gave it a thumbs down. The second version was loaded with berries and earned a better rating from me. What I don’t like about berry cereals is the dried berries have a weird texture unless they get softened with milk. It was a timed taste test, so I had to crunch through some of the berries which I didn’t like. I much prefer fresh or thawed frozen berries in my cereal.

At the conclusion, I collected my Visa card loaded with cash and headed home. It sounds like a success, but there was one big problem.

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Another Edition of … Am I a Bad Guy?

I have started a new “career” doing market research studies for cash. So far, I have finished a Medicare study that was not only profitable, but provided me useful information. Next week, I am scheduled for some product taste testing. Yum!

As I review and apply for opportunities, I spotted these two.

Now that’s a lot of money. After seeing those, I can’t help but feel jealous of those with lung cancer and hospitalized with COVID. Am I a bad guy?