Jim Flanigan Looks at the World
Turning the Mundane into Fundane Since 2015
The current leader of the free world, German Chancellor Angela Merkel asks Donald Trump if colored pictures would help him understand the material presented at the G7 Summit. Meanwhile, a walrus inexplicably appears over Trump’s right shoulder.
First, apologies to monkeys. I did not want to drag you into the swamp called the Trump administration, but I was missing a title and that one seemed appropriate and did not require much thought.
By now, you may have seen this.
I just wish Trump had also tried kissing Melania. Would Pence have tried, too? Probably not as Melania I am sure would have fended off Trump’s amorous attempt. She has been able to protect herself from less so far that we have seen …
The Jim Flanigan Looks at the World investigative team of reporters, grifters and Joel Osteen followers is pleased to break the news (and some wind) that the Kim – Trump summit will not happen on June 12th. Details follow.
I hate to bring you the bad news, but the regularly scheduled blog post featuring information about my toenails has been bumped again to tomorrow. I can understand and support your decision to never read this blog again if you are that upset by these scheduling changes or are simply sick of this blog. There are days that I never want to post again. The reason for this schedule change is special. It is an opportunity to pull back the curtain and get to know me a little too well in a way that we will both feel very uncomfortable. I’m featured on a YouTube video …
Yeah, yeah, I know the title is misspelled. Par for the course, right. Hmm, I wonder what this post might be ultimately about.
Today’s normally scheduled post which does contain a reference to my toenails has been bumped to tomorrow in lieu of a Special Jim Flanigan Looks at the World Investigation. We were simply not satisfied that the Donald Trump – Kim Jong Un summit in June was canceled because North Korea called Mike Pence a dummy. They certainly did call him that, but no harm since everyone knows he is a dummy. That is no reason to cancel a summit that will legitimize a brutal dictator. We looked further and this is what we uncovered …
This is a perfect example of the reason I gave up trying to do funny, phony Trump tweets …
I found myself wishing business associates this past week that they have a “great holiday weekend.” Uh-oh. I didn’t say “Happy Memorial Day.” I hope I have not started a War on Memorial Day like there is on Christmas according to Donald Trump and Fox News. But Happy Memorial Day? That always seemed weird to me since Memorial Day is supposed to be a solemn day of remembrance for those who died while serving in the US Armed Forces. Instead, we get the grill fired up to char some meat, swill beer and yuk it up with friends and family. How solemn is that? Are people who do that unpatriotic? Yes, I think so. Anyone who engages in any non-solemn activity on Memorial Day is as unpatriotic as the NFL players who will be fined for taking a knee during the National Anthem at football games this upcoming season. Backyard grillers – I’m watching you. Beer drinkers – you are on notice. Joke tellers – knock it off. OK, I guess that covers 99% of the USA on Memorial Day. It might not hurt all of us to follow the lead of NFL players and take a knee on Memorial Day to remember those that have fallen in service to this country.
I’m happy to provide just a little background at no cost to you about taking a knee. Ex-NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick met with Nate Boyer, a retired Green Beret who suggested that in the military, taking a knee is a sign of respect for the fallen. That’s why Kaepernick took a knee rather than sit. Fake News you say? Here’s Nate Boyer on CNN talking about it …
Looks to me like it may be unpatriotic to not take a knee.
Hindsight always seems to be 20/20. No, not this kind of hindsight …
I’m talking about looking back and rethinking decisions. For example, take Hawaii, please …
Once Trumpatized 2018 v2.0 was released, I was pretty sure I was just a few million downloads away from easy street, fame and fortune. How was I going to get a few million downloads? I figured I’d start with one million and work my way up from there. I wasn’t so sure about how to do that, except I was certain that all of you reading this would not be a huge help. Geez, it’s like pulling teeth to just get a “Like” on some of these posts, probably because reading some of my posts is like getting a tooth pulled. I had to find a way to get that song to go viral, although I was willing to settle for bacterial.
I decided on promotion. I have heard that there is no such thing as bad publicity, so I considered a really random act of stupidity that would get national attention, but the office of President is already filled. What? It’s working for him.
I tried more traditional methods and shopped the song around to some progressive media outlets. The response was incredible. No wait, I typed that wrong. The response was inaudible, except for these guys …
I am literally risking my life by writing this blog post. That is not a lie, but surely an exaggeration. My wife has told me a million zillion times not to exaggerate. How am I supposed to write this blog if I don’t? But I am under doctor’s orders to not travel (business trip canceled), do not exert myself (what I do best), don’t type (you, the reader, would surely benefit) and see him 2 more times after already seeing him 2 times since Monday. People may soon start to talk. And it all stems from waking up to this on Tuesday …
For someone who touts himself as the King of the Dealmakers, Trump sure seems to only be able to kill deals. His bestseller The Art Of The Deal may require a little rewrite.
I could be heading back to Middle School this week, of course except for the ones the judge has ordered me to stay 500 feet away from. You can come with, too. Meet me in Elkhart, Indiana on Thursday night! Elkhart is just a 2 hour drive east of Chicago by car, but at least 50 years behind Chicago in thought.
About a month ago, I introduced you to the rap song that I thought would send me to the Grammy Awards to pick up some hardware for Best New Artist or Whitest New Artist, one of those two. Feel free to take a listen again to Trumpatized 2018 v1.0. Heck, I even picked out a rap name to use.
That has not worked out as planned. Nobody is interested and my wife refuses to call me by my rap name of J-Saggy. And then it (or my wife, I’m really not sure which) hit me. If v1.0 failed, it couldn’t be because of the content and brilliant lyrics. The reason had to be because a Canadian recorded it. This country is so intent on making America great again that new music coming from Canada will likely be ignored. There was only one solution …
The cable news stations are all over the story alleging that White House Chief of Staff John Kelly has been calling Donald Trump an idiot. That’s really not much of a story. The real story would be to find someone, anyone, part of the Trump administration who hasn’t called Trump an idiot. C’mon, who wants a Pulitzer? Find someone.
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 