Continue reading “Flies On Washington Walls #132” →
Flies On Washington Walls #132
Author: Jim Flanigan
Nothing Works in Winter
I hate winter weather.
Nothing works as it is supposed to work. I already shared with you how my tree is not working.
Isn’t that branch supposed to be reaching up toward the sky with birds sitting on the branches and chirping?
OK, so maybe not that many birds.
And now another thing with the house is not working …
Thanks Trump, for Wasting our Time
I have invented a time-saving grammar innovation to help revolutionize the world. However, due to Donald Trump, I can’t implement it across the USA. I will explain.
We’re always wasting time. A good example is this blog. I wasted time writing this post, and now I’m wasting your time as you read it. You’re welcome! Sure, an easy solution would be for me to stop blogging. How many of you have asked the question, “Why does he keep writing that drivel?”
Hey, that was rhetorical. Hands down please.
I wondered if there wasn’t another way to save time so I could still waste time with this blog. I set to work on a solution.
But I couldn’t come up with anything because the room was full of floating mathematical equations. Geez, those are annoying.
Donut Disturb
I went to grab a chocolate donut from the pantry and discovered this abomination …
There’s No Business Like Snow Business
We got hit by a blizzard last night. It did not result in a Norman Rockwellesque view like this …
I mean, we got rid of our oxen in 2017.
It did result in a scene like this …
Mite Be Funny #93
A Father’s Fantasy Love
My team’s fortunes in my Trump-lover-filled family’s fantasy football league have taken a turn for the better since changing my team name and logo to the Blue Wavers.
My team continues to win and finds itself sitting 1 game out of the last playoff spot with 2 games left to play in the regular season. Call it superstition or stupidity (they may actually be used interchangeably), but I am keeping my team name as Blue Wavers for another week as long as the wins keep piling up. However, the team is now Blue Wavers 38 as even more House seats have fallen to Democrats amounting to a net gain of 38 House seats. How are these election results still coming in? Do they have preschoolers hand-counting the ballots?
But my fatherly love was tested thanks to my fantasy football team this week.
Happy Thanksgiving?
This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that we can still post biting political cartoons like this one I saw on Twitter thanks to Claude Taylor @TrueFactsStated …
But for how much longer will it be legal to post cartoons like this? Who knows as our Judicial system and Free Press are both under attack by Trump.
As I added meta tags to this post (for search engine use), I became saddened that I didn’t have to spellcheck the name Jamal Khashoggi. RIP. In the above cartoon, the Saudi crown prince is shown holding the sword. Next time will it be Trump?
I’m also sad that there is still a need to post these types of cartoons. Give thanks today. Then Persist to Resist.
Down the Drain
Many of you will be traveling over this Thanksgiving weekend.
Meanwhile, I’ll be stuffing my pie hole with, well, pie I guess since I don’t eat turkey.
But I did travel last week, and while I sent you a scintillating story about my hotel room’s light switch, I did not blather in this blog about my bathtub in my other hotel room. It was something special, and something I did not expect from a Super 8. Take a look …
Continue reading “Down the Drain”
Flies On Washington Walls #131
Twitter > Facebook? Um, Maybe Not.
I have purged my Facebook successfully of all ridiculous, right wing, conspiracy theory posts. I just don’t see them anymore. I now see all sorts of cute kitty and animal videos.
Now there’s a clickbait gif if I ever saw it. I still get new Facebook friend requests daily from people I don’t know, but it is easy enough to delete those.
I thought Twitter would be better than Facebook. Then I see a tweet like this …
Mite Be Funny #92 – Giant Thanksgiving Multi-Panel Edition
Math is not a Fantasy
I thought that my family fantasy football team name last week, Blue Waves, would be my last team name and cool looking logo for the season.
My season was over. I have a terrible team. I spent way too much time working on the mid-term election and not enough time on a small, inconsequential, low dollar family fantasy football league. Thanks Obama. I had had some fun poking my Trump-loving family members in the league. They poked back in jest with Trumpy team names of their own. They didn’t understand that there actually was a Blue Wave. One of my nephews named his team the Blue Puddles. Does he not understand basic math concepts of whole numbers and greater than & less than? And then this happened …
Flip the Switch
I’m on the road again and was surprised when I tried to turn on the light over the sink in my hotel room.
That was Marty Feldman as Igor in the fabulous movie Young Frankenstein. Full disclosure here. After hours of driving, I did not look as good as Marty Feldman did in that movie.
I really looked more like this …
Flies On Washington Walls #130
In a Jam Over Jelly
Yesterday, my wife was grousing about not enough grape jelly being left in the jar to make her peanut butter & jelly sandwich. I made the mistake of pointing out that there were other jelly flavors in the refrigerator. I guess “ew” is my wife’s official positions on jelly flavors other than grape. I made the mistake of offering up yet another suggestion, this time to scrape out the grape jelly accumulated right under the rim. Apparently, the under-the-rim jelly is gross, even though it is grape. I pressed my luck and suggested to my wife that she is a food elitist. She mentioned that she is not the person in the house that has eaten from the garbage, not so subtly suggesting that would be me. She’s right about me and garbage food, but I also think she proved my point that she’s the food elitist. Garbage is one of my favorite food groups. “You aren’t going to throw that out” is my favorite line at home. Well, she is at least as much of a food elitist as anyone can be who eats peanut butter & jelly sandwiches.
My Fave Faves – Condensed Album Edition
I killed the blog series I called My Fave Faves as quickly as I started it once I realized that even I didn’t care about what I was writing. But thanks to my oldest son, it is back for a curtain call in a slightly different form. My son is part of creating a music podcast called Ear Buds.
I was featured on the 4th episode with my review of a Dan Auerbach (of the Black Keys) song called King of a One Horse Town. Spoiler Alert: Loved it! If you have iTunes, you can access that podcast through this LINK. Choose podcast #31 (which is really #4) called My Dad Is Not A Twitter Bot and you can access my song review at the 8:10 mark, which also happens to be my son’s name. Mark, not 8:10, although Mark 8:10 sounds very New Testamenty and religious. If you listen to the podcast, you will hear that my reviews were supposed to be a recurring feature. At my son’s request, I did write one more for a Greta Van Fleet song. Never aired. They lied. I’m as upset about that as an old man ordering salad at a restaurant that serves chunkless, runny blue cheese salad dressing. Gross. Gotta’ have chunks.
Recently, my son asked me for 3 to 5 of my favorite all-time albums, and not greatest hits collections. That was not going to be possible. I could not help him out. Why?
Mite Be Funny #91
Reality Trumps Fantasy
I really enjoy playing fantasy football. Over the past 28 or so years of participating, I have won more than I’ve lost. I wanted a win badly on Tuesday. I got it, but not from the Stoned Back Tattoos in my family’s fantasy football league.
No, my Roger Stone-inspired team took another loss. The win I am talking about on Tuesday was this …
420 Reasons JB is OK
As a Democratic Precinct Committeeperson, I worked for the election of billionaire JB Pritzker as Governor of Illinois. He won. I received no monetary remuneration for my work, despite the whole billionaire thing. I did get some tickets to go see President Obama speak last week, courtesy of the JB Pritzker campaign.
It was a 3PM rally with doors opening at 1:30PM. I didn’t need to sit close. I figured I would stroll in about 2:55PM and sit in an upper deck seat. Nope. It was suggested to me that I best be in line at noon … in the cold … in the rain … with my 10 year old, because of this fine print …
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 