Flies On Washington Walls #133
Tag: humor
I’m Being Followed
I’m not yet very experienced in Twitter. I’m in the process of emerging from my Facebook chrysalis, and my Twitter wings are still wet. So when I saw that it looks like I’m being followed on Twitter by one of the most ruthless mobsters from the most famous crime family in the USA, I was not pleased. I didn’t panic. I didn’t delete all my tweets. I did clean out my 401K, but that was simply to pay a delinquent gas bill. Sorry, but just not a dedicated saver here and the weather is downright cold.
This is the Twitter notification I saw that sent chills through my body, or maybe it was that our gas heat had been shut off for going on 3 days now. Continue reading “I’m Being Followed”
Rudolph, The Lame-Ass Lawyer
Rudy Giuliani was born as Rudolph Giuliani. Yesterday’s holiday-themed post featured a Giuliani tweet, and it got me thinking of a festive holiday parody song featuring him. No, not White Power Christmas, Arrest Ye Guilty Gentlemen, or even O Flip All Ye Guilty. I’m talking about …
Wait, what? You know already? Oh right, the damn title of this blog post. So much for suspense, and the same goes for Mike Pence. Sorry, been doing too much rhyming. Without further ado, here is Rudolph, The Lame-Ass Lawyer.
God Bless Twitter
I am so thankful for Twitter. Now I know how I want my Christmas lights to look this year …
Doesn’t that arouse inside of you a desire to come and see the climax of my Christmas decorating? But that’s not all the holiday decorating that Twitter has inspired.
Every year I do a Nativity on Ice, but it is always so difficult putting skates on the dog. Who else is going to play the role of the ass in the stable? Don’t answer that. Regardless, instead of a Nativity on Ice this season, thanks to Twitter, I am inspired to do … Continue reading “God Bless Twitter”
Mite Be Funny #94
RIP George H.W. Bush
I’m going to put most of my snarkiness aside today and take a day off to mourn the passing of former President George Herbert Walker Bush.
I didn’t always like his politics, but I always believed he was an honorable man and a patriot. However, I cannot completely forgive him for resembling his son, George W Bush, in that picture above.
I hope this “man” will not be invited to the funeral, and if he is, certainly not allowed to speak.
Flies On Washington Walls #132
Nothing Works in Winter
I hate winter weather.
Nothing works as it is supposed to work. I already shared with you how my tree is not working.
Isn’t that branch supposed to be reaching up toward the sky with birds sitting on the branches and chirping?
OK, so maybe not that many birds.
And now another thing with the house is not working …
Thanks Trump, for Wasting our Time
I have invented a time-saving grammar innovation to help revolutionize the world. However, due to Donald Trump, I can’t implement it across the USA. I will explain.
We’re always wasting time. A good example is this blog. I wasted time writing this post, and now I’m wasting your time as you read it. You’re welcome! Sure, an easy solution would be for me to stop blogging. How many of you have asked the question, “Why does he keep writing that drivel?”
Hey, that was rhetorical. Hands down please.
I wondered if there wasn’t another way to save time so I could still waste time with this blog. I set to work on a solution.
But I couldn’t come up with anything because the room was full of floating mathematical equations. Geez, those are annoying.
Donut Disturb
I went to grab a chocolate donut from the pantry and discovered this abomination …
There’s No Business Like Snow Business
We got hit by a blizzard last night. It did not result in a Norman Rockwellesque view like this …
I mean, we got rid of our oxen in 2017.
It did result in a scene like this …
Mite Be Funny #93
A Father’s Fantasy Love
My team’s fortunes in my Trump-lover-filled family’s fantasy football league have taken a turn for the better since changing my team name and logo to the Blue Wavers.
My team continues to win and finds itself sitting 1 game out of the last playoff spot with 2 games left to play in the regular season. Call it superstition or stupidity (they may actually be used interchangeably), but I am keeping my team name as Blue Wavers for another week as long as the wins keep piling up. However, the team is now Blue Wavers 38 as even more House seats have fallen to Democrats amounting to a net gain of 38 House seats. How are these election results still coming in? Do they have preschoolers hand-counting the ballots?
But my fatherly love was tested thanks to my fantasy football team this week.
Happy Thanksgiving?
This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that we can still post biting political cartoons like this one I saw on Twitter thanks to Claude Taylor @TrueFactsStated …
But for how much longer will it be legal to post cartoons like this? Who knows as our Judicial system and Free Press are both under attack by Trump.
As I added meta tags to this post (for search engine use), I became saddened that I didn’t have to spellcheck the name Jamal Khashoggi. RIP. In the above cartoon, the Saudi crown prince is shown holding the sword. Next time will it be Trump?
I’m also sad that there is still a need to post these types of cartoons. Give thanks today. Then Persist to Resist.
Down the Drain
Many of you will be traveling over this Thanksgiving weekend.
Meanwhile, I’ll be stuffing my pie hole with, well, pie I guess since I don’t eat turkey.
But I did travel last week, and while I sent you a scintillating story about my hotel room’s light switch, I did not blather in this blog about my bathtub in my other hotel room. It was something special, and something I did not expect from a Super 8. Take a look …
Continue reading “Down the Drain”
Flies On Washington Walls #131
Twitter > Facebook? Um, Maybe Not.
I have purged my Facebook successfully of all ridiculous, right wing, conspiracy theory posts. I just don’t see them anymore. I now see all sorts of cute kitty and animal videos.
Now there’s a clickbait gif if I ever saw it. I still get new Facebook friend requests daily from people I don’t know, but it is easy enough to delete those.
I thought Twitter would be better than Facebook. Then I see a tweet like this …
Mite Be Funny #92 – Giant Thanksgiving Multi-Panel Edition
Math is not a Fantasy
I thought that my family fantasy football team name last week, Blue Waves, would be my last team name and cool looking logo for the season.
My season was over. I have a terrible team. I spent way too much time working on the mid-term election and not enough time on a small, inconsequential, low dollar family fantasy football league. Thanks Obama. I had had some fun poking my Trump-loving family members in the league. They poked back in jest with Trumpy team names of their own. They didn’t understand that there actually was a Blue Wave. One of my nephews named his team the Blue Puddles. Does he not understand basic math concepts of whole numbers and greater than & less than? And then this happened …
Flip the Switch
I’m on the road again and was surprised when I tried to turn on the light over the sink in my hotel room.
That was Marty Feldman as Igor in the fabulous movie Young Frankenstein. Full disclosure here. After hours of driving, I did not look as good as Marty Feldman did in that movie.
I really looked more like this …
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 