Tag: health

Feeling Fabulously Fat For February

~ Jim Flanigan

I’m overweight in February and am thrilled. Why? Certainly not because I gained 5 pounds in December which was the maximum I was allowing myself for the whole winter.

They may have gotten the pronoun wrong in that gif, but that’s me they are talking about. As I reported in my last weighty post, my goal for January was to simply hold the line and not gain any more weight in January. Unlikely? Yes. Who wants to exercise and watch what you eat in the dead of winter? Not me. I want to sit, eat, and watch television while my wife, kids, and neighbors shovel my snow. But it somehow happened. I gave it a week into February to make 100% sure, but I continue to hang in at 5 pounds max gained and may even be heading back down just a bit. I’m thrilled!

Against all odds, my steps actually trended up a bit in January. Take a look.

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Another Edition of … Am I a Bad Guy?

~ Jim Flanigan

I have started a new “career” doing market research studies for cash. So far, I have finished a Medicare study that was not only profitable, but provided me useful information. Next week, I am scheduled for some product taste testing. Yum!

As I review and apply for opportunities, I spotted these two.

Now that’s a lot of money. After seeing those, I can’t help but feel jealous of those with lung cancer and hospitalized with COVID. Am I a bad guy?

I’m Not L’oven This Weather

~ Jim Flanigan

It’s been cold here. A blogger I follow recently referred to such bitter cold as Brass Monkey Weather. We’ve had our fill of brass monkey weather recently in the Chicago area. Just yesterday, we endured temps of -14F/-25C. During weather this cold, I like to use our oven as much as I can. After I am done with the oven, I open it a bit and let hot air (not from me) flood the kitchen. I love that feeling of warmth enveloping me. But I can’t anymore since my dog set himself on fire. He’s ruined it for me, because now we have these on the oven.

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Where’s My Free Scorpion?

~ Jim Flanigan

I shop at a local Aldi store a couple times a month. Never have I received one of these with my fresh produce, but I want to, because, well, someone else got one free.

Of course, this happened in Australia. Where else? They have so many dangerous, deadly creatures there that I think they probably expect to find a scorpion in their vegetables. Here’s the comment from the woman who found the scorpion.

‘I’m happy dealing with caterpillars and bugs in fresh produce but was shocked to see a scorpion crawling around. He was very much alive and very cranky.’

Here’s Aldi’s response:

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Waitlisted for Weight Loss

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 3 Comments

Every winter for me it is the same. I gain weight. I planned to allow myself 5 pounds of weight gain this winter. However, I never expected I would hit my 5 pound “goal” by the end of December, but there I was, staring at the scale in disbelief at the beginning of 2022. Just a tip for those of you trying to lose weight, sucking in your gut while standing on the scale and staring in disbelief does not reduce your weight.

I delayed writing this until I was sure that the weight gain was a just temporary upward blip. Instead, as I write this, I am certain that my 5 pound weight loss visitor is here for an extended stay. But the good news is that I’m holding steady there and we are over half the way through calendric winter. And instead of thinking that I have gained back 25% of the weight I lost, it helps for me to think that I have gained back 1/16th of the weight I lost 4 times. Seems less to me.

One problem could be my steps took a literal step back in December. Take a look.

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Don’t Look Up & Definitely Don’t Exercise

~ Jim Flanigan

I watched that new movie Don’t Look Up. I didn’t think it was the greatest film ever made, but liked parts of it. Well, so much for the movie review portion of this blog post. One part I found totally unbelievable was when they showed people exercising while watching the news of a giant comet coming to destroy the planet.

If I knew a planet-killing comet was on the way, I would immediately cease all forms of exercise and healthy eating. I would eat myself into a chocolate coma (good name for a band) and await the inevitable destruction. Of course, that would be after I took care of my family by telling them to take shelter in the basement and to keep their grubby mitts off my chocolate.

My Positive Christmas COVID Test

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

Before starting our Christmas festivities with family, we all tested for Covid as some in the family are immunocompromised. We used nasal swab home test kits.

The store was out of the rectal test versions that I prefer. Anyway, with these nasal tests, one red line means you are negative for Covid, and two red lines mean you got the Covid.

Pretty simple, right? I was grateful that my test yielded only one red line. But what did what was underneath mean? Take a look.

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My Weight Loss Waterloo

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

I took a couple weeks after November ended to determine if I had lost a weight loss battle or the entire war. The month of November was certainly my weight loss Waterloo, and I don’t mean the city of Waterloo in Iowa, home of the Sistene Chapel reproduced in spray paint on the walls and ceiling of a warehouse turned into a restaurant that is now closed. Thanks, Covid.

No, I’m talking about Napoleon’s Waterloo where he lost his final battle while also gaining 5 pounds thanks to a cheesecake binge. I lost a major weight loss battle in November. Fat cells are now occupying my liver, and they are threatening to invade my pancreas unless their demands for sugared sodas and cake are met. However, I may not have lost the war. Signs in December are positive about returning to or close to my goal weight I met over the summer.

I can break November into 2 distinct halves. The first half of November was characterized by 4 things:

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He Had a Great Fall

~ Jim Flanigan

Can you tell me why it is always men, not women, who we hear about ending up in the hospital with things stuck up their backsides? The men always seem to “fall” perfectly onto the item that then gets lodged up their bum. I’m using a British term for derriere since the man in this story is from the UK. Here’s the latest story that UK readers may have already heard about.

Rectum??? It probably almost killed him. Full story link here. If you don’t want to click the link, here are some dimensions to ponder. The mortar shell removed from his tushie was 170mm/6.69″ long and a robust 57mm/2.24″ in diameter. It was designed to penetrate a tank’s armor. This is a good spot to add any lowbrow joke of your own. I have already exceeded my limit. Anyway, you know the old saying, “The mortar the merrier.”

Preventing Covid is Oozy

~ Jim Flanigan

I should warn you, this is going to be a long post. Wait, wait, don’t click away. It’ll be long, but with lots of pictures including one of our new puppy dog. Whew, I think I saved a few of you from ditching me and this post.

I rarely do a post like this one. It’ll be chock full ‘o pics from the television, or if you’re in the UK, the telly. I usually reason that if you wanted to see the program, you would have watched it yourself, and you don’t need to see me regurgitate a program that you chose not to watch. Gee, I may not be doing a good job of selling this post. Did I mention our new puppy’s pic is coming?

The show I watched was The Rachel Maddow Show. Some folks call her the liberal version of Tucker Carlson or Sean Hannity. I call her a smarty-pants who uses actual verifiable facts rather than conjecture, fear-mongering, and lies, also known as the staples of those named Fox News hosts.

Anyway, she was trying to help people again last night. Specifically, she warned against these practices …

Those are very bad ideas. I don’t have much experience with iodine, but I have extensive experience with hydrogen peroxide. As a self-licensed dermatist, I use a hydrogen peroxide solution to chemically burn seborrheic keratosis spots off myself. This is the result of one such session on my forehead.

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Thanksgiving Weekend Blues

~ Jim Flanigan

Here in the USA, we just finished a 4 day holiday weekend. Some people still call it Thanksgiving, but as a Democrat, George Soros pays me to refer to the holiday as Pre-Slaughter of Indigineous People Day.

Anyway, I’ve had better holiday weekends. Since I received my Covid booster 10 days ago, I’ve been sick with respiratory symptoms. Do you think maybe that when I asked for my Covid shot, they actually injected me with the Covid virus? Did I need to be more specific that I wanted the Covid vaccine, not the virus? So, I was a bit logy on Thanksgiving when our kids came over. They couldn’t tell the difference.

I was disappointed in my oldest daughter on Thanksgiving. No, it wasn’t because her pasta was a bit too peppery, although it was. It was because she didn’t notice Yorick. You remember Yorick, right, my new real human skull? My wife, who has a keen eye for design decor, suggested I move Yorick to the other side of our fireplace mantle to provide more balance and symmetry. It works!

My daughter didn’t notice, and when I pointed out Yorick, she was appalled. And yet, she’s the same daughter who visited the catacombs in Paris to see the ossuaries packed with bones and skulls. When I visited Vienna, I headed underground to see the same thing. I figured she was a chip off the old block. Turns out that my daughter thinks that human remains should be kept underground and not passed around the family room. Looks like I raised an elitist!

I did feel a bit better yesterday, so my wife and I went out to dinner to celebrate our wedding anniversary. I was leaning toward a private, heated, plastic bubble at this restaurant.

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Band on the Run?

~ Jim Flanigan

I know the world is sick of Covid, and everything is opening back up, despite breakthrough cases of Covid continuing to take the lives of double-vaccinated people who thought they were safe. I’m slowly trying to safely head back out into this weird, new, masked Covidy world. I recently went to an outdoor football game, and I went to a basketball game in a big indoor arena. I felt safer outdoors at the football game, but the seats at the basketball game were positioned in such a way that I felt okay about being there. But indoor restaurants? No, thank you. I’ll take the food to go.

I enjoyed safely meeting with friends over the summer at restaurants with outdoor patios. But last night, it was below freezing out, and I was scheduled to have dinner with friends. What do we do? We decided to head to a place with an outdoor patio that they wrap in plastic and keep cozy with overhead and tableside heaters. Even better, live music was scheduled for last night.

They looked fun and upbeat with an indie-artist vibe to them, sort of a cleaner-cut version of the Strumbellas from Canada. Take a look and you decide.

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Sorry to Make You Weight

~ Jim Flanigan

My exercise, health, and weight loss posts are generally my most viewed posts, so why would I wait until the middle of November to report on how I did in October? I guess it’s basically because I don’t care that much about what happened. There, I said it, and it feels good. I made my goal weight over the summer. When I sit in those special chairs at the pharmacy that take my pulse, measure my blood pressure, weigh me, and check my Body Mass Index, I no longer get the flashing warning to stand up before I break the chair. I’m now in maintenance mode.

Maintenance mode is not very exciting, and I don’t have much to report. I may have been able to lose more weight in early October as the weather was quite good to start the month. I probably could have left my pool up and swam until mid-October, but I didn’t. I walked and biked as usual, but my steps do show a slight seasonal reduction.

And that is because good mental health is key to good physical health. In the middle of October, the weather took a nasty turn for the worse, as did my mental health. I deal with SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder, so I had to adjust my supplements and start doing this a lot.

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Take My DNA, Please!

~ Jim Flanigan

I love the “doctors” the anti-vaxxers/maskers roll out. Here’s one of those “doctors” with some unique views on Covid nasal swabs.

Thanks, Dr. Wolf! Now where is it that Dr. Wolf practices medicine? Oops, she doesn’t. It’s not that she’s so good at medicine that she no longer needs to practice. It’s that she’s NOT a medical doctor, but has a doctorate of philosophy. So, when you see these anti-vax/mask/swab “doctors” dispensing bad advice, just understand that they could be a doctor of thinkology like Dr. Wolf, and have zero experience in medicine.

As for DNA harvesting, even my kids don’t want my DNA, so why in hell would the Chinese want to harvest my DNA? They can have all they want. Why would I care? Are they going to clone me? Great! Give my clone an opportunity to be a better me the second time around in Beijing.

The lesson that we should learn is to beware when you encounter a Wolf in doctor’s clothing. I mean, even this lying, anti-vax/mask Covidiot has an honorary doctorate.

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Working the Bugs Out

~ Jim Flanigan

I was cool with the tracking microchips in the COVID vaccine, just in case I wander off and get lost. But the aluminum aliens in the vaccine reported in a recent blog post proved too much for me. I thought it was maybe a random crazy story, which of course I blogged about as fact, but there’s even more reporting on it here.

In addition to running TruNews, which appears to be banned from most social media for some reason, Rick Wiles is an evangelical pastor! They’re not allowed to lie, right? Sure, he wants $100 million to build an end-times media empire, but who can blame him? I’d build an end-times media empire, too, if someone wanted to give me $100 million.

Anyhoo, something had to go. I know aluminum is non-magnetic, so I thought I’d focus on the microchip rather than the aluminum alien. I had seen videos of people becoming magnetized from the vaccine, so I figured that the microchips were probably the source of the magnetism. In order to find the magnetic microchip, I put spinach on my vaccinated arm. Why spinach? Duh, spinach is high in iron, and iron is magnetic. I shook my arm, and I decided the microchip was probably located in my arm where a leaf stayed (magnetically, I assume) stuck to my arm. All sounds logical, right?

My next step was to find a doctor who was an open thinker like me and willing to remove my microchip.

The operation was a success, and this is what my arm is sporting today.

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Riding the Weight Loss Rollercoaster

~ Jim Flanigan

I’m very late reporting on my weight loss trials and travails for September. I shouldn’t be late with these weight loss posts as they are my most popular posts on this blog. I think it’s because despite differences in politics, religion, etc., we all share the same struggle with weight control, except for those naturally skinny people with self control who never have to exercise. Oh, I hate them so much. Anyway, here we go, better late than never.

When I last posted about weight, I was 3 lbs below my goal weight at the end of August. Success, right? Well, not exactly. September turned cool, my swimming stopped, and my body started to get ready for a winter hibernation by eating everything in sight. I immediately re-reached my goal weight from the opposite direction and shot up above it by several pounds. That’s just how my body works. It doesn’t matter that my steps were strong again in September.

Geez, wouldn’t you think I would make a little extra effort to average 10K steps? Anyway, my body’s metabolism just slows down in cooler weather, maybe to get ready for my winter hibernation? I would be willing to give hibernation a try as I like long naps. Fortunately, the weather warmed again and some of the weight came off. Right at the end of September, my weight had come down to below my goal weight again, but seemed to be heading up. I waited to see what would happen. Well, here’s what happened.

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Weighting for More

~ Jim Flanigan

How many pounds of weight lost is too many? For me, I’m not sure that number exists. If you recall from my post about July weight loss, I had made my original weight loss goal. It took me over a year to lose 20 pounds. I still felt puffy, so I figured I would continue on. But continue what? I’m not on a diet. I just eat right. I had even cut back a bit on exercise from last year, although I still posted a respectable average daily step/bike crank total in August.

After swimming 9 miles in July, I scaled back to 7 miles in August. So how did I lose 3 more pounds in August? I don’t have COVID or any other deadly disease. I’m starting to think it may have to do with one of the two mystery supplements I started taking at the beginning of June. They weren’t a mystery to me, but I have been teasing them a bit in this blog. Well, it’s time for their big reveal.

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