Tag: funny

Not in Her House

~ Jim Flanigan

The back & forth has been fascinating to watch.

  • Donald Trump accepts Nancy Pelosi’s invitation to make a State of the Union address.
  • Pelosi rescinds the invite due to security concerns during the government shutdown.
  • Trump says he is coming anyway to make the speech.
  • Pelosi advises him that he is not coming without a concurrent resolution that her House will not pass.
  • Trump looks dumbfounded when informed about needing a concurrent resolution.

People have used the analogy that Trump is playing checkers while Special Counsel Robert Mueller is playing chess. That may or may not be. If Trump and Pelosi are both playing chess, Queen Pelosi is chasing King Trump across the board, putting him in check with every move she makes.

I don’t put it past Trump to just show up. If he does, I think this may be the result.

pelosi gavel.gif

Thanks to @Tarquin_Helmet on Twitter for his movie that became that cute gif.

Bad Sign

~ Jim Flanigan

After a relatively mild December and first half of January, winter has arrived with a vengeance normally not seen unless I catch that I have been overcharged 20 cents for a can of soup at the grocery store. We got pounded last night with freezing rain that then turned into wet, heavy snow commonly referred to ’round these parts as The Widowmaker.

Is it a bad sign if my family encourages me to shovel fast to see if I can beat my record time?

An AOK MLK Day

~ Jim Flanigan

I hope you had a good Dr. Martin Luther King Jr Day. I took some of the day off, and I hauled my 10 year old and her friend to an arcade where they could pretend they were somewhere else, anywhere else than with me, until it came time to recharge their gaming cards.

10 at d&b

Also today, Donald Trump and Mike Pence surprised everyone with an unscheduled visit to take a minute to lay a wreath at the memorial to Dr. Martin Luther King. That was it. A minute. No words. No service projects. One quick wreath. The house cartoonist for Mad Dog PAC, @repeat1968, offered up this cartoon on Twitter to perfectly memorialize the event.

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Super Blood Wolf Moon

~ Jim Flanigan

I was excited. The moon was full. There was an eclipse coming. The moon was supposed to turn the color of blood. And somehow wolves were involved because it was happening in the month of January. I was howling with excitement as I prepared to capture memories of the event with my camera. Like this pic …

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Mite Be Funny – A Look Back

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

Last week, the 100th Mite Be Funny cartoon was published. That’s 100 cartoons about arachnids. I started Mite Be Funny with this cartoon almost two years ago.

Mite Be Funny skin flakes

I set an unrealistic goal of 100 Mite Be Funny cartoons about the lives and loves of dust mites that eat our dead skin flakes. It did not seem plausible that I could write 100 entertaining cartoons about mites eating dead skin flakes. And I was right. This is typical of the bad jokes contained in these cartoons …

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New Job Tips

~ Jim Flanigan

I have a friend who started a big new job and traveled to orientation in New York this past week. Each morning he was in NY, I texted him some words of inspiration and advice to help him navigate through the corporate jungle and survive without getting his privates nibbled off, unless he likes that kind of stuff. Then I said to myself, “Hey, I should share these gems with the world. There are lots of people starting new jobs that could benefit from these. Now what should I have for breakfast? No, dear. I’m not talking to myself again.”

Here they are in no particular order except chronological.

Monday’s Tip

You can’t fail if you don’t try.

office space3

 

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Flies On Washington Walls #138 – Special Subornation Explanation Multi-Panel Edition

~ Jim Flanigan

foww #138a suborning

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Weather or Not to March

~ Jim Flanigan

I have been on weather-watch all week. Saturday is the day of the Women’s March, but this year there is not going to be a march in Chicago. Leave it to the local progressive women to organize one in the town next to mine.

women's march

Crowds of 500 to 5,000 are expected. How do you plan for that wide of a range? Will there be enough hot chocolate? I was tagged as being an able-bodied male who could act as a march marshal. They obviously haven’t seen my body. And shouldn’t we call a march marshal a marchal?

I was not thrilled when I saw early in the week a Saturday forecast of temperatures in the low twenties (F) plus a blizzard. Predicted temps are now in the high twenties and the blizzard may be Friday night. We may wake up to this Saturday morning.

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MAGA – Make Anagrams Great Again

~ Jim Flanigan

I realize that my earlier post today was not very funny. It was more of a cathartic blog/scream for me. Let’s call it a bleam. I just can’t get over our elected legislators siding with Russia, even if some of them are elected by people in Sharthole, Mississippi. No offense to Shartholians.

But Twitter made me smile today. I suggested to @tweakyourpc who is Chris Davis of Make Anagrams Great Again to do a Where’s Mitch anagram. That’s what we are all asking. Mitch McConnell is not putting bills on the Senate floor to reopen the US government, and has been generally hiding out recently, except for voting to lift Russia sanctions. Traitor! Oops, there I go again. Anyway, @tweakyourpc Chris obliged with this gem …

anagram where's mitch

Thanks to Chris for making me smile. I hope you do, too.

Russian to Vote

~ Jim Flanigan

The US Senate voted yesterday on whether or not to allow sanctions against Russia to be lifted. All Democratic Senators voted to retain the sanctions. I was pleased to see these Republican Senators vote with the Democrats to retain the sanctions:

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Brush Off

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

I know I’m supposed to brush my teeth after every meal, but I always regret it. Invariably, I start brushing and then dislodge a piece of food that was stuck in my teeth. At that point, I face quite the conundrum. Aw shoot, I never know what to do.

toothbrush gun

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Show Me The Money!

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

Some bloggers make money off their blogs. I don’t know how to do that.

I see other blogs selling products. I don’t know how to do that.

I see other blogs plastered with advertising. I don’t know how to do that.

I see other blogs with affiliate links. I don’t know how to do that, and on top of that, I don’t know what affiliate links are. If they are anything like sausage links, I am willing to learn about them.

Despite my general lack of knowledge about blogging and specific lack of knowledge about making money off blogging, I have decided to monetize this blog in the only way I know how. I’ll take a hundred bucks to make this my last blog post ever. You know you want to be the one to shut this down. Make me an offer before I post again.

Blog Shutdown

~ Jim Flanigan

Due to the continuing US government shutdown, this blog (deemed as non-essential by the Trump Administration) will not be posting for a few days. Finally, you can be grateful to Donald Trump for something. Any posts that may occur will likely be lacking humor. I hope you will be able to tell the difference.

Thanks to a generous grant from CACA (Corporation Advancing Cartoon Arachnids), Mite Be Funny has been fully funded through tomorrow, and Mite Be Funny #100 will post tomorrow as scheduled. We are seeking further funding from organizations like FFF (Foundation For Flies) to continue to bring you such regular features like Flies On Washington Walls cartoons. Don’t hold your breath.

Immigration Explained

~ Jim Flanigan

Now that I am an ordained minister, I feel it is incumbent upon me to explain and sermonize about humanitarian issues like immigration. I can easily explain the basics of immigration thanks to this drawing I found on Twitter.immigation

But there is so much more. For example, this picture doesn’t even begin to address the use of “unbelievable vehicles” by the Mexican drug cartels.

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Another Blogging Secret Revealed

~ Jim Flanigan

I’m not sure what this says about me or this blog, but I tend to add more followers on the days I don’t post.

Your Salvation is in my Hands

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 3 Comments

In yesterday’s post, I waxed philosophical about religion. Later that day, I waxed my back & shoulders. I’ll blog about that hair-raising experience another day. Today, I will tell you what I am doing about the whole religion issue.

I’m not one to sit back and do nothing, unless it is the weekend and effort is required on my part. I think religion has gone off course, especially with so-called evangelical Christians supporting hedonistic pagan Donald Trump. I don’t want to crucify or even cross those Christians. They don’t need my persecution. I think they need salvation.

With that in mind, I acquired this yesterday …

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Shhhh!

~ Jim Flanigan

A dear friend, who is also a follower of this blog, just came back from a silent weekend retreat. I’m anxious to hear how it was, assuming he can speak now. If he tries to be a tough cookie, we have ways to make him talk.

ways to make him talk.png

Why, oh why, do I love those bad jokes? I initially thought I would never do a silent retreat. Then I got to thinking of some of the benefits …

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Mite Be Funny #99

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

mite be funny #99a warm winter

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New Music for Old Rockers – Matt Maeson Edition

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

I warned you. In a recent music-related post, I teased a possible recurring feature for this blog. You did not heed the warning. You are back and reading about who or what I am listening to this week that I find to be auralicious.

That is new artist Matt Maeson with his song ‘Cringe’ off of his Who Killed Matt Maeson debut EP from 2017 that is getting airplay now. The music biz sure takes its sweet time to reveal talent. Take a listen.

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