Brush Off

I know I’m supposed to brush my teeth after every meal, but I always regret it. Invariably, I start brushing and then dislodge a piece of food that was stuck in my teeth. At that point, I face quite the conundrum. Aw shoot, I never know what to do.

I want to eat the food, but the food is covered in toothpaste and saliva. I could remove the food, rinse it off, and finish brushing. But then after eating the salvaged food, I would have to brush again, and I didn’t even want to brush in the first place. It makes me sorta crazy thinking about it when I brush.

The normal person would just finish brushing. The dislodged food would be spit out during the rinse cycle. But if I did that, I know I would think longingly and fondly of that lost food when I get hungry later in the day.

There is another option. It is not discussed much. It is the dreaded and normally-avoided Nuclear Option.

I could just swallow and not spit. Go ahead, make your crude jokes now. If you are reading this blog, I know what degenerate jokes you are thinking of.

The benefits are that I can finish brushing, swallow the food, and save water by not rinsing. I’m just afraid that it won’t go down so well.

Although this is a serious subject that I don’t want to brush off, I do hope this blog post gave you cause to smile.