Jim Flanigan Looks at the World
Turning the Mundane into Fundane Since 2015
I had planned on renaming my family league’s 0-5 winless fantasy football team this week from the Baby Blimps …
to the Losingest Losers of Loserville. I swear I have played fantasy football before, and even won the league last season. Whatever could be distracting me?
For the Losingest Losers of Loserville, I could have used this team logo …
Now that Bart O’Kavanaugh has been confirmed to the US Supreme Court, I think we have learned a few things.
First, Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski deserves some respect. She listened to her constituents, and voted in a way to represent their wishes. I hear that useless bag of creepy skin filled with idiocy and oozing out word jumbles known as Sarah Palin is threatening to primary Murkowski in 2020. Newsflash! Murkowski was already primaried in the last Senate election in 2010 by her beloved Republican party, and she still won the general election as a freakin’ write-in candidate. Do you know how hard it is to spell Murkowski?
Q: What Democrat looks like a Republican, talks like a Republican, and votes like a Republican?
I received this Emergency Presidential Alert on my phone the other day. As if I needed an alert to know we have an emergency in the country surrounding the presidency.
I have resisted confirming it. I’m hoping that somewhere in the Trump administration, there is someone confused and concerned as to why I am not confirming receipt. RESIST!
I decided to keep the Baby Blimps for one more week as the name and logo for my winless fantasy football team in my family’s league.
Why? That’s an easy answer. I finally got to meet my team logo.
Caught on video recently was a plucky piece of toilet paper making a rare escape after encountering fecal matter.
After the latest expose from the New York Times on the Trump crime syndicate’s tax fraud and money laundering, I am convinced that we must continue to shine a light on and see through the Trump cover-ups.
And we should take a close look at any of his bald-faced lies.
This specific cover-up is definitely wearing thin.
The New York Times has certainly made a splash as they have exposed bare the Trump family’s tax fraud and money laundering through the decades. I am primarily familiar with money laundering thanks to the great TV series Breaking Bad.
That’s a coincidence. I have an aunt who many years ago used to swear I looked just like Nicholas Cage. Let’s just say Cage has aged better since then thanks to a better trainer, better cosmetician, better tailor, better hairpiece (I use a scrap I cut out from an old burlap sack), and fewer kids. But that’s a story for another blog. Let’s get back to the Trump crime family and money laundering.
Continue reading “Trump’s Dirty Laundry Super Gif Special Edition”
Last weekend I led my winless family fantasy football team into battle as the KavaNots.
This weekend, my team is still winless, but heading into week 4 with a new team name and logo …
I am still scratching my head trying to figure out how all the Republican senators on the Judiciary Committee can turn their back on non-investigated sexual assault charges and vote to pass along SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh for a full Senate vote. Maybe it is because of the invisible glasses that Orrin Hatch wears that allows him to see the truth that we cannot see.
Maybe it is because Lindsey Graham can’t imagine sexually assaulting a female. I wonder what kind of kompromat the Russians are holding over Graham’s head that have made him take such a 180 degree turn and become such a Trump toadie. Just look at the change …
Hey World, stop laughing at us. We knew you’ve been doing it. We tried to ignore your titters and giggles at moments like this when Donald Trump showed off his tiny hands that could barely hold a bottle of water.
Or when he looked directly at an eclipse with no eye protection.
Or when the biggest cover-up in Washington, DC history gets exposed from time to time.
However, your sounds of mirth were often drowned out by your gasps of horror at times like these.
Another week, another loss for my family fantasy football team as I am now 0-2 in that league. Last week my team lost as the Hurricane Towels with this logo.
Fortunately, Donald Trump’s visit to the hurricane-ravaged areas in the Carolinas this past week did not include tossing paper towels to the victims. Unfortunately, as he passed out meals, he was caught on video telling one victim to “Have a good time.” Yep, if being flooded and losing everything so that you have to accept meals from a career criminal is your cup of tea, I guess it could be a good time.
Week 3 of fantasy football is upon us, so I turned my attention to SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh for inspiration for a new team name. I had considered The KavaNaughties, but I felt that name was a bit too glib, and it trivialized and diminished the seriousness of his alleged felony sexual assault against Dr. Ford. Once again, as a Public Service Message in case Dr. Ford reads this blog (and why wouldn’t she?), I am pleased to mention that there is no statute of limitations for felony sexual assault in the State of Maryland. Just sayin.’
I am happy with the team name I chose that Brett Kavanaugh did inspire.
The title of today’s blog post is a saying and a movie from the great comedian W.C. Fields, and I tested that saying the other day. I opened my car door in a parking lot and accidentally lightly tapped the car next to mine. I had the door in my control at all times and could immediately see that zero damage was done to either vehicle. I could also see the other vehicle was a Cadillac Escalade which I stereo-typically view as driven by a criminal, drug dealer or pimp.
Hmmm, maybe point proved. Anyway, the angry owner jumped out of the car, I assumed (hoped?) to sell me drugs or whatever. However, he insisted I damaged his car. Where? There was no mark. I opened the door again close to his car. Nothing there where the two cars had kissed. He pointed to a spot about half an inch away. I insisted that could not be from my door. He insisted I did not understand the laws of physics. Well, he was right about that, but that did not explain why the spot on his car was white and my car is gray. He insisted I provide my insurance card and driver’s license. I refused.
I’m not a small guy, but this guy was big. He made me look small and old. Well, at least the old part was accurate. And he smoked unfiltered Camel cigarettes. I think that means he can rip me in half, but probably not be able to catch me to try.
I resisted. I have a lot of experience resisting the last year and a half. He threatened to call the police. I told him to go ahead. And then he called my bluff and made the call. Gulp.
There is a line in Don McLean’s song, American Pie, about “the day the music died.” For me, it should have been “the days the music died” which perfectly described this past weekend for me. My 2018 concert summer experience was just showing signs of life with September concerts by Cheap Trick and Rare Earth. This past Saturday, I had a chance to make 2018 a memorable concert summer.
Chicago is a city chock full o’ of summer music festivals, and Riot Fest came to town this past weekend. No, it is not a celebration of the 1968 Democratic National Convention held in Chicago between riots. It’s an incredible 3-day music festival. I could have seen Weezer headline Friday night, and I thought it would be cool on Sunday to see Debbie Harry bring Blondie to Riot Fest to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the release of their great album Parallel Lines. But I couldn’t believe the line-up of artists I could see on Saturday. I could spend about 7 hours there in music heaven wandering from stage to stage to see favorites. Take a look at this line-up …
Continue reading “The Day the Music Died – Part 1, Saturday”
Each week I am changing my family league fantasy football team name and logo to tweak my Trump-loving relatives in the league. Last week, this guy’s mug was the logo for my team, the Mueller Marauders.
You can read the details HERE.
This week, I was stymied. I had a team name of the Sanders Raised Eyebrows planned, but there is a character limit on team names. “Mine is too long,” I said for the first time ever.
However, I am happy with my alternate choice for this week.
Has it really been 17 years since September 11, 2017? Wow, time flies.
The NFL season has begun. That means my fantasy football season has begun. That means my fantasy feuding with my Trump-loving relatives in my family’s fantasy football league has begun. Say that 3 times fast.
I explained in a prior post about my plan to tweak the Trumpkin relatives in my family’s fantasy football league with Trump-baiting team names. I entered our online draft as the DC United Patriots with this team logo.
That elicited nary a comment. Who can complain about someone with a patriotic team name and logo? So for week 1, I decided to turn up the tweaking a bit. Here’s my week 1 team logo …
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 