I tried. I really tried to reach my goal of 20 pounds lost before fall. But I’m solidly stuck at 17 down as the cold, wet weather has rolled in. I upped my daily steps in September to this daily average for the month …Continue reading “Weight Until Spring”
I had slipped into a summer exercise routine that felt as comfortable as my fat pants with the stretch waistband after about 20 wearings without a washing. I would get up early and take a long solo walk or bike ride. Most days I would stop at one of the many wild berry patches I had scouted and pick fresh mulberries, raspberries, or blackberries for my consumption that day. After work, I would walk the dog and swim some laps in our little pool. Then the weather started to change. We had a stretch of rain and cold. No cycling for a week. I took down the pool before it turned into an above ground ice skating rink. So much for my swimming workouts. I immediately started to gain back the weight I had lost. My quest for a 20 lb. weight loss seemed unattainable.
But then, one man inspired and motivated me to try and make that weight loss happen. Who, you ask? I’m pretty sure I heard someone ask. Come on, raise your hand if it was you asking. Nobody, huh? Regardless, that man is …Continue reading “Motivation Recalibration”
Back when I started my career, I worked for a company that ran a “Go For 10!” promotion. They were a smaller company in their industry, and they wanted to push sales to get into the top 10. So, Go For 10! They failed. In fact, they may have fallen further down the ranks, and I was a part of it. Great story, right?
I’m running my own personal “Go For 20” promotion, but not to get into the top 20 of human beings. I don’t have a chance of getting there, especially when I publish a series of blog posts titled “Am I a Bad Guy?”
But I do have a chance to lose 20 pounds! I’m going for 20 pounds lost! By the end of August, I had officially lost 17 pounds of winter tubbiness and am currently trending toward 18 lost pounds of lard. How? COVID lead to underemployment which lead to less money which lead to me to walking and biking while contemplating my dilemma which lead me to notice things growing which lead me to eating those growing things. Here’s my harvest of European plums today …
They kind of look like sweet, juicy red seedless grapes. They’re not. NOT AT ALL. They taste nothing like grapes. They are edible but tart. I will eat them, but it’s not like there’s a chance I’m going to overeat. The real key to the weight loss has been in taking steps to better health, literally. Take a look at this pic.Continue reading “Go For 20!”
I’ve delayed writing this post for a month now. I know what you’re thinking … I should have made it 2 months. But I finally feel comfortable writing it now for reasons I will soon disclose.
But first, even though most of my blog posts are considered uproariously hilarious by the general public, and members of General Public, I want to make it perfectly clear that I take the COVID-19 coronavirus seriously. I got tested after participating in BLM marches. I social distance. I WEAR A FREAKIN’ MASK. You should, too. COVID-19 goes hand-in-hand with Donald Trump as the scourge of my lifetime.
But thanks to COVID-19, I have lost weight. I’ll explain …
I was busy this past Memorial Day weekend. I finished four 10Ks over four consecutive weekend days. No, not 10K (6.2 mile) running races. My running days are over. Steps! 10,000 steps minimum a day for four consecutive days. I noticed on Friday that I just barely broke 10K steps after cutting the front lawn after work. Could I do it for 3 more days? I only had one more lawn. I surprised myself, even topping 16K steps on Saturday.
To my utter amazement, I may have also made a shocking scientific discovery. I lost weight. I’m starting to think there may be some weird connection between exercise and weight loss.
I was unwilling/unable to continue the exercise/weight loss experiment after the weekend. On Tuesday, I decided to take a step back and rest. I’m going to need to be well-rested if you expect me to make the scientific health discovery of a lifetime and win a Nobel Prize.
I’m desperately trying to lose weight during this COVID-19 coronavirus crisis. It’s not so much about conserving our family’s precious food supplies. It’s more about becoming a less attractive target for when the cannibalism begins.
If someone loses the weight they gained over the holidays, does that really count as losing weight? Asking for a friend.
I have been stuck at my normal winter weight now for weeks since losing my 5 lbs of excess winter weight. I still want to drop an additional 5 lbs of normal winter weight to get down to the weight where I would feel I am 10 lbs overweight which is 10 lbs over what I feel would be a good weight for me, although still a bit heavy. Make sense? If it does, read on, take your meds, and consult a mental health professional.
I recently stumbled on what may be the key to more weight loss.
I was really moving in a positive direction with losing my excess winter weight. Now I could focus on losing my normal winter weight. That is, until my wife declared that she was ordering this …
Except, she wasn’t just ordering 3 deep dish slices of deliciosity. She ordered a full deep dish pie and also ordered a thin crust. Oh, and a huge salad. We do have a large family. All that food was problem enough for my dieting, but there was a larger problem. No, not my waistline. That was a low blow of you to think that. The problem was …
Love the song …
Hate the actual weight …
But there it is, around my midsection after every winter. I even set a new record high for winter weight this year. Yay? I rely on a warm Spring to melt those pounds away, but we didn’t have one this year. It was cold and wet. And so I waited as I jiggled through April and May.
But then, last weekend happened.
With the weather finally showing signs of Spring, I took some time to assess the weight-gain damage I inflicted upon myself this winter. It’s not good.
I topped out at 2 pounds higher than my former record, so I guess I set a new maximum weight record this winter. Yay?
I somehow exited winter and a chilly spring at the same weight I was at before the holidays last year. But now I have another ten pounds I would like to lose, and they will be tough. I’ll be fighting for every fraction of a pound to lose this summer while I still stuff my pie-hole daily. Maybe I should go metric. 10 pounds is just 4.5 kilograms! That sure sounds like a lot less to lose.
Anyway, here are my Top Ten secrets as to when to take to the scale and weigh in.
We have decided to purchase a treadmill so I can get nowhere in my battle to lose weight not only figuratively, but also literally. I looked at a few in stores and online. I ran on some in stores, but not online. My tablet would not have been able to support my weight. I finally made a choice, based on one very important specification as highlighted in this pic …
I have lost weight this past year, about 10 pounds. Who knew that a combination of exercise and a sensible diet would result in weight loss? I still have 10 pounds to go, but they will have to wait until Spring as I prepare to face the upcoming gauntlet of holiday tables of gluttony with less exercise.
We are all fatter just from looking at that picture. I should just increase my exercise, but it looks like it may decrease. Here’s why.
No, not playing squash. Eating it. I thought I was being so healthy, buying a spaghetti squash that I planned to prepare for lunch. And so I did. A little olive oil, some garlic salt, some pepper, and it baked into a tasty treat. The problem is, the squash I ate looked like this …
Those pharmaceutical commercials do work. I’m considering asking my doctor about Otezla. Here’s their attention-getting commercial …
This will replace my last diet plan. Remember the last one?
Well, that last weight loss plan of mine involving not farting did not work well at all. Chalk one up for the fat cells as I continue to struggle to lose weight. I know, I know … sensible diet and exercise. I do exercise. I walk, bike and swim, sort of a triathlon lite. But I have a plan to rev up my exercise program.
I’m seriously trying to lose a few pounds these days. I weigh myself every morning, and I like to see progress. I have several theories that have resulted in a strategy I have concocted for weight loss that involves farting, or lack therof.
If I have gained weight over the summer, would that be a weight loss loss?
WARNING: The following photo may be disturbing to more sensitive viewers.
Can I consider this a win?