No, I didn’t misspell “fasting.” That’s FATSing, my trademarked and patent-pending weight loss schemescam system. It’s not a diet. It’s a weight loss system. You see, after giving up a month ago on any significant weight loss this summer, I lost 3 pounds in June using my FATSing system. That puts me within 3 pounds of my original goal of losing 20 pounds set over a year ago.
FATSing stands for Fitness Awareness Testing System. And then I stuck an “ing” on the end for no apparent reason. The way the system works is this …
There are those who experience some weight loss, can’t seem to lose any more, and accept that they may have to be comfortable at that weight. But who has 2 thumbs and won’t accept that?
That’s right. For the second month in a row, I have maintained weight but not lost any.
I know, and I agree. My dreams of losing 10 more pounds by the end of summer are gone. That is just unrealistic now. Maybe if I can try for a pound a month June through September, I can get to a slightly lower weight than at the end of last summer. Would that be cause to celebrate?
I normally like to wait a day or two after the end of the month to announce my weight loss for the month. I check my weight for several days in a row before and after the last day of the month to verify that I actually did lose weight that month. But here we are a week into May, and I’m still not sure. My weight bounced around like a ping pong ball at a college fraternity beer pong tournament. Up several pounds one day and down a pound the next. A week into May, and about the only statement I am comfortable making is that I didn’t lose any weight. I’m still staring at losing 10 pounds by the end of warm weather in the fall.
My weight loss plan was at a serious disadvantage in April with Easter coming early in the month. My plan to deal with all the chocolate in the house at Easter was to eat it all as quickly as possible. Success!
Easter was quickly followed two days later by the local election that I lost but still won. Yes, third runner-up was enough to be elected. I felt like a kid at a rec league soccer tournament where everyone gets a trophy. But I think it’s official now that this came in the mail …
When I posted my last weight loss goal a month ago, I really had hoped to ramp up my steps outside in March to drop some of the weight I gained over winter. That did not happen to the magnitude I had hoped. Take a look at this modest increase in steposity.
Yawn. Big deal, right? This local election I’m in kept me behind my computer screen a bit too much, and my exercise activity became very sporadic and erractic. But take a look at this new high water mark in stepitude for me.
This is really a shot to my weight loss bow. I love donuts as well as doughnuts. No matter how you spell them, I will eat them. Krispy Kreme is offering free donuts for the rest of 2021 to all those that are COVID-19 vaccinated. Take a look …
When we last left our plucky dieter (me!), my diet plan for January & February was for me to gain 2 pounds each month in order to lose weight. You can read and try and make sense of that logic in the complete post HERE, but the gist is that it is inevitable that I will gain weight in the winter, so I need to control my weight gain, unlike in years past when I have inflated like a balloon at a kid’s birthday party by the end of winter.
That is me after most winters. Oh, but not this one. I planned to limit my weight gain which would allow me to start Spring weighing less than a year ago. After only gaining a pound in December, I planned to add 2 pounds each month in January and February. Then I could start March at 9 pounds less than last year. I lost 17 pounds in 2020 before the cold weather hit, so if I could lose just 15 additional pounds this year, I would be very happy at being down 24 total pounds from my peak in early 2020. Whew, I did not realize there would be math required with this post.
So, what did I do to only gain 2 pounds in January? Well, I exercised less. Take a look …
I tried. I really tried to reach my goal of 20 pounds lost before fall. But I’m solidly stuck at 17 down as the cold, wet weather has rolled in. I upped my daily steps in September to this daily average for the month …
I had slipped into a summer exercise routine that felt as comfortable as my fat pants with the stretch waistband after about 20 wearings without a washing. I would get up early and take a long solo walk or bike ride. Most days I would stop at one of the many wild berry patches I had scouted and pick fresh mulberries, raspberries, or blackberries for my consumption that day. After work, I would walk the dog and swim some laps in our little pool. Then the weather started to change. We had a stretch of rain and cold. No cycling for a week. I took down the pool before it turned into an above ground ice skating rink. So much for my swimming workouts. I immediately started to gain back the weight I had lost. My quest for a 20 lb. weight loss seemed unattainable.
But then, one man inspired and motivated me to try and make that weight loss happen. Who, you ask? I’m pretty sure I heard someone ask. Come on, raise your hand if it was you asking. Nobody, huh? Regardless, that man is …
Back when I started my career, I worked for a company that ran a “Go For 10!” promotion. They were a smaller company in their industry, and they wanted to push sales to get into the top 10. So, Go For 10! They failed. In fact, they may have fallen further down the ranks, and I was a part of it. Great story, right?
But I do have a chance to lose 20 pounds! I’m going for 20 pounds lost! By the end of August, I had officially lost 17 pounds of winter tubbiness and am currently trending toward 18 lost pounds of lard. How? COVID lead to underemployment which lead to less money which lead to me to walking and biking while contemplating my dilemma which lead me to notice things growing which lead me to eating those growing things. Here’s my harvest of European plums today …
They kind of look like sweet, juicy red seedless grapes. They’re not. NOT AT ALL. They taste nothing like grapes. They are edible but tart. I will eat them, but it’s not like there’s a chance I’m going to overeat. The real key to the weight loss has been in taking steps to better health, literally. Take a look at this pic.
I’ve delayed writing this post for a month now. I know what you’re thinking … I should have made it 2 months. But I finally feel comfortable writing it now for reasons I will soon disclose.
But first, even though most of my blog posts are considered uproariously hilarious by the general public, and members of General Public, I want to make it perfectly clear that I take the COVID-19 coronavirus seriously. I got tested after participating in BLM marches. I social distance. I WEAR A FREAKIN’ MASK. You should, too. COVID-19 goes hand-in-hand with Donald Trump as the scourge of my lifetime.
But thanks to COVID-19, I have lost weight. I’ll explain …
I was busy this past Memorial Day weekend. I finished four 10Ks over four consecutive weekend days. No, not 10K (6.2 mile) running races. My running days are over. Steps! 10,000 steps minimum a day for four consecutive days. I noticed on Friday that I just barely broke 10K steps after cutting the front lawn after work. Could I do it for 3 more days? I only had one more lawn. I surprised myself, even topping 16K steps on Saturday.
To my utter amazement, I may have also made a shocking scientific discovery. I lost weight. I’m starting to think there may be some weird connection between exercise and weight loss.
I was unwilling/unable to continue the exercise/weight loss experiment after the weekend. On Tuesday, I decided to take a step back and rest. I’m going to need to be well-rested if you expect me to make the scientific health discovery of a lifetime and win a Nobel Prize.
I’m desperately trying to lose weight during this COVID-19 coronavirus crisis. It’s not so much about conserving our family’s precious food supplies. It’s more about becoming a less attractive target for when the cannibalism begins.
I have been stuck at my normal winter weight now for weeks since losing my 5 lbs of excess winter weight. I still want to drop an additional 5 lbs of normal winter weight to get down to the weight where I would feel I am 10 lbs overweight which is 10 lbs over what I feel would be a good weight for me, although still a bit heavy. Make sense? If it does, read on, take your meds, and consult a mental health professional.
I recently stumbled on what may be the key to more weight loss.
I was really moving in a positive direction with losing my excess winter weight. Now I could focus on losing my normal winter weight. That is, until my wife declared that she was ordering this …
Except, she wasn’t just ordering 3 deep dish slices of deliciosity. She ordered a full deep dish pie and also ordered a thin crust. Oh, and a huge salad. We do have a large family. All that food was problem enough for my dieting, but there was a larger problem. No, not my waistline. That was a low blow of you to think that. The problem was …
But there it is, around my midsection after every winter. I even set a new record high for winter weight this year. Yay? I rely on a warm Spring to melt those pounds away, but we didn’t have one this year. It was cold and wet. And so I waited as I jiggled through April and May.
I somehow exited winter and a chilly spring at the same weight I was at before the holidays last year. But now I have another ten pounds I would like to lose, and they will be tough. I’ll be fighting for every fraction of a pound to lose this summer while I still stuff my pie-hole daily. Maybe I should go metric. 10 pounds is just 4.5 kilograms! That sure sounds like a lot less to lose.
Anyway, here are my Top Ten secrets as to when to take to the scale and weigh in.
We have decided to purchase a treadmill so I can get nowhere in my battle to lose weight not only figuratively, but also literally. I looked at a few in stores and online. I ran on some in stores, but not online. My tablet would not have been able to support my weight. I finally made a choice, based on one very important specification as highlighted in this pic …
I have lost weight this past year, about 10 pounds. Who knew that a combination of exercise and a sensible diet would result in weight loss? I still have 10 pounds to go, but they will have to wait until Spring as I prepare to face the upcoming gauntlet of holiday tables of gluttony with less exercise.
We are all fatter just from looking at that picture. I should just increase my exercise, but it looks like it may decrease. Here’s why.